If you walk into work one day and see a female coworker who looks like she just came from the salon, do you compliment her? Do you think the same apprehension exists for female coworkers when commenting about how a male coworker looks?
How comfortable are you at work commenting on how a female coworker looks? Do you think the female coworkers have reservations on commenting on how you look?
r/AskMen
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No, because I ain’t tryna get written up by HR.
I generally wouldn’t unless we’ve talked before/friends
I would avoid the sexual harassment bullshit
I would never comment on a female coworker’s looks.
I’ve always given and likewise received compliments.
I wouldnt say anything except in the extreme limited circumstance of a former coworker – I knew her husband, went to her kid’s bday. I would have no issue giving a genuine and respectful compliment.
If you wouldn’t say it to a man, don’t say it to a woman.
If you are confident they know you are not sexualizing them, or coming on to them. I keep compliments simple; that’s a cute dress, your hairs nice, nice shoes. Never had a problem.
If it’s crazy shoes/boots or a hat or a watch yeah. Anything that is on a body contours is a big nope. Maybe a jacket.
i wouldnt recommend that bc it can be taken the wrong way and you could be terminated lol.
what’s the point in complimenting her? zero to gain but a lot to lose
If it’s stuff like a new haircut or something; no reservations at all.
But I would be careful with telling a female coworker that they look hot in general. I’ve done that like twice in my working life.
Speaking as a guy in his 40s who’s had roles in HR, the general advice I give everyone is to never comment on the appearance of others. It’s just not a good practice. It’s fine if it’s done between two very established friends, but beyond that it’s very risky. People go to work, to work. Not to be sized up or physically evaluated.
I work with mostly women. I personally don’t say anything about my coworkers looks. I’m there to make money and not to do anything that could put that in jeopardy, no matter how minuscule.
If she looks different from her “normal” then I’d probably say whatever the thing was looked nice.
Women love it when you say their dress looks nice because it means they can say “it’s got pockets” before plunging their hands in then and doing a half twirl to show them off.
Yeah, I asked him to sit on my lap so I can appreciate them better
I would never comment on how a woman looks in the workplace regardless of the intention just like I would never comment about coworkers spouses at work, it’s really poor form and asking for trouble.
Keep it professional. Nothing that can be construed as bad.
I generally don’t comment on appearances. But if something really moves me like a cool shirt or cool shoes, I’m going to gas them up. That goes for both men and women.
I doubt my female coworkers have reservations on commenting on how I look. I appreciate compliments but also “act like I’ve been there” and keep it pushing or have a convo about where I found such and such or what process I follow to achieve this, that, and the other lol.
I just read the room and don’t do or say weird shit. Nothing to live in fear of.
As a man absolutely not as the line is too thin on interpretation best not to say anything.
I’m a woman, and I would be so uncomfortable if a male coworker complimented me, even if it was really nice.
I go to work to work and treat everyone like coworkers, but if you compliment me now I feel like you’re looking at me “differently” and it’s weird- like I’d prefer my male coworkers to look at me in a neutral way if that makes sense…
I think the only exception would be if I was wearing perfume or lotion and I was told “is that your perfume? It smells nice” or something — because that’s not how I look I guess so I’m not taking it in a weird way…
But I’m also shy, so maybe that’s why I’m so adverse to it 😭
I haven’t given a compliment or made any comment about a colleague’s appearance in the last 15-20 years. Prior to that, it was relatively common.
I work with a lot of women, including my boss and have had several female colleagues lament that they spend time on their hair, clothes, etc. and no one but other women comment. They don’t want romantic/sexual attention, but having someone say “that jacket looks great on you“ or “your hair looks really nice today” etc. IS something some seem to miss.
The idea of giving the most innocuous compliment now is kind of laughable.
I have worked in several female dominated workplaces. I do comment on clothing/appearance because for women it is quite normal to do with one another and it is a good way to build bridges. But you need to prevent yourself from making unwelcome statements and from coming off as indicating your own romantic interest in them.
A couple of rules,
The prettier they are the less likely I am to comment.
The more noticeable the clothing (call it flamboyance), the safer it is to comment.
The more certain you are that the clothing or hairdo is new, the safer it is to comment.
You don’t tell them anything looks hot, sexy, salacious…etc. you use words like nice, bright, wonderful, classy, etc.
Any comment that is accompanied by curiosity (is that new? Where did you get it? Is it comfy?) tends to be more acceptable.
I’m surprised but apparently this is going against the grain – clothes and accessories are generally safe IMO. Maybe it helps that all the women at work know I have a girlfriend and trust I’m not hitting on them. I also get told pretty often that I have a “non-threatening vibe” which I think is a compliment? Having a reason why you’re complimenting that particular thing can make your intentions clear – “I love your jacket it’s such a nice shade of green” is clearly harmless and well-intended.
I would avoid makeup, perfume, and obviously ANY comments on their body, any of those can range between weird and downright inappropriate.
Personally, I limit comments to people I know well and keep it extremely casual.
I think it’s okay to notice someone got a haircut and say it looks nice, but that’s about it. Never anything about clothing, makeup, shoes, etc.
