Felt like we were roommates, she kept crossing boundaries i placed and deemed me as “controlling”. Also i paid for everything (rent, food, stuff she wanted, and the cat the SHE WANTED). I never felt appreciated ever. Funny thing is she was the one that broke up with me, and i was totally fine with it.
Last relationship before my current: He accused me of faking sick to get out of spending time with him. When I sent him a picture of myself with the positive covid test I’d just taken, he told me to come over and be sick at his place. I didn’t want to drive across town, I just wanted to sleep and be sick in my own damn bed rather than around someone who had really begun to annoy and anger me.
With my ex: I realized I didn’t want to tell him anything that happened to me anymore because the risk of a bad reaction was just too high. I basically had become a passive listener.
When you’re afraid to even share personal things because the person will make you feel bad for them, that’s a pretty dire sign.
I was sick to my stomach when I had to see him. He wasn’t even a bad guy, we’ve been together for almost 3 years, but suddenly my gut told me that wasn’t the right guy for me.. I hurt him a lot.
She hung up on me over a joke, I had previously expressed concern over hanging up instead of speaking about the matter that bothered or created a negative reaction.
When you are not happy any more, when you are actually struggling to maintain a normal relationship. When you keep justifying to yourself why things are not good right now. These all made me realize it was not worth it to continue like that
When he asked to come over to MY apartment to watch a TV show on Disney+…I thought he meant WITH me…then when he got here proceeded to put the show on and told me to go do whatever I usually do when I get done with work and I wouldn’t be interested in his show.
i went to see a movie with my brother and had a great time goofin around. after the movie, i felt i was walking to the gallows. the sharp contrast between joy and dread really put into focus how unhappy i was, and i couldnt go another day.
My last ex had BPD. She got pregnant due to carelessness on both our parts about a week into us being official. We were together for 7 weeks in total. Initially she was completely adamant that she wanted an abortion, which I of course respected (and agreed with, we’re both 22 and in our final year of university). She did a complete 180 on this a few weeks later, and went full psychotic on me in the process. I had to be hospitalised for a nervous breakdown. Which she then said I was an attention seeker and used that to manipulate her. I broke up with her then. Tried to reconnect a week later as I still had no idea if she was going to keep the kids or not — I tried to be as loving and supportive as possible, while also telling her that she was unstable and the things she had said to me were vile. I ended that message by saying “I will try to support you wherever and whenever possible, and with your consent of course”. She took parts of that message, sent them to our mutual friends, called me insane, inferred I was an alcoholic, then messaged my roommate saying I was threatening and coercing her into getting an abortion. I said the absolute opposite. I said if she decided to have the kids, I would commit 100% to them and her (while also saying that doesn’t mean we should be together). So, yeah, round about the insanity mark was when I decided to cut my relationship off.
Probably like others, I was overlooking red flags.
She quit her job and was making no effort to find another. Lived with her parents for the whole year and a half. I wasn’t allowed to have female friends but she had a guy friend then one day she had the gall to face time him while riding in MY car. And she was causing my bank account to go empty. Broke up with her and that night met a 10/10 on bumble that was an amazing girl
Whenever we’d get into any disagreement and talked it out her feelings were always valid but when I tried to speak on mine I was always wrong and shouldn’t feel the way I felt.
She was never in the wrong and she never admitted to doing wrong even if it really was her fault.
I was getting tired of things and a bit worn down trying to keep it going. Went for Chinese and opened a fortune cookie….”with enough time and pressure, even an iron rod can be worn down to a needle” and that solidified it like a sign. Had a few good ones from that place and a buddy went and got a few good ones too. It created a saying between us….”when all else fails, get a fortune cookie”.
For me, it is when the other person and I kept going around the same issue over and over again. Well, we aren’t dating but we were interested with each other, but he was more interested in dating me while I just wanted to be friends for the time being. Basically, when you are having mental breakdowns. He isn’t a bad person but he was gaslighting me into dating him. So yeah… Sad I lost a friend but it was the best for us.
We lived an hour away from each other, so it was a bit of an effort to go to each other’s homes. At some point, thinking about the journey, or plan to do something central wasn’t worth it to me any more. I got more joy being alone, or hanging out with friends who lived near by.
When not having the relationship felt more appealing than staying in it. In other words, when the combined good and bad parts of the relationship came out to be less positive than the combined good and bad parts of separation.
She basically cheated so I talked to her about it, and she ended up gaslighting me into thinking it’s ‘normal behaviour’ between friends and that my reaction to her actions was the problem, and I somehow ended up apologizing to her at the end of our conversation.
It occurred to me that he didn’t really know me. He did not care to get to know me. If you were to ask him what my favorite bands or movies are, I am positive he would not be able to answer the question. Our relationship always revolved around what he wanted to do, what he wanted to watch, and just him overall. This was one of many things I began to resent about him.
I wouldn’t call him a bad person, but he was definitely self-centered.
