Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.
Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type “!lock” (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won’t be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
People are gonna reply that this is a bad idea and to not shit where you eat, but I know many couples including married people who work together fine. Don’t date people on your same team or people that you manage and set some boundaries, but go for it besides that.
A note of caution though, my ex was a high achiever and part of why we split was because she loved her job/working way more than she loved me. You’ll always be secondary for people who prioritize their career first.
Don’t fuck around. Spend you time in places where people are achievers. Uni if you’re young. Your company if you’re older. Talk to people who work, are serious etc. Get to know their friends. That way you’ll only meet men/women who work and are serious.
I married a great woman who is smart and ambitious. Not embarrassed at all that she makes more than I do. She worked her ass off to get where she is in her career.
My goal for my wife was that she needed to have enough income to support herself and the kids she brought into our marriage. (We married when I was 40.) I dont need her to be a benefit to me but I also wasn’t looking for a financial detriment.
Make sure she has as much to lose in a divorce as you, if not more. Then she has an incentive to at least not treat you like shit in order to get half of your shit. Doesn’t guarantee it, but it makes them think.
Go where educated, professional young women hang out.
It’s all part of the dating process – you need to understand ambitions and motivations. Where they wanna be in 10 years, what professional and career progression they are most eager to pursue.
My awesome woman may not bring in a ton of money but she busts her ass daily. House is always clean, dinner cooked, kids always taken care of, always looking out for my needs. Shit I’ll just come home after a long day of work and there’s a surprise baked goody waiting for me. She’s my best friend and soulmate she could bring in nothing and it wouldn’t matter, money isn’t everything.
I met a wonderful woman and we helped each other achieve our goals before having kids. She always prioritized being self sufficient but I’ve always loved her and often made the kind of sacrifices that society expects her to make. Short answer don’t be a dick and look for women who share your values. Honestly though if you’re worried about money over other more important considerations you should really do some self reflection.
We bought our first home together before we were married. There were two townhomes for sale. She insisted we buy the nicer, more expensive one that stretched our budget to the absolute limit. That home sold much quicker and for a much greater profit than the less expensive one we didn’t buy. We repeated this three times; bought the nicest homes we could barely afford. They all sold for record profits, which have been re-invested. Our net worth and income are at all time highs due solely to selling the homes my wife chose to buy and decorate.
She is an RN. Just had her associates. I encourages her to get her BSN. I took on a larger role while she was in school. Paid more bills. 100% full time child chauffeur and personal chef lol as well as everything else. Laundry, clean, homework, yada yada yada. Then she graduates. Gets a nice healthy pay bump. And few years later she “hates her job but wants to stay in nursing”. I encouraged her to get her nurse practitioners. I resume the roll of 100% caretaker AGAIN. Doesnt bother me. She graduates and now makes almost $200k
This whole time ive been “working from home” and a realtor making $100k-$150k a year. When she graduated she told me to get my brokers license. So i did. Now i own a brokerage. I get MY sales income, i get my splits with my agents, and my wife is happy and makes bank too.
Wasnt easy. Required lots of sacrifice. But now we are solid for the rest of our lives.
Found her at my technical college. Not a lot of women went to the school so I consider myself very lucky. But also as the ladies at my former school used to say “the odds are good, but the goods are odd”.
Met her during our PhD programme (medical, genetics type field) so I guess there was a fair amount of pre-selection there in terms of earnings potential.
Married a woman who shares the values that we both work as a team to contribute to our household. She’s a teacher who became a stay at home mom, where her focus on helping with raising our kids and taking care of lots of the household things let’s me put my energy in to my work. She understands what our budget is and why, and we live within that.
Without her support, I couldn’t handle my unusually high paying job. It’s a team effort and the way I see it, it’s “our” financial success, not “mine”.
She carried us while I was working on my degree and then getting established in my field, so I’m taking my turn supporting us while she’s getting her client base built up. It’s a give and take, where one will carry the load for a stretch of time, with both of us having an eye on the prize.
One of the best things I can suggest is making sure she has a lot of family support/check what her parents are doing. Marrying the girl with Dr parents vs not is a game changer
This is a really weird question. I got a spouse who is financially beneficial to me (makes the same amount) because I wouldn’t have married someone who didn’t. She would have done the same; I’m financially beneficial to her. And no, the exact amount really doesn’t matter (sometimes she pulls in more, sometimes I do.) Just that we’re both mutually contributing to our shared goals and lifestyle.
