Me and my girlfriend are long distance for one more month and we’ll see each other for the first time after that. I want to be able to talk to her about diverse topics. Basically I want to return a competent response instead of nodding my head or saying yeah. How can I start being more knowledgeable about a lot of disciplines to the point where I can say something atleast? I’m not dumb but I can see where I’m lacking and need to improve so she has a good time.
How can I be a better conversationalist with my girlfriend?
r/AskMen
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Thanks to my daughters bumper book of fart facts, I have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of fart facts. For example, the fart bubbles of blue whales are so massive, you could fit a horse in one.
Some patter there for you lad, good luck.
How come you need to move in her direction of talking on the phone, instead of her moving in your direction of being ok without constant affirmation?
Who decides what is ‘normal’?
So my girl is a yapper, I am not. What I do is, ask her probing questions to let her continue talking.
Me: How was work?
GF: it was good, busy but good
Me: Ah, just tons of tasks? What’d you have to do?
GF: yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap 20 mins later
Me: That’s honestly intense, I’m curious why your boss said that
GF: yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
Me: damn. So you just get stuck doing all of everything pretty much
GF: yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
Actively listening – make sure you are tuned into and actually interested in what she is saying.
Genuine thought – Understand her perspective, and then offer yours. You don’t have to agree but you can present yours POV such as, interesting you think that, I was looking it from this angle. Or something along the lines of- I never thought about it this way , this so good food for thought.
Mutual shared interests, ask her to narrate a show she is watching on tv and tell you about what’s going on in it. And you ask and remember things.
You don’t have to have encyclopedic knowledge to be a good conversationalist. Just let her talk about a topic while you shut up and really listen. When she finishes, ask her a question about something she found interesting or unexpected. Listen and repeat.
I think you’re conflating intellectual conversation with just regular conversation where you “talk about nothing”: Its directionless, it flows naturally, topics range from being insightful to incredibly mundane.
Often times, the best way to be a great conversationalist is to just be curious and ask questions. In other words, let them do the talking but be genuinely interested in what they have to say. This advice doesn’t just apply to conversations with your girlfriend either.