When how I acted in the relationship bled into my daily life and started walking on eggshells with everyone. Also feeling “weightless” the second she left to go on a month long vacation with her family
The cheating didn’t hurt anymore. I felt indifferent. I knew that I would be heartbroken if I stayed or left. So I left, and I was broken over it. It took years to heal from,
someone else caught my attention. i was young and kinda confused but i always had morals. figured im not into that person and didnt want to string them along.
couple years later i met the person who grabbed my attention, now we are engaged & have been together for 5 years
I didn’t end it but after about a month I realized it was 100% for the best because he started to make me feel really bad about myself almost anytime we saw each other in person
When he was late going out with his friends because he was helping me clean my sick dog’s vomit off the floor during my lunch break at work and said, “Why doesn’t the dog just die?” All the love and respect I had for him immediately evaporated into thin air that moment.
When I tried to kill myself because I didn’t want to go home and see him. Then when I left the hospital and came home a few days later, he asked why the dishes weren’t done.
As cheesy as it sounds, but sex is the best indicator of healthy relationship. If you notice that your partner (i mean both genders) regularly is not in the mood, ask questions.
So many times I knew but it took years to walk away. Kept hoping he would be the guy I fell in love with again. Took someone saying stop living in the past to realise that I was.
Not ending a relationship, but when I realized dwelling on unrequited love was harming the person I cared about it changed me. Had to be willing to let them go for both our sakes.
When all my clothes were in the front yard and the locks had been changed. I realized right then that I was being disrespected and it was time to move on.
When he blamed me for his cheating, he then admitted his family hated me even though I tried really hard with them even buying them Christmas gifts. It really hurt but I was done.
When I found a naked man with my (ex)girlfriend in our bed.
Or when my father-in-law threw me out of MY house, because we had discussed his staying in the house…and my girlfriend supported him.
When my opinions were weaponized against me.
When any idea that is contradicting her means you’re calling her wrong.
When you can’t voice how you feel without it becoming about her.
When your oldest tells you he sees how mom treats you.
It started slowly. Not bothering to defend myself against the constant attacks, to the point he even kept calling me out for not being bothered anymore because I wouldn’t argue back and just apologised. Then I started to realise that I just felt on eggshells around him constantly cause you never knew how he was going to react to anything. The final nail in the coffin is when I realised he reminded me of the chaos and pain of my childhood and all I was doing was just retriggering myself over and over. Finally believed that life would be better without him. 3 years later I was very correct and have made strides in my healing
My ex had three days off of work and on the first day, I had gotten home and she was wrapped in a blanket watching reruns of Law and Order. I made us dinner and we ate and watched TV and it was fine.
Second day, came home to the same thing and a sink full of dishes from the day before. No issues on my end. I made us dinner and we went about the same routine.
Third day, came home to her in blankets still watching law and order. Garbage was full and there were two days worth of dishes in the sink now. So I changed the garbage, and started doing the dishes so I could make us food since she had eaten the left overs for lunch each day.
I still don’t really understand it, but she started going off like “you don’t need to make me feel like a lazy piece of shit as soon as you get home!” Followed by lots of getting yelled at for keeping the place clean and wanting to eat food when I got home.
That’s when I started feel like nothing I could do would be right and felt uncomfortable in my own house. So I started looking for ways to spend more time at work or just avoiding my house all together. Realized that was no way to live and that I needed to get out
This was a friendship, not a romantic relationship.
But my best friend ditched me on plans to go on a cruise together. A family member had died a few months previously, and I really needed a little distraction.
Relationship did not end right then, but I should have known then…
When her mother called asking if I have seen her in the past week. I tried calling her, she went awol. About a month later discovered she relapsed on heroin and lied when we met about she was living in a certain place for a month after college when it was actually drug rehab she got sent to. Odd because she was as WASP as one could be in American society. Never saw it coming.
When he started hitting me. We constantly argued and he couldn’t control me so I think he was frustrated. After the second time I started planning to leave. This was the early 90s and I was in my early 20s.
Sometimes he’s a mean jerk.. and by some times I mean atleast twice a day.. I can’t leave him fully yet as we have a baby together but I’m slowly moving in on my heart and I’m open to finding someone new.. it’s sad and my heart breaks because i love him so. But I need a giver like myself what can ya do.
When you spend a lot of time thinking about how life would be if you weren’t together. Not just kind of day dreaming, but getting quite detailed. Where would I live? What’s my budget for being on my own? Who can I stay with if we break up until I’m back on my feet?
Also, when the reasons to stay are a fear of starting over. That’s a sunk cost fallacy and not a reason to be with someone.
When she started doing things that her mom did to her, to me. At the beginning of the relationship, she said “if I ever start turning into my mom, run”. So she did, and I left
Asked my partner to please have their parent move out of our matrimonial home, and to stop working every weekend so we could be a family since we have a 2 year old child.
