Throwaway account here. My girlfriend (26F) and I (25M) have been together for over 2 years. I love her with all my heart, but I made an uncountable amount of bad decisions during our relationship, especially at the beginning.
One month after we started dating, I drunkenly made a move on a random girl, we kissed, and I tried to take things even further (luckily it did not progress). This was followed by months of lying and denial to my partner about what happened, until it all came crashing down on me.
A few months after I cheated, I invited her to a night out with some friends of mine, some of whom were aware I cheated (they knew it because I asked them for advice the day after the cheating on how to handle this situation). She felt like I humiliated her by bringing her into a group of people who knew about what I did, why she was still in the dark about it.
Since then our relationship has been rough, with lots of ups and downs. While we both love each other, my repeated behaviour (lying, hiding things, not changing after having promised to do so many times, etc) has pushed her to the brink.
She feels like I care more about my self-image, and what people think about me, than I care about her and our relationship. She is now requesting me to come up with an idea on how to self-humiliate myself in front of my friends and family, so we can be even, and I can prove that she means more to me, than my own reputation.
I am trying to patch things up between us, and started seeing a therapist to help me improve myself and my behaviour. However, besides offering to come out with a public apology on social media, admitting my actions and how badly I treated her, I have no idea what else I could offer to her.
So, if anyone could offer any advice/idea on what I could do to humiliate myself publicly in front of the people I know, I would really appreciate if you shared it with me.
TL;DR: I publicly humiliated my girlfriend by cheating on her and introducing her to friends who knew about it, while she was unaware of it. She now wants me humiliate myself to prove that she is more important to me than my own reputation.
P.s. Yes, we are aware that our relationship is toxic. However, it was due to my repeated behaviour that we are where we are, and now I am really trying to prove to her that I care about our relationship, and I am putting in the effort to save it.
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In the P.S. you acknowledge the relationship is toxic. Humiliating yourself to please her is also toxic. It also is not going to save the relationship, even if it sets things “right” with your girlfriend for the time being. Instead, it is going to be another toxic input into your dynamic and set a bad precedent.
You both sound 12. She is asking for this as a way to make things right? I hope nobody comes up with anything but walk away and get counseling separately.
Invite the woman you boffed with and a bunch of other friends to a bbq party.
Once you are all liquored up, call everybody around for a special announcement.
Then drop trou, squat and take a shit, go to a single knee and propose to your woman with a ring fashioned from your feces with a corn kernel as the stone.
no.
this is toxic, childish shit. this isn’t a healthy relationship, you’re both too immature to be dating anyone at all.
please, both of you, stop inflicting your toxic selves on the dating pool.
stop dating anyone until you both learn how to behave like adults and decent human beings.
this whole thing is just dumb, you’re a scumbag and she’s a moron lol. break it up and go work on yourself, quit alcohol and go to therapy to fix your impulse to cheat.