For most of my life, I was insecure about my looks, considering myself unattractive….until I had an unexpected glow up about a year ago. It literally felt like a romance movie. I went from my fat middle aged ass to a young Johnny Depp overnight, and I did nothing to spark it. It just mysteriously happened.
After being on the receiving end of that type of attraction–the euphoria, intense feelings, dopamine, self confidence, love, etc–it occurred to me that there are people out there who have never experienced this. and it’s a shame to be deprived of it. The glow up ended awhile ago, but I experienced those feelings, which everyone should at least once in their life.
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Brother, there are people that watch nugget porn or fuck goats.
Everyone has a crowd, it just might not be the crowd they want.
For most people? Rare.
For redditors, especially those on askmen? Common
I don’t remember the last time someone was attracted to me, tvh it makes me wanna give up and end it all.
I’ve given up on the fact that someone will be ever attracted to me because that’s never gonna happen. I’ve had a cleft lip since birth and after multiple surgeries, I look better. But still unattractive. This is a fact and I’ve accepted it. Of course there are days when I feel like absolutely shit but oh well can’t do anything about it.
a lot of people experience someone attracted to them but just can’t tell, usually because they lack confidence and assume it’s pity or them misreading something.
On the other hand, what you describe as attraction I identify as attraction but broadly, so when making a new friend and they find me funny and clearly like spending time with me, it’s really stimulating. I’m a woman though, so romantic/sexual attraction is a very different experience for me and not something I want or enjoy unless it’s from a person I’m also interested in. It’s good when it mutual, otherwise it’s tedious.
There are lots of different types of love, attraction and acceptance though. I think it’s great you found it but unfortunate you had to look a certain way to feel it.
Question: how could you go from “young” Johnny Depp from “Middle aged”? Are you Benjamin Buttoning
Meh i was always ignored as a teen took me a few years but i found someone who was attracted to me as i them, however given we are both dense neither of us noticed for like 5 fucking years. For those that feel that they are permenantly overlooked by others, give it time dude theres someone for everyone and its better to be alone to then find it than try and look for it only to come up empty handed. a loveless relationship is a hell of a lot lonlier than being alone.
I believe that for young men in the year 2025 it is more common than ever before
By personal experience, I now really believe that for a man, attitude and self-assurance is 90%, and looks is just a bonus for the girl.
Being cute is their world, we don’t really need that.
No idea.
An aside: The venerable Kenny Mundo said, “to be the object of a woman’s lust is a mighty fate.”
Let’s hear it for our new brother!
PS: everytone gets prettier after their teens
People should understand that looks aren’t all that attracts people.
Women like the man for Aerosmith and he looks like a monster. But I bet you hes had more quality pussy than anyone.
Women like personalities, humor, dedication, manners, drive, ambition, voices, walks, smells, gaze…. there’s so much that people like out of the ordinary.
I dated a woman that was obsessed with my wrists and forearms. She told me that’s what attracted her to me at first. She saw me at the store with a long sleeve dress shirt folded up showing my forearms and she said that did it. I’ve had gorgeous women in college sleep with me mainly because I was funny…
Don’t ever think it’s all about looks!
This is gonna sound weird but I have a friend who got married with a girl who likes to collect rocks like he does. They are not the best looking people lol but they’ve awesome
Is no one going to question the magic glow up and unexplained fall from grace?
Did OP find a fucking monkey paw?
To answer the question: many or most men will not get to see desire and eye watering attraction in the eyes of someone, let alone someone they equally want. It’s sad, but there are many amazing experiences in life most people won’t get. That’s life.
It is quite common for men, especially nowadays. Fact of the matter is that women are very selective in many regards and thus most men are not really attractive to them.
40 yrs gone, 11 of them married, I’m yet to feel like the center of universe for someone. Even if it’s fleeting, a single night of passion… I feel like I’ll make a deal with the devil if it guaranteed this, but i suspect my divine connection is too strong to let that happen. I’m losing hope, but i guess I’ll take this desire, to be desired to my eternal dust.
Pretty uncommon I think. I was never an attractive person, and frankly I’m ugly now but even so I managed to get married and have kids.
I had the reverse happen to me. Had a one year glow up were I could feel all the girls being proactive with me then a big glow down when I started to bald. Night and day. Once you have tasted the attention, you realize how much of a difference being attractive makes.
Very common unfortunately
Studies show that the average woman views the average man as a 3/10.
So pretty common.
I’m not representative of the male population but I have never had anyone be attracted to me. Idk why. I feel like I’m a pretty cool guy.
No idea. Even normal looking men have someone to find them attractive at least once in their lives. I am 100% sure nobody found me attractive.
If men put as much effort into their looks as women did, then more men would experience more outward expression of attraction. Because sure people like to act like you putting extreme amounts of effort into your looks is just “self-care for myself” but any idiot knows you aren’t doing that if the last person on earth. We look good for others. To look attractive is to attract. So you do. And then you are mad that you did when you either don’t attract or attract those you don’t find attractive. It’s all an attraction game. It’s nothing spiritual nor doesn’t tell much about you as a person.
Being attractive for most is what you do, not what you are.
Someone can find you attractive and you just don’t know it
Self love and the feeling of being enough shouldn’t depend on whether others find us attractive
Ugly couples exist so it can’t be very common
Unless you have some kind of physical deformity, I’m going to say next to impossible that no one has ever found you attractive.
Whether or not you noticed or were attracted to them, that’s a different story.
How did the glow up ended for you? You said middle age, how old are you?
I dont know, but I’m one of those men who women are never attracted to and I’ve made my peace with it.
People signal being attracted, do you make eye contact, see body language and read the room? When you’re distracted by your insecurities, it’s hard to notice someone begging you to just look over and smile.
Uncommon, I think. But it’s probably much less uncommon for someone to go through life and never know anyone is attracted to them.
Living through it right now. I’m 43 and for whatever individual reason’s they might have, women have never wanted anything to do with me. Most likely it’s because I’m partially disabled.
Why date/marry/love a broken man when there are so many that aren’t? I have so many good things going for me, if only I could find someone who would see me for me, and not my disability.
For most people it’s probably not very common. For women probably nearly unheard of. For some men it’s a thing.
Perhaps more typical for certain reddit demographics…
Some might say (even in this very thread) that ‘there’s someone for everyone’, but I really have no reason to believe that’s true.