I am 34 and still havent really had that hairstyle moment. My hair is medium length, dark. Some days I straighten it, some days I throw it in a messy bun but it never feels like it frames my face or matches my vibe the way I want it to.
For those of you who did find a cut or style that really suits you, how did you figure it out? Was it trial and error, a good stylist or maybe just finally taking the plunge with bangs or a color change? I would love to hear what helped you get from meh to actually loving your hair.
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Finding a celebrity who I had similar face structure and skin color/eye color with helped me a lot.
A good stylist helped me! I feel like she takes the spirits of what I request and cuts according to my face shape. She gave a lot of suggestions in the beginning as well.
She’s super nice and very talkative, and I personally would prefer not having to converse during haircuts, but she has amazing eyes for hairstyling and has given me amazing haircuts, so I’ve been going to her for almost a decade now.
I went back to the bob my mom always insisted I get growing up. Honestly, she knew what worked back then and it still works today. I also bleach my hair monthly to match the white blonde hair I had as a toddler.
I’ve done a lot of trial and error. I had a pixie cut for years that I loved, but I gained weight and it wasn’t as flattering for my new face shape so I grew my hair out. I ended up growing it just below my shoulders before my stylist and I agreed chin length is much better for my hair type.
I have been with the same stylist for quite a few years now. We know each other well and I trust his opinion. He knows my general preferences and overall style and he always keeps those in mind when we switch things up.
Researched a stylist who specialises in the style I wanted and I described the vibe I was going for and explained my feelings with my current haircut and how I wanted my new haircut to feel.
I had a moodboard on my phone with women on Pinterest who kind of look like me and had cool style.
The first stylist I went to was good but not really my thing. The next year I found an alt hairdresser who specialises in low-maintenance “rockstar” hair. I’m not a rockstar but I wanted casual volume and her studio is amazing.
I have very fine thin straight hair so everyone knows the only decent hairstyle for my hair type is a chin-length bob.
By accidentally getting curtain bangs lol. I went for a haircut and thought I was clear saying I prefer longer layers so I can still get all my hair in a ponytail but the stylist made the face framing layers a little too short, they were practically curtain bangs. I wasn’t too mad, I had been researching curtain bangs anyways, but it turns out the shorter face framing layers complimented my face and I wasn’t bothered about hair in my face as much as I thought I would be. Guess I just had to take that leap.
I think for my natural hair it just grew out to a length I liked. I do like longer hair on me but I just wear wigs or braids when I get that urge
I think it’s okay not to be married to one style. I’ve tried a lot of different styles and colours and many of them felt right and me in the moment, as does the one I have currently. But def ask your stylist and look at people you think look like you for what you think works and doesn’t for your features
Try one of those apps where you upload your photo and try different styles? And just don’t be afraid to go shorter. I think a lot of women are stuck to long hair. I love shorter hair. It really draws attention to my face!
My trusted stylist (20+ years working together) and I worked through several things over the years. I’m pretty flexible and was open to her suggestions. Some were great, others I hated. But the landed on what we agree suits my facial structure and my life style
Whenever I am looking to dye my hair, I go on TikTok and use a filter to show me what it would look like, generally. It has saved me from making some very bad decisions.
I’m sure there are plenty of apps out there that show you with different haircuts. They aren’t perfect. obviously, but they do work better than you would think.
Otherwise, stylists are meant for this type of thing. They had to learn about head shapes, they know what styles are ‘in’ right now and what is going to work.
My general experience is 90% of the haircuts I really like are haircuts that won’t work on my head. The ones I don’t like very much, tend to be the ones that are perfect for my head. Wonder why that is.
Mostly from the reactions of people around me.
I have had some periods where I’ve grown my hair out really long. Usually when I cut it shorter (like a mid bob) so many people give me compliments on my hair.
There might be another hairstyle that suits me better that I haven’t tried though.
I asked my hair stylist
There’s a bunch of different online “try on a look” type things where you upload a picture of yourself with your current hair pulled back and then you can “try on” different haircuts or colors and see what works best. Then you can take a screenshot and bring to appt as inspo. Think about what’s important to you. Are you willing to put in a lot of style effort for a cool look? Does it need to be pulled back often for work/life etc? What is the maintenance going to be like (more frequent appts to keep up w hair growth in certain styles)? All good things to think about.
I’ve had frizzy wavy hair my whole life and I (36f) just got my first “curly hair” cut and it completely blew my mind what a good cut and style can do. I made sure to tell her I’m very low maintenance and will not take the time to do a lengthy hair routine so she showed me how to do it using a single product and then technique. I also know I can’t pull off bangs bc I’ve tried lol a curtain bang isn’t so bad and face framing pieces aren’t bad but I can’t go full fringe unfortunately and I don’t like taking the time to style them even though it’s just a few minutes. I didn’t have an inspo picture but I’ve brought those in as well in the past and it helps.
We are also living in the age of celebrities wearing wigs so they can switch up looks and it’ll always look perfect bc the wigs are pre-styled. So it gives false expectations for what natural hair can do/handle.
When I realized my natural hair texture was wavy and not straight, I started to use products that suited my hair better. Then I found a stylist who knew how to work with it, and she helped me figure out a cut that would check all the boxes I wanted. Now my hair feels like it finally “suits” me and I’m very happy with it!
Find someone good to do your hair. I have a guy that has a salon back where I grew up and the only reason I will go back to my hometown is for him to do my hair because I get so many compliments when he does it.
I have a brilliant hairdresser with a good eye for both a person’s style and their face. After covid, I gave him free reign with my long hair, with the caveat my hair couldn’t be cut shorter than just below my ears. My bob cut and I have been very happy ever since.
