Location: California USA
We have been together for 3 years, 2 of which we have been living in a rental apartment together. Currently we split all rent and bills equally. Our current arrangement is good in my opinion. Our relationship is generally great, with pretty normal ups and downs.
We started discussing the future, and both would like marriage and children. I feel ready for marriage but my boyfriend is not currently ready for marriage. I’m willing to wait until I decide I cannot wait anymore.
He has expressed to me that he wants to own a home separately from a spouse. His reasons are because his brother is going through a divorce and having difficulty keeping his home after an unfaithful partner. He also works in a field where he has been exposed to other people’s nasty divorces and petty arrangements.
This arrangement gives me a bad feeling for different reasons including but not limited to:
1) it’s feels like it would be a marriage based on distrust
2) he’d have total control of the property and potentially my living situation
I still am not sure if I accept this idea, however I would like advice on what I should expect in order to secure myself financially. If we do ever get married and I don’t own the property, are there ways I can ensure he can’t just sell the house, decide to move, or kick me out if we have problems?
I am also interested in your personal opinions and experiences with this type of arrangement.
Thank you for your time!