I try not to assume malice from others, and especially for minor inconveniences, try to remember that the other person could have something really difficult going on.
When it became my responsibility to ensure that I didn’t make my parents upset. It kept me safer and did increase my empathy, for sure. But I grew up to be a very codependent person and had to learn to separate my emotions from others’.
Things can be really shit a lot of the time for most people; life is hard in many ways. At a certain point I realized that you can go through life making everyone’s day better or making it worse and I decided to start trying to make it better, no matter how things were going for me. I don’t always succeed, but at least I try.
I realized I am the center of MY universe, but not THE universe. I consider that people have their own problems, and especially when working in customer service with a difficult person – most people just want to feel heard. Practice active listening. If you’re going to grab yourself some coffee and you’re with somebody or in the office next to someone, ask if they’d like a cup. Just be mindful of your tone when talking to somebody. Idk if these are what you were looking for – but these have helped me.
Taking things less personally and understanding that how people act has more to do with them than it does me. We’re all just lonely, flawed, and wounded, and our wounds are our own to heal.
The more of my own personal wounds I heal, the more room I have to accept everyone as they are.
I got clean. Drugs numbed me for the longest time and before that my hormones had me all kinds of confused about feelings. I was also sexually assaulted and objectified a lot as an adolescent and young adult which made me callous in some ways. Then once I got clean and the fog cleared, I couldn’t help but empathize. I had a long hard road of hell behind me and the ability to relate to people on some levels other people couldn’t. I also humble myself often by remembering I’m no better and no less important than anyone else.
All my family and friends died, I lost all my money then everything I ever owned due to disability and medical debt.
I live in a homeless shelter inside a Mission. So every day I wake up in God’s house. I have 130 people around me who need meals, clothes, showers, medical care, jobs, and housing.
Some days it’s pretty high acuity: a lot of psychosis here, people being Narcan-ed, fights breaking out, people busted for using in the bathrooms, folks at crisis point going for inpatient care, then coming right back bc there’s no budget for their care.
Through everything God is here. We thank Him at mealtimes, invoke Him in emergencies, and always, always ask for the patience to give grace to those around us.
And it works. Being here has destroyed my vanity and pettiness. I don’t care what I look like so long as I’m clean and neat. I serve coffee and roll silverware – only one person here knows about my career as a hotel chef. I do whatever needs to be done in that moment.
This church isn’t even my denomination but no one criticizes me or looks at me funny when I cross myself or silently pray the Rosary. Nobody cares that a woman at Sunday church wears a kippah to honor her Jewish roots and a cross because she’s now Catholic.
I’m not sure exactly what changed me. My circumstances humbled me, that’s for sure. But it took living in the Lord’s house for me to finally understand what’s truly important in this world.
It’s not status or money. It’s not fashion, makeup or jewelry. It’s the Mission staff lobbying for me to have my cat here and a new friend helping me by building a kennel on wheels.
It’s being able to let in a young woman while we’re closed and setting up for night shelter bc she needs emergency pants. It’s our pastor cleaning toilets and staff making sure we have a movie and snacks on a Friday night.
It’s that tiny bit of comfort and hope that we give to the people who need it most. Like me.
I can think of many different things I’ve done to become a kinder human, but this show helped a lot. I cried. I laughed. I realized that everyone is imperfect but we’re all still here on this earth together.
Being considerarate involves acknowledging that other people’s needs and responsibilities are just as important as yours. Bills, families, self care, sleep, fun, support etc.
Inconsiderate behaviors often stem from neglect and habits of victimization or validation seeking. But in reality many people have various hurdles in life and seek solutions and recovery rather than to remain a victim or validation seeker. Inconsideration can appear like main character syndrome.
Comments
Think about how you would want ppl to perceive you or interact with you, if you were in the situation you’re observing.
practice mindfulness
Empathy. I thought about how I would feel if I were on the receiving end of my behaviour.
When life isn’t considerate to you, you learn to be what you need from people. That’s me anyways.
Try to always look at things from other people’s perspectives. And understand that everyone has their own battles that they don’t talk about.
Are you asking because you want to be or are you asking to help someone become more considerate?
Maybe write down all the moments when consideration helped better your situation. And that can help become more aware of why and how.
It started when I worked as a Customer Service Agent for an airline.
I try not to assume malice from others, and especially for minor inconveniences, try to remember that the other person could have something really difficult going on.
treat people the way you want to be treated.