By getting bad haircuts and suffering until they grew out. Now that I know what DOESN’T look good on me, I can stick with what does.
I feel this! I’ve settled on a French Bob with blunt bangs and I’m loving it (for now). I have super fine, super straight hair, medium density. It was thick (density) in college, so I got used to having a full head of hair that I could play with, even if it’s always been drab. Lost like half of it around Covid and felt like a drowned rat ever since. It doesn’t help that my hairline starts pretty far back, so my hair looks VERY flat and limp and sad when left alone. The bangs help that a lot.
I got to the French Bob my googling my hair type, celebs with my hair type, inspo for my hair type, etc. I had to filter out anyone who clearly had thick hair (most people in inspo pics), anyone who had any wave/curl to their hair, and anyone clearly wearing extensions, because my hair cannot and will not ever do what theirs can. That was a tough pill to swallow. I just had to be honest with myself.
One trick I learned: volume up top will elongate your face, volume on the sides will widen it. As I’ve gotten into my 30s, I’ve lost my sharp 20s jaw a bit (despite not gaining weight?). Making sure my hair doesn’t make a triangle shape has been huge in balancing that out.
By going back to and working with my natural hair texture rather than against it. I have thick, coarse, wavy/curly hair that tends to look messy/wild. I spent many years doing blowouts, followed by straightening into a long, pin-straight style with blunt bangs. During COVID lockdowns, I stopped and went through the trial and error of figuring out my hair. With the help of a stylist that knows curly hair, I figured out a style that works (shoulder length, heavily layered with wavy bangs) and a simple routine that takes a fraction of the time.
Comparing photos of then and now, I never realized how unflattering the straight hair was. It provided a really harsh contrast to my facial features, and literally made my face look like a circle. The messy curls work so much better.
I decided that I want to look like a member from a bad 80’s hard rock band and let it grow long.
For me it was just trial and error and also fighting centuries of dogma around what haircuts suit fat faces and which don’t. That’s all bullshit. Round faces can wear short hair. I essentially have a men’s haircut and this is by far the most flattering haircut I’ve had because of the balance it brings to the top of my head countering the roundness of the rest of my face. I look at the style of people who are maybe somewhat physically similar to me but in the flavor of fashion and presentation that I want to look like. And remember that hair grows back! It’s not the end of the world to get a bad haircut.
Honestly? I’ve always loved my hair because of my natural color. It’s strawberry-blond, but there’s lighter shades and auburn, too. And it changes depending on how much sun I get. It’s poker straight, tailbone length.
People told me. Complete strangers, mostly, cashiers and wait staff who saw my ID or a new haircut would express an opinion about my hairstyle. My friends, family, and coworkers mostly said nothing about any style I tried, but strangers had notes for me. 😂
You gotta be willing to get your hands dirty I guess lol
I did a lot of really extreme things to my hair when I was younger, dying it, I gotta perm, I had a buzzcut, grew it out (that was a wild ride lol)
I went to the ends of the earth trying to figure it out bc I’ve always been very critical and particular about my hair, bordering of OCD fixation lool but I found the sweet spot eventually. For me i leave it natural (I have very straight fine hair) I don’t use a lot of product and I keep it short (cut just before my jawline) so it’s not too weighed down and flat
Ive done a lot of hair care research too for my particular hair needs, everyone’s hair is different so everyone should have their own hair care regimen
I googled face shapes and what hair styles worked best with certain face shapes.
It’s clear I have a very long face, and I always had long straight hair that made my face look even longer. So I googled hair styles that worked best with longer faces, found one I liked and got most of my hair chopped off.
It suits me so much better and you’ll never catch me with long hair ever again.
Honestly, go to the store and try on a bunch of wigs
I somewhat impulsively shaved my head 10 years ago, ended up liking it, and haven’t grown it back out in all this time. It’s super convenient and I still like how I look with a buzzcut, so I guess that’s how I figured it out lol
Lots of bad haircuts.
I have this really fine, low-density, incredibly premature silver hair. It’s also an annoying mix between “Wavy” and “curly” and so what it mostly is is frizzy. It spends most of it’s time in a clip or ponytail, because I can’t bring myself to cut it shorter than the shoulders.
It’s a pretty silver, at least. Dying it was kind of pointless after my mid 30s because I’d have to touch up the roots constantly if I went with my natural color, and while I’m still tempted to try blonde where the silver would be less noticeable, I’ve yet to find a blonde that didn’t fade ugly yellow on me.
Around the time I found a hair routine that at least caps the frizz at a certain point, and gives me some decent weight and volume (as opposed to floaty hair) I found a stylist who is excellent with color and who told me what I had was “hair you don’t have to bleach to color”.
I’ve been rocking this purple and pink balayage for three or four years now, and I have gotten so many compliments on the color, and I stopped worrying so much about the insane frizz.
Ignoring what’s “trendy” and emphasising to the hairdresser I do NOT CARE if it looks old fashioned or uncool or whatever, what I care about is what is most flattering to my face shape and works best with the type of hair I have.
And ironically what works best for me isn’t an actual hairstyle, as in something cut and shaped by a professional. I am a conventionally unattractive person, and on top of that I have a very round face, weak chin and short wide neck. What has worked best for me for literal decades (with some periods of experimentation throughout because I can’t help myself LMAO) is just very long hair, like, down to my butt.
My literal one conventionally beautiful feature IS my hair, it’s LOTR elf princess hair. It’s literally the only physical feature that I’ve ever received positive feedback on from both people that know me and random people.
When I experiment, whether it be with a shorter length or getting bangs or some kind of styling, I never feel as good about it as I do when it’s just Long Hair, lol.