A good spouse isn’t one who can’t make it without you or stand on her own feet alone. A good spouse is one who certainly could, but things are so much better/easier with you in the picture.
Our marriage is a partnership to make both our lives better. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Maybe that’s why we’ve been together for 20 years while so many around us are divorced now.
Honestly, it all happened pretty much by accident. I met my wife on a dating app, we hit it off, and it just so happened that she was a medical professional. Later, she went back to school, got her master’s, and now she earns nearly twice what I do.
Seeking and filtering personality traits when dating. Leaders and successful people have ambition, a level head, intelligence, maturity, responsibility, open mindedness, etc…
The financial part comes after that. Regardless of industry, some industries are easier than others. My wife is an RN leader in healthcare. She got her position because of those traits. Lots of nurses out there hate their job or can’t keep their cool.
There are other factors too like right place in the right time mixed with hard work and luck.
She was smart and already going to college.
For years I made more than her but now she makes about 50% more than I do.
There was a time when I kind of had to pick between her and someone else… friend/co-worker said… go with the college girl, she’ll make more money. So I did, and he ended up being right.
College girl was also about 3 hours away while the other was in the same area. So it was a long distance relationship for a few years.
Same way a woman does? Be selective about who you date and take into account what their job/career path/financial situation is. It’s not rocket science lol
I’d like to think my wife and I have rubbed off on each other as any successful couple inevitably does. We met in college through Greek life and have been married almost 11 years, together nearly 20 and are financially beneficial to each other.
She is extremely bright, driven, articulate and exceptionally presentable but like many, was unsure how to deploy her business degree. We worked together on this and she finally broke six figures in her early 30s (she’ll be 40 this summer), a huge achievement for a woman of color in corporate America.
As I was doing our taxes earlier this year I realized that in FY24, she out earned me for the first time in two decades and I couldn’t be more proud.
Personally, I wouldnt focus on the financial contribution aspect at all. Just be on the same page as far as how finances are handled. You want to be on the same page with life goals, values, be able to communicate. Things like that. If all of those are compatible, she will benefit you financially in some way. My wife works only a couple hours per week from home amd makes maybe 10-15k per year. That little bit is financially beneficial to me. The fact that she is there to raise our kids instead of paying someone else to do it is financially beneficial to me. She does all of the cooking, cleaning and general household management so I dont have to spend time and brain power on it or hire someone to do it. That is financially beneficial to me. She does 10 or so hours per week of office work for my business so I dont have to pay someone. That is financially beneficial to me.
The point is, I never thought about or sought out someone with the mindset of what would benefit me financially. I looked for the right person for me and finances part took care of itself.
Comments
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.
Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type “!lock” (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won’t be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Date women you work with in your profession.
People are gonna reply that this is a bad idea and to not shit where you eat, but I know many couples including married people who work together fine. Don’t date people on your same team or people that you manage and set some boundaries, but go for it besides that.
A note of caution though, my ex was a high achiever and part of why we split was because she loved her job/working way more than she loved me. You’ll always be secondary for people who prioritize their career first.
Umm when you say you pick someone with a good career?
We met at 17. She seemed as goal driven as I was.
We are 28 now and make 110 & 118 salary with 10% yearly bonus targets
But we did college and everything together. We just were the same in that way
Don’t fuck around. Spend you time in places where people are achievers. Uni if you’re young. Your company if you’re older. Talk to people who work, are serious etc. Get to know their friends. That way you’ll only meet men/women who work and are serious.
I treated her well and she fell in love with me. She didn’t care that she made triple my salary
I married a great woman who is smart and ambitious. Not embarrassed at all that she makes more than I do. She worked her ass off to get where she is in her career.
married a woman who maintained her own household
My goal for my wife was that she needed to have enough income to support herself and the kids she brought into our marriage. (We married when I was 40.) I dont need her to be a benefit to me but I also wasn’t looking for a financial detriment.
Figure out what makes a good spouse and dont miss your opportunity if you meet them.
Dress like you’re the guy they would be looking for.
Marriage is a partnership–physically, emotionally, intellectually, and financially.