When it became my responsibility to ensure that I didn’t make my parents upset. It kept me safer and did increase my empathy, for sure. But I grew up to be a very codependent person and had to learn to separate my emotions from others’.
Things can be really shit a lot of the time for most people; life is hard in many ways. At a certain point I realized that you can go through life making everyone’s day better or making it worse and I decided to start trying to make it better, no matter how things were going for me. I don’t always succeed, but at least I try.
I realized I am the center of MY universe, but not THE universe. I consider that people have their own problems, and especially when working in customer service with a difficult person – most people just want to feel heard. Practice active listening. If you’re going to grab yourself some coffee and you’re with somebody or in the office next to someone, ask if they’d like a cup. Just be mindful of your tone when talking to somebody. Idk if these are what you were looking for – but these have helped me.
I was abused and did not ever want others to feel what I’d felt.
Taking things less personally and understanding that how people act has more to do with them than it does me. We’re all just lonely, flawed, and wounded, and our wounds are our own to heal.
The more of my own personal wounds I heal, the more room I have to accept everyone as they are.
Desiring not to hurt, but help people. And actively doing so. Anger’s not a good look.
I got clean. Drugs numbed me for the longest time and before that my hormones had me all kinds of confused about feelings. I was also sexually assaulted and objectified a lot as an adolescent and young adult which made me callous in some ways. Then once I got clean and the fog cleared, I couldn’t help but empathize. I had a long hard road of hell behind me and the ability to relate to people on some levels other people couldn’t. I also humble myself often by remembering I’m no better and no less important than anyone else.
All my family and friends died, I lost all my money then everything I ever owned due to disability and medical debt.
I live in a homeless shelter inside a Mission. So every day I wake up in God’s house. I have 130 people around me who need meals, clothes, showers, medical care, jobs, and housing.
Some days it’s pretty high acuity: a lot of psychosis here, people being Narcan-ed, fights breaking out, people busted for using in the bathrooms, folks at crisis point going for inpatient care, then coming right back bc there’s no budget for their care.
Through everything God is here. We thank Him at mealtimes, invoke Him in emergencies, and always, always ask for the patience to give grace to those around us.
And it works. Being here has destroyed my vanity and pettiness. I don’t care what I look like so long as I’m clean and neat. I serve coffee and roll silverware – only one person here knows about my career as a hotel chef. I do whatever needs to be done in that moment.
This church isn’t even my denomination but no one criticizes me or looks at me funny when I cross myself or silently pray the Rosary. Nobody cares that a woman at Sunday church wears a kippah to honor her Jewish roots and a cross because she’s now Catholic.
I’m not sure exactly what changed me. My circumstances humbled me, that’s for sure. But it took living in the Lord’s house for me to finally understand what’s truly important in this world.
It’s not status or money. It’s not fashion, makeup or jewelry. It’s the Mission staff lobbying for me to have my cat here and a new friend helping me by building a kennel on wheels.
It’s being able to let in a young woman while we’re closed and setting up for night shelter bc she needs emergency pants. It’s our pastor cleaning toilets and staff making sure we have a movie and snacks on a Friday night.
It’s that tiny bit of comfort and hope that we give to the people who need it most. Like me.
God bless you all.
[removed]
I watched Ted Lasso.
I can think of many different things I’ve done to become a kinder human, but this show helped a lot. I cried. I laughed. I realized that everyone is imperfect but we’re all still here on this earth together.
Believe!
Feeling after things (sometimes things that aren’t my fault), and losing sleep about it, sometimes days, weeks, and years after the fact.
People typically don’t have bad intentions or want to be annoying on purpose
I just don’t want people to feel the way that I have felt.
Being mistreated by others
Being considerarate involves acknowledging that other people’s needs and responsibilities are just as important as yours. Bills, families, self care, sleep, fun, support etc.
Inconsiderate behaviors often stem from neglect and habits of victimization or validation seeking. But in reality many people have various hurdles in life and seek solutions and recovery rather than to remain a victim or validation seeker. Inconsideration can appear like main character syndrome.
Putting myself in other people’s shoes. But only to a healthy degree.
Partly it was the realisation that I wasn’t overlooked, and people did actually notice when I let them down.
That, and actively trying to imagine how others might feel, taking opportunities to kind and helpful.
Regret is a hard feeling but it serves a purpose as long as we learn from it.
[removed]
Realized how good it feels when someone truly listens, so I started doing the same for others
My friend COMMITTED SUICIDE and I was the LAST PERSON HE CALLED you have to check for your mates
experience and conditions that require it