How assertive/direct would you say you are? Is it something natural to you, learned, or that you struggle with? Have you grown in your assertiveness? How so? What worked for you?
I am 35 and definitely not a push over, but would like to be more assertive in just day to day life. Im a high school teacher, and for some reason that’s where my assertiveness really kicks in and I’m completely fine with confrontation. IDK, it’s like a switch goes off in my mind.
But, I’d like to be more assertive (not aggressive) in just day to day life and have the same level of confidence I do when teaching. For example, if my neighbor is blasting music I might not say anything for a while until it really builds up and I’m pissed. In those situations I am typically on the edge of flipping out, and when I get angry I have a bad habit of working myself up even more and more, and it’s gotten me into some bad situations in the past.
Comments
on a scale of 1-10?
51 and grown into my assertiveness. Still not as assertive as I’d like but gaining ground.
I’m a super chill person that is completely peace with themselves. Why do you ask? Want to fight about it? Come at me bro!
As much as I need to be. Duh.
I feel I was brought up to not be assertive, so I’m constantly learning to be better at it. Unfortunately my anxiety is my biggest obstacle now and leads to me not being assertive in some situations I know I absolutely should be
Only with things that I know a lot about. It’s not very much, to be honest. I’m basically a big dummy with most things and I’m willing to admit that. There’s a few things I do know about and I had to learn the hard way. I’d rather not have others learn the hard and painful ways I did so I am assertive to help them avoid unnecessary pain and hardship.
I’m not assertive until I have to be. Like a brick wall. Plenty of wiggle room in front of that where I’m happy to make concessions but if you use all of that up, you’ll run up against my brick wall when I tell you how it’s gonna be.
I personally have tried different things, tried the confrontation it didn’t work since people don’t like to be told the naked truth to their faces I feel like it is human nature.
Tried the cutting off the person from my life sometimes it works depend on the situation.
Tried silence treatment hit and miss .. depends on the other person self awareness
If I already know the person and have a good idea about their personality.. I try to show them in the middle of different conversations what my boundaries are without making them feel like “I know you have this behaviour or trait don’t act like this with me” … mostly it works it makes them feel like the idea is coming from them like they have found out in their internal dialogue that they shouldn’t act like this with me
Last but not least this is the most simplest one and the one that I advice you to try .. is that there is a million way to communicate your feelings, your boundaries etc, choose the kindest way .. this way you don’t get worked up, there is no grudge or hurt feeling from others, and you wouldn’t feel guilty that you have scolded someone…
By the kindest way I mean what is coming out of my mouth and how my body language and my energy is saying I felt it is also good for my sanity
African-Americans are typically very blunt or frank, and I’m no exception…since I have no filter in expressing myself.
I think that you should treat some adults as if they were your students. Not all adults are mature.
I’m ugly and weird, we don’t get to be assertive.
Very assertive. I used to do triage in an understaffed ER
I’d say I switch between assertive and more lenient. I just go along with things if I don’t have an opinion on something or if it doesn’t cause a problem. Usually if I disagree with someone I will let them have their way to an extent. I’m trying to temper that so I don’t become assertive once I actually get upset
If I’m by myself extremely
When I’m with my lady she makes the decisions 🤷🏻♂️
I used to be a pushover but now I’m very assertive
I’m very very calm and appear passive. But that was cultivated on purpose.
If I have to fight, I want it to be a surprise.
I was security at a strip club for a long time and had to fight.
I would often put my hands up and palms out and say, “please don’t hurt me I’ve never been in a fight” right as I’m throwing that short cross into a combination. I was also a competitive kickboxer for 8 years.
I can honestly say I am both very calm and passive, and very assertive when I need to be.
And I try my best to be underestimated.
why be assertive when u can be aggressive. joking!
but seriously, assertiveness is 42 on a 10 pt scale.