My younger brother has been keeping a long face since yesterday, for something that we did as a family, and that he considers inexcusable.
Here’s what happened:
Yesterday, we went with our parents to a restaurant that we hadn’t tried before. We didn’t know the menu, and the restaurant didn’t have a website with an online menu, but we figured there would be the usual stuff that we normally find in other similar places.
We got there, got seated, but immediately noticed that the menu didn’t have any of the dishes that our parents like, and the other items on the menu weren’t to their taste nor mine. So, I suggested that we change restaurant. My brother was opposed to the idea.
H first accused us of having made a bad choice, then said that we had to live with it, even if we didn’t like the food there. He said that leaving a restaurant after having already sat down was disgusting behavior.
However, because our parents very rarely give themselves the luxury of eating at restaurants, I really wanted them to enjoy the night out with food they did like.
Also, it hadn’t even been 5 minutes since we had entered the restaurant, and we hadn’t even ordered water yet, so even though I admitted that it would be disrespectful to leave, I still thought that it was not worth forcing our parents to eat things they didn’t like on the rare occasion that they were eating out.
I stood up, they followed me, we apologized to the waiters, and left.
It’s been over 24 hours since then, and my brother still hasn’t let us live it down. Even while we were eating at the other restaurant, he didn’t speak a single word, and even refused to eat many of the dishes that he normally likes.
He’s been alternating between either not speaking at all, or reiterating that what we did was “absolutely deplorable”, and that “no decent human would do something like this”.
Again, I know that it wasn’t really nice of us, and I know that the restaurant owner might have thought unkind words in his mind, but I still don’t think it was that bad.
It’s not like we started eating, decided we didn’t like the food, and expected to leave the restaurant without paying for the food. We entered and left within 3 minutes without ordering anything.
Still, I admit that I’m not really good with social customs, so I might very well be deserving every bit of hate for my decision.
So I’m asking you guys, how bad is it to leave a restaurant minutes after entering, because the menu wasn’t to our liking?
Comments
It’s fine. People sometimes get to a restaurant and change their minds. No need to give it any more thought.
If done shortly after arriving, it’s unfortunate but not so bad. The restaurant should understand.
If we have gotten as far as getting menus and water, I’d probably leave $5 for the waiter. Not saying you have to do the same.
Perhaps if you just walked out, it might be a little rude. But since you said you apologised as you left, you’re fine.
Your brother is blowing this way out of proportion.
It had no yelp or Google reviews with pics of the menu? Damn, least you could’ve done is take some and post em hah
Being polite in this (and all) situations goes a long way and what should be done anyway. Usually the other people understand. Just get up say “I’m so sorry something came up” to the closest worker, they always have said “oh no problem” and you walk out. Done
your brother overreacted. he thinks for some reason other people or the waiters would think this was rude . it happens all the time. show him this post after a bunch of people say he overeacted.
Your brother needs to get over himself and quit being self righteous. Does he guilt trip you about other things as well?
You did not dine and dash. You did nothing wrong. It would be different if you had placed an order and then left.
I have reconsidered dining in an establishment and left a few times. I have seen other people do the same. You know what the staff did? Shrugged and went back to work.
Your brother is being overdramatic and ridiculous, imo. You hadn’t ordered anything so no food was wasted, and you left after a few minutes so it’s not like you wasted much of the staff’s time. Why should your family pay for food they don’t want to eat?
If I don’t know or can’t find menu before I sit I would ask for menu to make sure… but your brother is acting like you dine and dashed. You sat decided you didn’t want anything and didn’t waste the waiters time any more or less then that. This is a let it go situation that hopefully he just lets go
Not in the slightest. They are or should be glad they don’t have to serve someone something they don’t want. Dressing the table slightly is the risk of only revealing the menu at the table.
Some touristy restaurants try to bind you by serving drinks lightning fast. I’m not having it, so when the menu is poor or dishonest I pay for the drink and leave.
