My parents are both in their late 60s. Location: Ohio, USA. My dad had the flu and was severely dehydrated for a few days. He wasn’t really paying attention and left for work early and got a flat tire. He has a bad knee. He had trouble getting the wheel off and called a truck for help. He later had trouble with his knee and getting up because they were extremely locked up and sore.
My mother lied saying he was incoherent and wandered off randomly then fell and couldn’t get up. Me being a medical professional thought a stroke and told them to go to the ER. She took his phone and didn’t allow him to contact me at all.
He had a CT that didn’t show much of anything. Maybe some age related deterioration. They want him to see a neuro just to be 100% sure. He was cleared to work and drive if he felt fine.
After speaking to him myself, testing his cognition and getting the truth, I realize it’s another plot of my mother to control him. She did the same thing when he had cancer. She tried to prevent him from getting treatment so he would die. He recounted the entire morning to me and the days after. The incident with his knee also. He didn’t get up because she was cussing him out as she always does.
She wants to get POA and revoke his license and take his assets. She wants to prevent him from leaving the house. He is of sound mind. Problem is she’s an abusive narcissist and he does everything she says to avoid conflict. Any way that he or I can prevent the POA? My dad doesn’t want this. He wants to go back to normal life. He wants to work. I’m his only child and relative that can help.
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If he’s a competent adult, he can give, or refuse to give, POA to anyone he wants.
As his wife, though, she is his natural next of kin. Meaning, even without a formal POA document, providers will be looking to her if he becomes incapacitated.
The only way you’d be able to prevent him from giving POA to your mom is to prove he’s incompetent, in need a guardian and try to be appointed the guardian yourself.