What are some great ways to bond with somebody who you’ve been getting to know and understand again? Especially if there’s nervousness and a past friendship. Him M23 and I F23 have been close friends in the past when teens. We use to listen to music together, go on long walks, vent, talk about spooky storys, game together and have things in common we value like traveling, camping, spirituality and close friends/family.
He’s a slow chill kind of happy go lucky guy, a bit insecure and big/chubby but I think he’s cute and I like bigger guys. He’s down to earth, very wholesome, caring, a family kind of guy and fun to talk to. I’m introverted like him, but on the skinny/attractive side, I’m into art, programming, technology, health, and nerdy related things. We’ve been dating/in a relationship (long distance 1hr away) now since around October last year, and before that we last spoke 2yrs ago and we’re speaking 5+ years.
He works fulltime 7-5 while I’m part time. (I had drama with family/no way to contact him for quite some time either.) Back in 2021 he said he had strong feelings and wanted to date me when I was still trying to heal over a toxic partner and wasn’t ready. When we first met up late last year, we kissed, and done some sexual things hand related, but haven’t had sex because I said how we should focus on reforming the bond and he agreed. He means a lot to me and has been there during some of my hardest times.
We share a long past and both struggle with social anxiety and almost everytime we call now, I tend to over speak/mirror his anxiety or mom him a lot to fill in the awkward silence… It makes me so sad. I explained to him how I miss the bond and comfortable feelings we use to have and said he does too. But he’s been too sick (flu) lately to call me when we haven’t called for over a month since I was also on holidays with no internet.
Also now that he’s also had a toxic past partner (she cheated on him in 2022..) we both have a lot to sort through but want to make it work. I’ve noticed now he’s become much more shy and anxious, and I feel the same everytime we try to call or meet up. He barely leaves his house due to his anxiety, so I’m trying to be patient with him but frustrated with how long the emotional connecting is taking to make…
Most days I suffer silently when he doesn’t text for over 4 days or he says he can’t call, I just can’t be confident with him like how I use to be since I’ve fallen for him. Is there anything that would help the nervousness between us to relax? Especially when the both of you struggle to open up to one another?
Comments
Hey there, sounds like you guys got a lot going on. Ngl, but first off I’d say patience is key here. The bond y’all had ain’t lost, it just evolved. Sometimes those old vibes get tangled up with new feels, y’know? Remember to take it easy, don’t force things. Anxiety blows, but trying to tackle it head on, esp. together? That’s powerful stuff! Keep on truckin’ and remember, silent suffering ain’t gonna help ya out long term. Reach out when you need to. You got this! Communication is key! 💪🏼💯