That’s the trick…you don’t..they will stay with you in a form or another, you train yourself to accept what happened, and take positive traits and their good influence with you into the future.
Negative meditation – try to remember why you aren’t together anymore.
All those shit moments they pulled. All those reasons.
The problem with brain is that it makes an image of person as time passes. It’s an image and not that person. That person is something else.
Negative meditation helps with it. It reminds us why we are as we are right now. All those shit moments that person pulled. And why we aren’t together or ever going to be
Occupying my life with other things (friends, hobbies, study life) until I stopped caring. Everything is so much easier when you don’t make it all about one specific person.
(77m) I stopped obsessing about all the good times we had when we were together. I forced myself to concentrate on all the bad times instead.
It was a form of self-imposed mind control, and it worked.
I pushed away all the good memories and let the broken ones come close. Turned out that I’d been hurting myself by ignoring them and in denial that they existed. Once I stopped denying?
Time. I thought my life was over, I cried every day for a year, obsessed for 2. Now I look back and am like, wow that guy was a joke what was a thinking.
Everyone who comes into your life that you’ve ever loved will leaves a mark on you.Some are big ,some small . I will always have a small bond to my first husband because we have a child together .To hate him means I have to hate apart of my son & my grandkids and well they are my whole heart .I don’t think I’ve ever really hated anyone …however moving on from them took some time ..cause you’re mourning a love or friendship that doesn’t exist anymore .However your eye still catches theirs as you pass by.
I buried myself in work for months working the most I ever had. Stopped thinking about her less and less until it stopped. A few months later meant a great girl and been together for two years. Truthfully never thought id move on from her but did with time
After the wallowing, I decided to focus on how the relationship helped me grow, choosing to look back on how I learned from every aspect of the experience. For me, it was first love, & notoriously the most brutal. But I learned how to be intimate, became more self-aware, realized my worth through our relationship, and even now, 45 years later I still carry such fondness and gratitude having known and grown with them.
It took me 100 days. No kidding, I documented it.
It took 100 days of going for walks, exercising, going out and occupying myself to finally get over the loss. But I did, and you can too.
By accepting that love isn’t a trophy you win by clinging tighter—it’s a garden. You can’t force dead flowers to bloom again.
Phase 1:I let myself scream into pillows, binge Eternal Sunshine 12 times, and ate enough ice cream to bankrupt a dairy farm. Grief needs room to breathe.
Phase 2: Deleted their playlist, muted mutual friends’ ‘updates’ about them, and unfollowed their dog on Instagram (yes, the dog). Distance isn’t cruel—it’s triage.
Phase 3: Poured that ache into something that couldn’t leave. Learned guitar, wrote cringe poetry, and ran until my legs forgot how to quit.
The twist?
I didn’t ‘move on’—I outgrew the version of me that thought they were the only plotline. Now their memory feels like a library book I returned: the story mattered, but it’s not mine to reread.
This is after almost 8 years of marriage and kids. I was all in, head over heels in love but she cheated and broke my family. Hardest point of my life.
Realise and embrace the truth that life waits for nobody, and who we want won’t always wants us and can decide to leave. Pick yourself up, improve what needs improvement, learn from the experience, and prepare for the next while you adjust productively to singleness respecting their choice to be apart from you.
I still mourn the relationship i lost. Genuinely, I believe I lost my soul mate, but she didn’t feel the same and I was making both our lives a helluva lot harder than they had to be by trying to maintain a friendship with them.
It’s been five years for me feels like it just happened yesterday.
I have spent the last five years of my life just working till I am drained just to get away from the pain but few months ago everything came crumbling down and I had to finally face my emotions.
I didn’t know the amount of suppressed memories and trauma I had built up within me and one day I finally broke down and decided to get myself into therapy.
My advice would be just to face your feelings and emotions first hand and grieve about the loss in a healthy way. Finding ways to escape from it and ignoring the emotions just hurt you in the long term like what I am facing right now.
