This post is inspired by a post I recently asked.
The way I show I care about someone is trying to converse regularly, giving compliments, trying to show empathy, and showing general interest in them as a person, trying to be engaged in conversation etc…I do this with both male and female friends.
I’ve realized that the root of my issues with being accused of being flirty is simply by approaching men the wrong way.
However, this leaves me at a loss with how to actually be a friend due to my above description of friend behavior. I value all my friends equally whether male or female I just need to learn the right communication skills.
I have been hearing a lot that men are often ignored and don’t receive support, how can I give support in the right way?
Comments
To not come off as flirty, try complementing the work that they do: job, hobbies, crafting, anything with attention to detail.
Many times we just want to hear we did good work.
It sounds like you already know how to make friends, but…
If the guy is attracted to you and you show a lot of interest, he might get the wrong idea. It’s just the way it is. I dated a girl who was very bubbly, and guys would try to flirt with her right in front of me. It made me pretty insecure and jealous sometimes. I never said anything to her, though. It’s a tough situation because i didn’t like it, but I wasn’t going to ask her not to be so nice to other men.
Oftentimes, in platonic relationships between the sexes, one is attracted to the other. I think you can keep doing what you’re doing, but be prepared to have to reject them at some point. You don’t have to stop being who you are just because people get feelings for you or others wrongfully think you are promiscuous or something.
Touching is often misconstrued as flirting, so don’t do that. Guys don’t get touched so when a woman touches us our brains go all 💥 and we misinterpret that.
Show interest, like genuine interest, in them and their lives.
The issue is…some guys find a woman showing genuine interest to that degree a somewhat alien concept at least from a friendship perspective. Some will catch feels over it. Others will take it as it’s meant.
Compliments on what they’re capable of more than appearance might dodge some of that.
Also being direct with guys, like plain spoken not tactless, helps with communication. This might help you dodge issues.
damn a woman who comes here to say something nice instead of bashing men for a change, that’s nice
maybe call out fellow women who have unrealistic standards towards men, like expecting them to be protectors, providers, expecting sacrifices, ..
I think the most important thing to realize is that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. You might be dealing with an extrovert, you might be dealing with an introvert. They might be glad that you ask personal questions, they might be uncomfortable talking about personal stuff. Yes, some men get joy out of purely technical discussions about their nerdy hobby. Some men love to talk about sports, but a sizable part of the male population also doesn’t.
The fact that you are trying to reach out already goes a long way. If you meet them at their level, you’ll be surprised at how quickly men will think of you as their friend.
Men have 2 settings. Either we assume everything means your flirting with us, or we assume the most obvious flirting is just being nice. No matter what you do, theres still a chance it could be taken as a flirt. However, id say continue complimenting your friends, and if it becomes an issue, just make your intentions clear.