So I (M20) am currently in LDR, we both do love each other but the thing is, I don’t speak, like I don’t think i have anything to speak to continue the conversation, like if She(20F) speaks then we can chat like on call for a while but if she’s silent, I cannot speak, I can’t break the silence, I don’t know what to say, how to say, I don’t have anything on my mind, it is completely blank, also In my daily routine, I go to gym, come home study and all, go to college only this is my routine, also in college I spend my time alone listening to music and studying,
So again, I don’t have much content to speak,
If someone can give some tips, will be helpful.
Thanks
Comments
i mean really you can say anything, it’s a mainly a mental barrier you’re putting yourself in to try and think of “the right thing to say” the more you talk the better you get at it. and if u think you’re uninteresting then be active in the world, you’ll gain more perspective and more things to talk about
You don’t need to have something deep to say to have something to talk about. Tell her how the gym went, even if it’s just yea I had a good workout, tell her how school was, were you listening to new music, tell her about it. Something not clicking when you are studying? Vent about it.
To be interesting, you have to be interested.
If there is a break in conversation, just start spouting out your random thoughts. That’s my strategy lol
First off, relax a bit pal, it’s not a job interview. There are literally millions of things you can talk about so if one thing falls on it’s arse, you can find another. Can be about your day, TV/Film, a book, gym, general goings on and anything else that interests you that might get the conversation going. I will say though, it takes two people to have a conversation and if someone is a wee bit hard work, there’s not a lot of helping that. Good luck.
What shared stuff can you talk about?
My bf lives 2 hrs away so we see each other weekends but vid chat during the week. We talk about gossip, stuff we wanna do when we’re together, our stresses, shared interests. We also will occasionally play games togehter and just have the call on for company even if we aren’t talking too much. Sometimes it’s even “what’s your plan for the rest of the night?” And then we follow-up the next day on how that stuff went. Even if it wasn’t particularly interesting plans.
I think you need to first just not overthink it. She’s your partner and just enjoys your company.
One of the things my partner and I did a lot of at the beginning of our relationship was find lists of questions to ask your significant other to find out more about them. We’d pick questions off these lists and ask them.
You could do the same. Google for some lists of questions and when things go silent, ask her one of those questions. It’ll get her talking if it’s a good question and you’ll learn more about her.
When she tells you something, ask questions about what she told you.
There’s an equation that’s taught by the CIA to teach agents how to be charismatic and keep a conversation going/interesting when working on an asset. It’s called “2 questions and a statement.” Basically, you listen to her, ask 2 follow-up questions about what she told you then make a statement about something that shows you relate to what she just said.
Get a bunch of funny memes or jokes you read on standby if you want to break awkward silence. Discuss what’s happening in the world and how you both view the situation. Mention your hobbies and nerd out about stuff you love to do. If the girl loves you, all that is making you even more loveable
There’s a difference between comfortable silence and uncomfortable. First identify if you’re overthinking this. I’ve been on the phone with gfs while we’re both doing chores or something and not really speaking.
But if it’s uncomfortable and you’re looking for things to talk about just say what’s on your mind. Are you also having zero thoughts while this is happening? Maybe bring up this pressure you feel to speak with her