My SO, we were engaged them, died during cancer treatments. That was already some years ago, six to be more precise, but I’m still not ready to date. Gone for some dates, but I still just break into tears when I get back home.
But my experience is mine. Not everyone is like me. Very good friends of mine have said that even just knowing there is a support network for talking helps. Hard to establish for this purpose after a break up of course.
Other pieces of advice I’ve seen used are simple: Find a routine at home. It’ll keep the bad thoughts out.
Get out. Even if for a walk.
Think of yourself. Why are you unique? There are always qualities no-one else has. So you are a unique gem.
Be happy it happened be sad that it ended but sometimes it’s not ment to be I recently went through one where I was perfect and because I was perfect it was ended because she didn’t want a relationship but she would act like it it was a whole mess I’m devastated but I’m moving forword talking to people living my life and so should you best of luck eventualy you will feel better
They cheated on me after everything I did for them. I would tell the story but there would be to much that might identify me. It was heartbreaking for about a month until I snapped myself out of it realizing there atleast 1 billion other availabke women on the planet that I could meet.
Going on 5 years, but honestly I just miss something I don’t really want back. Idk about your relationship but mine was incredibly toxic and I was treated really bad for 70% of the relationship. It made me a really insecure and sad person. So I just try to think about all those times now, and it doesn’t really ever make me wanna go back there even though I still think about them all the time. I think when you truly genuinely love someone it never really goes away completely.. I just hope someday I can love someone even more so I can kinda just forget about it eventually.
Comments
Let them do it themselves.
That’s the trick…you don’t..they will stay with you in a form or another, you train yourself to accept what happened, and take positive traits and their good influence with you into the future.
Self care, time and lots of dating.
You just live life knowing they will always have a special place in your heart and tearing up every time you remember them.
Negative meditation – try to remember why you aren’t together anymore.
All those shit moments they pulled. All those reasons.
The problem with brain is that it makes an image of person as time passes. It’s an image and not that person. That person is something else.
Negative meditation helps with it. It reminds us why we are as we are right now. All those shit moments that person pulled. And why we aren’t together or ever going to be
Stopped contacting them
Occupying my life with other things (friends, hobbies, study life) until I stopped caring. Everything is so much easier when you don’t make it all about one specific person.
Distraction.
(77m) I stopped obsessing about all the good times we had when we were together. I forced myself to concentrate on all the bad times instead.
It was a form of self-imposed mind control, and it worked.
I pushed away all the good memories and let the broken ones come close. Turned out that I’d been hurting myself by ignoring them and in denial that they existed. Once I stopped denying?
I was freed to move on.
i found someone who loves me for me
never really moved, just tried to forget. Went on dates, start with gym, worked more…. all the “ME time” stuff
Time. I thought my life was over, I cried every day for a year, obsessed for 2. Now I look back and am like, wow that guy was a joke what was a thinking.
Everyone who comes into your life that you’ve ever loved will leaves a mark on you.Some are big ,some small . I will always have a small bond to my first husband because we have a child together .To hate him means I have to hate apart of my son & my grandkids and well they are my whole heart .I don’t think I’ve ever really hated anyone …however moving on from them took some time ..cause you’re mourning a love or friendship that doesn’t exist anymore .However your eye still catches theirs as you pass by.
I buried myself in work for months working the most I ever had. Stopped thinking about her less and less until it stopped. A few months later meant a great girl and been together for two years. Truthfully never thought id move on from her but did with time
Your mom helped a lot
After the wallowing, I decided to focus on how the relationship helped me grow, choosing to look back on how I learned from every aspect of the experience. For me, it was first love, & notoriously the most brutal. But I learned how to be intimate, became more self-aware, realized my worth through our relationship, and even now, 45 years later I still carry such fondness and gratitude having known and grown with them.
It took me 100 days. No kidding, I documented it.