I did this twice at a restaurant with my family.
The first restaurant we walked in and a dude was just standing back there and didn’t acknowledge us and I personally did it like the smell so we walked out.
Literally but walk to another restaurant The first one was in Indian restaurant the second one was a Chinese restaurant We sat in a booth because there was no server there so we didn’t know what to do We waited we waited we saw the waitress look at us She didn’t give us a menu didn’t acknowledge us or nothing surely they could have been busy we waited and then we just left. No apologies neither done our part but I think you guys did the right thing You apologize then left Not a big deal.
Want to sit down in a restaurant especially if you don’t know the food It’s not like you ordered something and then apologized and said hey I’m leaving That would have been deplorable.
Im not sure what hes on about. You went. Didnt like the menu. Apologized and left. It happens. As someone who has worked service industry most of my life I see nothing wrong with this. Hes creating an issue in his head where there is none.
Probably should have asked to see the menu before being seated but ultimately what you did isn’t an issue like he’s making it out to be.
Hoe old us your brother?
That sounds like a kid tantrum, he will realize it the moment he has to pay for stuff himself that one rather has good food
People do this all the time I’m sure, the waiters aren’t gonna be offended by it. I have walked out of restaurants after sitting down and realising that the menu is pricier than I thought!
Unless one of your party stood on the table and curled one out, then left, you’ve nothing to worry about. It happens all the time, like going in a shop and not stealing anything, its fine.
Have a good day.
It seems like your brother has some kind of control issue. when a person has these unwritten “rules” that they very strongly feel have to be followed, and they get agitated at people who don’t follow them it’s usually some kind of deeper issue. He’s invented this rule in his head that you can’t leave a restaurant and is trying to force others to follow along and accept that his “rule” is commonplace when actually it’s just a delusion. Does he do this often?
Maybe there’s something else going on with your brother, because this reaction sounds a bit extreme
You did not order, you didn’t even get water. Who did you hurt? The busser that needed to wipe the table for 10 seconds after you left? It’s as though you were never there in the first place.
Words like “deplorable” and “disgusting” should be reserved for things that cause harm to other people.
If your brother is still ruminating over this, it makes me wonder if he has some sort of anxiety or a similar issue. Is this a frequent occurrence for him? Does he have trouble in social situations?
This happens. The staff understands.
To avoid this in the future, you can ask the host “Can we see the menu, please?” Before you are seated. If it is not to your liking, you just say, “Thank you” and walk away.
But don’t worry, waiters and restaurant staff deal with much more rude and annoying behavior than what you guys did. They have probably forgotten you already and so should your brother. However, it is good for your brother to think of others but not to the point of putting others above your own family’s happiness.
Is he a teenager by any chance? Teenagers sometimes have this mentality of social embarrassment being so great that they value social harmony at the expense of their own family’s happiness. It’s just a growing adjustment, where they must find balance over what they value and what to prioritize.
I used to work in restaurants, and when tables left moments after sitting, I found it actually kind of funny – I always assumed it was a case similar to you guys, they saw the menu and changed their minds. I’m not sure how to explain it, I found it funny in a charming way; like, good for you guys! Go where you wanna go, live your best life! It never bothered me to be the waitress and discovering that my table had changed their minds.
It doesn’t happen often, no, but it did happen a handful of times to me. Heck, I’ve even greeted tables to be told that they don’t know if they’re actually gonna stay and order or not, and it didn’t bother me to give them a few minutes to figure it out, even if it did end up with them leaving. You do not owe the restaurant anything if you hadn’t ordered yet, and it sounds like your server hadn’t even greeted you yet.
It’s fine. You don’t owe the restaurant anything for just walking in the door.
What if it was a donut shop. You walk in and they don’t have your favorite donut, would you feel obligated to buy donuts you don’t like?
It’s really the restaurant’s fault for not making their menu more available. Many restaurants have their menus displayed in a glass case outside the door or in the waiting area. Other times, I’ll ask to see the menu before being seated.. If the hostess wisks you into a seat as soon as you walk in and that’s your first chance to read the menu, I’m sure this happens there all the time.
