Ghosted after ~8-9 months of dating, mutual acknowledgment that it was building towards a “serious” relationship. The rawness of the pain is gone now, 6+ months after the fact. But I still struggle on some days to get any work done because confusion occupies my mind: How could someone who shared affectionate, warm and tender moments with me 2-3 days each week for 8 months suddenly treat me like I do not exist in their world? Ghosting feels like an undoing of the past. Has anyone experienced this before? What helped you move on, especially emotionally? When did it stop hurting for you?
To summarize how this happened: he started distancing at some point. When I asked him why directly, he took a while to get back but once he did, he said he felt behind me in life and struggled to catch up with where I am. He said I was more stable, knew myself better, and had more thought-through plans for my life compared to him. He offered that we retry after a break as I was travelling overseas for a few weeks, but ghosted upon my return. The whole exchange took me by surprise as I wasn’t aware that he was comparing our individual paths in his head this way.
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I honestly don’t think I have ever dated anyone that long without getting into a more serious relationship….
Sounds like he was intimidated by you and felt lesser than in some way. I’m sorry about that. I could say a million things to make you feel better but honestly there’s no better healer than time.
You’re projecting what you would have done in this situation. It means you’re caring, considerate and value communication. Someone who would ghost you is a coward, avoidant or just an asshole. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but there’s truly no way or point in trying to understand someone else’s shitty behavior.