I married a smart, self-confident, and wise woman. And the fact that she totally rocked a coral dress with white polka dots was a definite bonus.
For some reason, many guys are intimidated by women like that. Or somehow have their ego bruised by being married to someone accomplished.
Not me. Some years I have outearned her, some years she has outearned me. But we’re always about shared goals, communication, and adoring one another.
You should find yourself one of those. They’re the best.
Wifey is a small business owner with amazing work . Beautiful personality and authentic communicative skills get her endless referrals
Make sure she has as much to lose in a divorce as you, if not more. Then she has an incentive to at least not treat you like shit in order to get half of your shit. Doesn’t guarantee it, but it makes them think.
Go where educated, professional young women hang out.
Easy — you ask if the person you are dating 1) has a college degree that’s worth something and 2) has career aspirations.
In my case, I persuaded the person I was dating to attend Miami University with me. Afterward, I helped them find a job that they liked.
We’re both earners.
Both met in dental school.
27m here how much important is this concept?
My 5 year relationship partner made good money. My recent fling wasn’t doing too well with work, but a great person.
What’s the flag ?
It’s all part of the dating process – you need to understand ambitions and motivations. Where they wanna be in 10 years, what professional and career progression they are most eager to pursue.
I’m going with dumb luck
My awesome woman may not bring in a ton of money but she busts her ass daily. House is always clean, dinner cooked, kids always taken care of, always looking out for my needs. Shit I’ll just come home after a long day of work and there’s a surprise baked goody waiting for me. She’s my best friend and soulmate she could bring in nothing and it wouldn’t matter, money isn’t everything.
I met a wonderful woman and we helped each other achieve our goals before having kids. She always prioritized being self sufficient but I’ve always loved her and often made the kind of sacrifices that society expects her to make. Short answer don’t be a dick and look for women who share your values. Honestly though if you’re worried about money over other more important considerations you should really do some self reflection.
We bought our first home together before we were married. There were two townhomes for sale. She insisted we buy the nicer, more expensive one that stretched our budget to the absolute limit. That home sold much quicker and for a much greater profit than the less expensive one we didn’t buy. We repeated this three times; bought the nicest homes we could barely afford. They all sold for record profits, which have been re-invested. Our net worth and income are at all time highs due solely to selling the homes my wife chose to buy and decorate.
I just found someone who is independent and has the same work ethic as me.
She is an RN. Just had her associates. I encourages her to get her BSN. I took on a larger role while she was in school. Paid more bills. 100% full time child chauffeur and personal chef lol as well as everything else. Laundry, clean, homework, yada yada yada. Then she graduates. Gets a nice healthy pay bump. And few years later she “hates her job but wants to stay in nursing”. I encouraged her to get her nurse practitioners. I resume the roll of 100% caretaker AGAIN. Doesnt bother me. She graduates and now makes almost $200k
This whole time ive been “working from home” and a realtor making $100k-$150k a year. When she graduated she told me to get my brokers license. So i did. Now i own a brokerage. I get MY sales income, i get my splits with my agents, and my wife is happy and makes bank too.
Wasnt easy. Required lots of sacrifice. But now we are solid for the rest of our lives.
Visit the local care home
Stuck around through thick and thin. Also I’m a good fuck.
Found her at my technical college. Not a lot of women went to the school so I consider myself very lucky. But also as the ladies at my former school used to say “the odds are good, but the goods are odd”.
I’m not married yet, but will be in the next 2 years as I’m getting engaged next month.
You should look for a woman who’s in the same league as you financially, someone who makes the same amount of money as you, estate wise as well.
There’s a Chinese phrase ‘Be with your own kind of people.’ Maybe you should do that.
Have skillsets that compliment hers. Be good with kids and a house hubby for when she’s off on CEO’ing
Went to a top us university, met her there.
Met her during our PhD programme (medical, genetics type field) so I guess there was a fair amount of pre-selection there in terms of earnings potential.
I married a man who had his shit together instead of someone who kept putting off getting their real estate licence while living at home.
I ended up marring the first woman I dated with a career. It was a huge reason I pursued her in the first place.
Married a woman who shares the values that we both work as a team to contribute to our household. She’s a teacher who became a stay at home mom, where her focus on helping with raising our kids and taking care of lots of the household things let’s me put my energy in to my work. She understands what our budget is and why, and we live within that.