It took 100 days of going for walks, exercising, going out and occupying myself to finally get over the loss. But I did, and you can too.
understanding that letting them go is choosing to love myself
By accepting that love isn’t a trophy you win by clinging tighter—it’s a garden. You can’t force dead flowers to bloom again.
Phase 1:I let myself scream into pillows, binge Eternal Sunshine 12 times, and ate enough ice cream to bankrupt a dairy farm. Grief needs room to breathe.
Phase 2: Deleted their playlist, muted mutual friends’ ‘updates’ about them, and unfollowed their dog on Instagram (yes, the dog). Distance isn’t cruel—it’s triage.
Phase 3: Poured that ache into something that couldn’t leave. Learned guitar, wrote cringe poetry, and ran until my legs forgot how to quit.
The twist?
I didn’t ‘move on’—I outgrew the version of me that thought they were the only plotline. Now their memory feels like a library book I returned: the story mattered, but it’s not mine to reread.
I focused on myself. Burned the bridge.
School, gym, expanded my friend network.
This is after almost 8 years of marriage and kids. I was all in, head over heels in love but she cheated and broke my family. Hardest point of my life.
Realise and embrace the truth that life waits for nobody, and who we want won’t always wants us and can decide to leave. Pick yourself up, improve what needs improvement, learn from the experience, and prepare for the next while you adjust productively to singleness respecting their choice to be apart from you.
I had no other choice.
I still mourn the relationship i lost. Genuinely, I believe I lost my soul mate, but she didn’t feel the same and I was making both our lives a helluva lot harder than they had to be by trying to maintain a friendship with them.
Fuck long distance man.
Finding another person that makes you not care about those memories with the ex
Remember the good times and bad and wish them well as they also need to move on from you. Time heals
U learn to live with it or die from it !
It’s been five years for me feels like it just happened yesterday.
I have spent the last five years of my life just working till I am drained just to get away from the pain but few months ago everything came crumbling down and I had to finally face my emotions.
I didn’t know the amount of suppressed memories and trauma I had built up within me and one day I finally broke down and decided to get myself into therapy.
My advice would be just to face your feelings and emotions first hand and grieve about the loss in a healthy way. Finding ways to escape from it and ignoring the emotions just hurt you in the long term like what I am facing right now.
No contact. It gave me the space I needed to grow and overtime understood why it would have never worked.
Time.
2 years later i still care about her, but the love is no longer the same as it used to be.
I didn’t. I married her
Understand that they didn’t love me
My SO, we were engaged them, died during cancer treatments. That was already some years ago, six to be more precise, but I’m still not ready to date. Gone for some dates, but I still just break into tears when I get back home.
But my experience is mine. Not everyone is like me. Very good friends of mine have said that even just knowing there is a support network for talking helps. Hard to establish for this purpose after a break up of course.
Other pieces of advice I’ve seen used are simple: Find a routine at home. It’ll keep the bad thoughts out.
Get out. Even if for a walk.
Think of yourself. Why are you unique? There are always qualities no-one else has. So you are a unique gem.
You accept that you’re both separated, and move in with your life not caring. That’s why I did, and it worked pretty well
Be happy it happened be sad that it ended but sometimes it’s not ment to be I recently went through one where I was perfect and because I was perfect it was ended because she didn’t want a relationship but she would act like it it was a whole mess I’m devastated but I’m moving forword talking to people living my life and so should you best of luck eventualy you will feel better
They cheated on me after everything I did for them. I would tell the story but there would be to much that might identify me. It was heartbreaking for about a month until I snapped myself out of it realizing there atleast 1 billion other availabke women on the planet that I could meet.
Going on 5 years, but honestly I just miss something I don’t really want back. Idk about your relationship but mine was incredibly toxic and I was treated really bad for 70% of the relationship. It made me a really insecure and sad person. So I just try to think about all those times now, and it doesn’t really ever make me wanna go back there even though I still think about them all the time. I think when you truly genuinely love someone it never really goes away completely.. I just hope someday I can love someone even more so I can kinda just forget about it eventually.