If I do I make sure to let her know I’m alittle fruity with the way I say it
Hell no. I do everything possible to not be alone or make any comments that could be twisted. Seen a lot of good dudes ruined for innocent comments.
In my 23 years of having jobs, I’ve been told commenting on a female’s appearance is sexual harassment. Not can be, but that it IS sexual harassment. Coworker, customer, any of it. There is no chance I complement anyone on appearance.
It depends on the woman and the relationship I have with her. You just have to read the room.
You can comment on things above the shoulder or below the knee, but do so with caution. Anything in-between you must consider extremely carefully how it can be misinterpreted in the worst way possible.
If we’re friendly, sure. Anyone else, never
Unless it was at a work party and she told me I looked nice and wanted to say “you too”, or in the case that she was literally my wife, I would never, ever, in a quadrillion years, compliment a female coworker even if she were the most beautifully bodacious babe to ever grace the planet.
It’s risky, it’s uncomfortable, and unprofessional.
Depends on who. If you’re cool with them no problem. However, it’s nothing creepy, it’s always noticing their new hair do, a dope new hoodie or shoes. Also, i need to point out, the ones i do it with i’m very comfortable with and vice versa. I’m deathly afraid of coming off as a creep. They reciprocated it too, when i trim the beard, new shorts (its a thing because I wear shorts 365), weight loss, etc.
Yes, because I’m not a weirdo.
I’ve commented on hair changes and their nails being done before.
If I’m going to comment on someone’s looks, I’m going to talk about the clothes they’re wearing. Nice shoes, shirt, skirt, earrings. Never more than that. I’m also someone who appreciates looking good, so maybe it doesn’t come off weird.
I think anyone likes a compliment on things they control. Your nails are awesome or your top is cool. Guy or Gal, no one has ever given bad feedback.
Beyond “cool shoes” nope.
You don’t. Looks generally have nothing to do with work, so no reason to bring it up.
It’s not the time or place.
Answer – not at all … because it’s creepy and irrelevant.
Nope. I avoid a lot of this in general. Made a joke one time as a 23 year old right out of college that got interpreted wrong by a woman (nothing happened as far as hr but they told me I was offensive – it was not about looks but they interpreted it that way, I could see how after reflecting but it was not on my mind ).
I avoid comments on looks to everyone even though I get some from women. I try not to work with actual friends either because I don’t want it to get messy – I could see myself doing it then.
There has basically been one male coworker I’ve been comfortable making jokes/talking personal life stuff with. There are former coworkers both men and women I would consider friends now that I may make these comments to.
Someone I know got brought into HR for “sexually harrassing” a girl at work bc he offered to give her chocolate (as he did with anybody else he usually runs into).
People are so scared to be human nowadays. Are we that bad with our social skills that we don’t know when it’s okay to give someone a compliment? Or so isolated that we can only interact in the most corporate drone way possible?
Don’t do it to someone you don’t know. Don’t do it where there’s an obvious power or age imbalance. Don’t make it about a physical feature Do do it in a way that cannot be taken as creepy or as an advance; “Charlie you are wearing the hell out of that suit”, “Mel that’s a great colour on you!”
It should be a passing comment of appreciation and that’s all. I want my people to feel 10 feet tall when they work for me and I cannot understand how terrified everyone is to interact in a way that makes other feel better.
As a guy yes it’s harder as women have more leeway in general in this area but it’s not rocket science to be nice without being creepy.
Let me be 100% honest to the fullest extent of all that is unholy. When it comes to anything with females at work I avoid them at all fucken cost….
I could have my ass grabbed by a female coworker and I still fucken hesitate to walk into HR… somehow they find me the problem.
I’m not kidding. I’ve dealt with some issues in the past of a female coworker and I’ve made boundaries and nothing ever happened.
I refuse to do anything with women and work in the same sentence.
If it’s something she can control, like a new haircut, purse, or shoes, I’ll compliment them on it. People ime enjoy that people notice their new look.
I also received compliments all the time as well, usually over my hair (it’s long af and looks great) or my cologne.
I will never do it.
If they directly ask me on the spot and I have to respond about a new haircut or something I just say “looks cool”
There’s no way in hell I’d comment on their looks beyond saying something like “you look nice” or “nice outfit”, assuming we’re already acquainted.
I don’t say a thing. Who knows how someone will react and possibly make a complaint
I don’t comment on any of my colleague’s looks.
In general, nope.
I have a couple female coworkers who I’m close to that I would feel comfortable giving a “Wow, you look like shit today. What happened?”
All the positive comments about appearance are exclusively for people who nobody would start rumours about us.
If a coworker made an interesting and successful aesthetic choice, I’d be comfortable complimenting it if we had a friendly relationship.
There’s a big difference between saying “cool shoes” and “I like that haircut” and saying “wow, I bet you turn all the boys wild with your hotness.”
Complimenting someone on a choice they have made is always better than for something they just are.
I almost never comment on how people look
No. That can of worms can stay closed.
Only if we’re friends outside of work, and that would mean we would keep in touch even if we didn’t work together. Even then, I’d limit it to complimenting a new haircut, glasses or shoes.