It’s normal, your brother is overreacting.
This is no big deal at all. Is your brother the kind of person who pathologically avoids any kind of potential conflict?
Your brother is overreacting. This experience is uncomfortable at most, all the other adjectives are silly. And I guarantee you the servers didn’t think about it for more than a minute.
I worked in restaurants for much of my life. This happened semi-regularly. As staff or even management/owner we would not have given it another thought.
Our job is to give you a ncie experience. If our facility can’t do that, either due to selection or price, we would want you to find somewhere that can. In a worst case scenario you have something you don’t like or can’t afford and tell your friends we aren’t a nice place. That kind of word travels faster than light.
You did the right thing and your brother needs to grow up and grow a spine. 😂
Did he give a reason why it’s deplorable? I have never heard of this. If you order and then leave, that’s shitty because they already started working on it. But even if you get drinks you can leave so long as you pay for what you got. Your brother’s weird.
What on earth was the food on offer in a restaurant that three members of your family didn’t like?
Is your brother okay? I’m really worried for his mental health.
You’re paying customers and you deserve to like what you pay for. I was a server for fifteen years and I occasionally had this happen. I didn’t mind one bit. Just giggled with the other servers about it, reset the table and moved on.
as a waitress… we don’t care.
I work in a restaurant this happens quite consistently and we’ve never had an issue with it. I’d rather you leave than order something, not like it, complain and then leave unhappy. I want you to enjoy the food if you don’t like the menu and didn’t order, no harm no foul.
Your brother is acting crazy but it’s likely because he has social anxiety. He’s reliving the moment and everything the people around you must have thought and said over and over in his head when the fact of the matter is that they didn’t really care. A whole day later and they probably don’t even remember you at all. They may have even forgotten by that same evening.
It’s perfectly ok to leave a restaurant when you haven’t ordered. The only time it’s considered a bit socially rude is if you had a reserved table. I’ve left restaurants that were empty after sitting there for 5min and not being acknowledged by anyone. The restaurant will survive, they’re not gonna die because I got up and left.
LOL, what exactly is SO deplorable to him? That an employee watched some people not buy food one time? Does he believe it will send them into psychotherapy forevermore? If the answer to that is “no,” then it’s hardly “deplorable!!”
My husband and I stopped into a restaurant in a nearby town last week. Looked cute on the outside, and it was the only restaurant we’d seen nearby. Plus, it was rated 4.5 stars online. We go inside, where we see about 10 tables, two with customers, and the server immediately asks what we want to drink. She brings my husband a soft drink (I hadn’t decided yet), and while looking at the menu, we started noticing that the place was dirty. Like mold growing under the soda fountain, dirty buildup on the floors at the edges of walls and cabinets, and the coup de grace – a waitress that carried empty glasses she filled for her customers by pinching the glasses together instead of holding them from the outside of the glass.
I stood up and said nothing fit my diet well, and offered to pay for the soda. They declined to charge us, so I gave the girl a couple dollars as a tip and we left.
No big deal. Really.
Having worked in a lot of restaurants as a server, we literally could not care less. You left the table, so someone else was seated there and ordered and gave me a tip. If you had sat there for an hour deliberating and never ordered anything, that would have been annoying, but that is not what you did. Not rude, not even weird, it happens all the time.
Your brother needs to calm down. You looked at a menu and decided you weren’t going to just “settle” on what was offered. You have the right to get up, excuse yourself and leave.
Worked in a restaurant for 5 years. Had a handful of similar things happen. It’s odd, but not really offensive. The server might have felt a little bad for not getting to you for 5 minutes, but these things happen and they won’t remember you
I’ve been a server at several restaurants. It’s not uncommon for a group to leave soon after sitting down. Things happen.
No one takes offense to it, people have their reasons they decide to leave.