Without her support, I couldn’t handle my unusually high paying job. It’s a team effort and the way I see it, it’s “our” financial success, not “mine”.
go for university educated women.
She’s the business bitch that’s how
Let her pick my profile from plenty of fish.
Don’t be a bum and gold digger
She carried us while I was working on my degree and then getting established in my field, so I’m taking my turn supporting us while she’s getting her client base built up. It’s a give and take, where one will carry the load for a stretch of time, with both of us having an eye on the prize.
How do you mean? I married a woman with a career. You can’t swing a cat without hitting em.
I guess I did the exact opposite of what you are suggesting.
My wife was a 4th year Big Law associate when we met and was earning about 1.5x what I was.
Now she is a stay at home mom.
One of the best things I can suggest is making sure she has a lot of family support/check what her parents are doing. Marrying the girl with Dr parents vs not is a game changer
This is a really weird question. I got a spouse who is financially beneficial to me (makes the same amount) because I wouldn’t have married someone who didn’t. She would have done the same; I’m financially beneficial to her. And no, the exact amount really doesn’t matter (sometimes she pulls in more, sometimes I do.) Just that we’re both mutually contributing to our shared goals and lifestyle.
A good spouse isn’t one who can’t make it without you or stand on her own feet alone. A good spouse is one who certainly could, but things are so much better/easier with you in the picture.
Our marriage is a partnership to make both our lives better. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Maybe that’s why we’ve been together for 20 years while so many around us are divorced now.
Wow all the women I dated were broke and in debt including my now wife, but when I was young I didn’t care about money.
Honestly, it all happened pretty much by accident. I met my wife on a dating app, we hit it off, and it just so happened that she was a medical professional. Later, she went back to school, got her master’s, and now she earns nearly twice what I do.
Seeking and filtering personality traits when dating. Leaders and successful people have ambition, a level head, intelligence, maturity, responsibility, open mindedness, etc…
The financial part comes after that. Regardless of industry, some industries are easier than others. My wife is an RN leader in healthcare. She got her position because of those traits. Lots of nurses out there hate their job or can’t keep their cool.
There are other factors too like right place in the right time mixed with hard work and luck.
She was smart and already going to college.
For years I made more than her but now she makes about 50% more than I do.
There was a time when I kind of had to pick between her and someone else… friend/co-worker said… go with the college girl, she’ll make more money. So I did, and he ended up being right.
College girl was also about 3 hours away while the other was in the same area. So it was a long distance relationship for a few years.
I married a woman who worked hard. Didn’t have time for me when she was pushing her career. We would schedule dates etc.
I supported her when she started her business. Now 10 years later she makes 3x what I do and is running a bit of an empire.
Same way a woman does? Be selective about who you date and take into account what their job/career path/financial situation is. It’s not rocket science lol
I’d like to think my wife and I have rubbed off on each other as any successful couple inevitably does. We met in college through Greek life and have been married almost 11 years, together nearly 20 and are financially beneficial to each other.
She is extremely bright, driven, articulate and exceptionally presentable but like many, was unsure how to deploy her business degree. We worked together on this and she finally broke six figures in her early 30s (she’ll be 40 this summer), a huge achievement for a woman of color in corporate America.
As I was doing our taxes earlier this year I realized that in FY24, she out earned me for the first time in two decades and I couldn’t be more proud.
This feels like a post designed to bash women. (Because of “for women it’s easy”.)
Personally, I wouldnt focus on the financial contribution aspect at all. Just be on the same page as far as how finances are handled. You want to be on the same page with life goals, values, be able to communicate. Things like that. If all of those are compatible, she will benefit you financially in some way. My wife works only a couple hours per week from home amd makes maybe 10-15k per year. That little bit is financially beneficial to me. The fact that she is there to raise our kids instead of paying someone else to do it is financially beneficial to me. She does all of the cooking, cleaning and general household management so I dont have to spend time and brain power on it or hire someone to do it. That is financially beneficial to me. She does 10 or so hours per week of office work for my business so I dont have to pay someone. That is financially beneficial to me.
The point is, I never thought about or sought out someone with the mindset of what would benefit me financially. I looked for the right person for me and finances part took care of itself.
You don’t. You become financially self sufficient. If your spouse works, it’s a bonus rather than a necessity.