So actually how common is for men to not sleep with any women that offer sex and not sleep around? As women i find those type of guys really attractive
Unfortunately i live in society where they portrayed men as “ horn dogs” that will smash anyone.
How common is it for men to feel that a strong emotional connection is necessary before being intimate, rather than just physical attraction?
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Without wanting to sound like a valentines card, it depends if it’s just sex or “making love”.
To me, I’d prefer building something up a bit before ‘getting down and dirty’. I’ve noticed that women tend to react better if we had something going beforehand.
Men do both. Sometimes it’s just physical. Sometimes they want that emotional connection. Men’s behavior is strongly influenced by their programmed biological need to deliver seed widely.
Depends on the guy and I suspect how much experience he has had with women.
When I was younger it was common to develop feelings extremely quickly with women. This was the case for my entire 20’s.
When I hit my 30’s it more or less stopped. By about 31 (probably between 12-20 partners total at the time) sex and emotional connection became totally detached for me entirely. Sex was just animalist sex, nothing more.
To be clear I have always required physical attraction for sex. That never went away. I suspect the “horn dog” fuck anything guys either really like one night stands or are not physically attractive enough to be overly picky.
Guy attracted to guys here. I feel you. The gay culture is all about instant gratification and shallow sexual encounters. Really hard to find anyone looking to do the emotional heavy lifting.
Most men eventually feel it. Some much sooner than others.
Necessary? I think tbh it is not necessary at all for the logistics. It’s very much ideal. And as another commenter stated, is it fucking or making love?
It’s necessary for me.
I’ve been burned too many times by people who have turned out to be not the sort of person I want to be in a relationship with, but we’ve already had sex. If you reject a woman who likes you, and you’ve already had sex, quite a lot of the time they get WEIRD. sometimes really nasty.
So I dont have sex with anyone until I know they’re right for me.
After a man has had enough casual sex, he starts to realize that won’t make him any happier than he already is. So, he will start to value deeper qualities more than tna.
So, I think your question depends on how much sex a man has had. If he’s had none, he’s going to want to get some for a little while. If he’s already been with say 5-10 women, a lot of time that is enough for him to get the message that casual sex does not equal deep personal fulfillment.
Exceptions exist but, this is most men I know, including myself
Can definitely have great sex without the emotional connection, can be a simple physical act that everyone enjoys
The best sex I’ve had has always involved a deeper emotional connection than physical with the person I was with.
well, I wouldn’t “smash” just because I could.
really, it’s a wild mix of attraction, morals, timing, and personal connection..
There’s a lot of daylight between horn dog and “strong” emotional connection.
Yeah, I personally can’t do hookups. Just can’t do it. It takes a lot for me trust someone. But in a romantic context it takes even more time. I wanna be committed before taking that step.
In my mind sex is never just sex. There’s something else that happens.
That’s the difference of wanting sex and making love.
if a guy can resist temptation and hold out for something meaningful, he deserves a gold star and maybe a cookie!
When sex has the capacity of becoming more. When we wanna wife you, sure we wanna “test the coaster”, but we also wanna “see the track”.
It’s absolutely essential for me … I resent that I feel that way though and figure it’s because of early life emotional trauma around care-taking. Like, I feel like I was brutally raised to think I should never act on physical desire unless I plan to take care of that woman FOR LIFE. I don’t want a wife but it’s made trying to have casual sex a burden.
It’s rare for men to need much of an emotional connection before having sex. An emotional connection comes into play when deciding if you want to start a relationship with her.
It’s a generalisation, but most women will only have sex with someone they would consider a relationship with, whilst men will have sex with a woman knowing full well there’s zero intention of having any contact whatsoever beyond doing the deed.
Oh and had for clarity, let’s not confuse glancing, rapport, laughing, flirting, teasing, chatting, generosity and having great fun with “a strong emotional connection”.
You need to distinguish between relationship and hook ups. Most men do not need an emotional connection for a hook up and looks alone is enough for a guy to want to hook up. In fact, lots of men (myself included) would rather NOT have an emotional connection for a hook up.
For a relationship, looks will start the attraction, but emotional connection confirms the relationship. For most men, we start desire for hook up and relationship on the same ground; that being “she’s hot and I want her”. Where it goes from there is determinant on how that girl makes him feel from an emotional standpoint. The first few hooks may still even be void of emotional connection which ends up growing in time and forms into a relationship.
This is contrasted by how most women are where BOTH emotional connection and physical attraction is often needed for BOTH hook ups and a relationship.
it’s not a cause and effect
id be capable of feeling a strong emotional connection after fucking within 10 minutes of meeting somebody
in that, it would really hurt if the other person felt lesser than over it, too
like, dude, we’re just as much a hoe as you are if we sleep around
shouldn’t it just be a consistent standard?
fucking around isn’t glamorous but i don’t think anyone’s in a position to judge if they’re doing it too
Its simple: no connection, no interest, forget sex by a long shot. Even if it’s an ONS. Simply not worth it from my experience.
It’s called demisexual and I’m one of them. Never had casual sex and never want to. Strip clubs do nothing for me. I turned down quite a few women, especially in college because of it.
Even when I’m dating it takes me longer than the woman which usually makes them feel a bit insecure initially. I explain myself to them and I think they see it as a challenge. Doesn’t matter, can’t do it unless I have strong feelings or you.
Never met another guy in person like this though. No idea how rare it is. Apparently it’s technically on the asexual spectrum.
I can be attracted to women but I’m not interested in sex unless there is an emotional connection I think the wokes call it demisexual ? I call it not being interested in sex unless there is an emotional connection