After years of trying talk about it and being stonewalled or the receiver of tantrums, it came to separating and selling the home.
Another tantrum happened and I said “You know I’ve been unhappy for a long time, I’m not being treated fairly and honestly more like a nanny than a partner – What did you think was going to happen ?”
They answered – “I thought you were just going to accept it”.
After that (even though the separation papers were already signed), I knew there was no going back. They clearly didn’t care about my happiness at all. Just wanted to live their life how they want, and have me take care/run the house and watch our child alone every weekend, while dealing with no privacy and an intrusive mother in the house.
I became afraid of telling her my true feelings and desires out of fear she’d react badly, and then I realized I’d been faking who I really was for years because I’d stopped being myself so she didn’t get upset.
In my past relationships I always find myself avoiding spending time with them. I’m like woah. That’s not normal. I’ll catch myself, well I gotta get going, need to run some errands on the way home. I find isolation to be a safer option. It’s never due to a catastrophic event. These are great women. I’ve tried weathering the storm. It’s always me losing interest. Not sure why. But it’s the avoidance when I realize I’m not feeling it.
Multiple mutual friends asked me if I was bothered that she was getting really close with another friend. When I was truly willing to admit to myself that I didn’t care, I knew it was time to move on.
It became super clear that we were only together because we knew how big of a life change divorce would be, but holy shit was it worth it.
For me it’s time right now but I’m really struggling with it. Just had our 10 year.
But I just don’t like him as a person anymore. Even if I love him, I don’t like him. I get happy whenever he leaves the house. I can’t tell if I feel so much more alive when I’m on business trips because I love traveling to new countries or if it’s because I’m away from him
I would stop at the gas station on the way home from work and grab two tall beers. I’d pull up into the driveway and just sit in my truck and drink the beer before going inside.
Once inside, it was like walking on eggshells. Constant nagging. Anything that came out of my mouth was idiotic. She would accuse me of cheating. The list goes on.
I deployed for 10 months, saw some terrible things over there. Came home, she wouldn’t come pick me up. I had to get a cab.
I contemplated suicide. I was totally dead inside from my deployment. I’ll never forget, I was laying in bed, staring at my shotgun up against the wall. Basically thinking about how easy it would be. She walks in before her shift at the hospital, takes one look at me and says, “you’re not going to kill yourself, right?” I said, “I don’t know.” She proceeds to slam the door and leave.
About two weeks after my return, I find out she’d been sleeping with her scuba instructor and was on every dating app imaginable. She said that she had the apps because she wanted friends and didn’t know they were for dating.
Needless to say, I kicked her ass out. She’d been living there rent free for 4 years. Never contributed a thing with the exception of destroying my mental health.
I’m happily married now and am doing okay. Getting away from her was a very good thing for me.
When I realized that staying was costing me my peace more than leaving would. The emotional disconnect, repeated patterns, and feeling like I was shrinking myself just to make it work all started to feel too heavy. It wasn’t one big dramatic moment it was more like a slow build-up of clarity. I realized I deserved a relationship where I didn’t have to constantly explain my worth. That was my sign.
When I realized that she could not hear me when I told her what I needed to move forward. She was dead set in her belief that I needed to do what she wanted me to do and there simply was no negotiation. She was willing to wait until I came around, but not willing to do anything I asked to help me get there.
I expected to work a job and help support the kids my SO wanted far more than me, I also insisted he participated in raising the kids and had to spend time with them because there was no way any marriage of mine was going to be spent with me doing 99% of the labor on kids. It was a mutual breakup.
He ended up marrying someone else 6 months later (I don’t think he cheated I think he just wanted to start a family fast). About 5ish years into his marriage he has 2 kids, 3 jobs, and basically only gets to sleep when he gets home. He regretted not wanting what I did.
I was so tired all the time, felt incredibly lonely being with her.
The truth is we both tried our best in that relationship. But I realized our love languages were completely different and it was never going to improve. That was incredibly difficult to accept because we both cared for one another.
We’re both moving our stuff out tomorrow back to our parent’s place.
When HR told him in private they were giving him 3 months to sit at his desk or even at home and look for jobs on payroll, just don’t say you’re getting fired to anyone, then he told everyone he was getting fired and then he DID get fired immediately after that. He fucked himself out of a good deal like usual so I quit
When the police came to tell me “sir, we need to have a serious conversation. The gas lines to your house were clearly sabotaged – the plumbers putty on all of the fittings is fresh and has not dried because your (estranged) partner loosened all of the fittings with the gas on, while you were asleep inside. His prints were all over them. We believe he wanted to blow the house up with you inside. We are treating this as an attempted murder now and your entire home is now a crime scene and you cannot go inside. We are evacuating all of your neighbors as well.”
Pretty much that. Never spoke again until the legal proceedings
As I turned the corner on my street and first saw our house about half a mile in the distance, I would unconsciously lift my foot off the gas pedal.
There wasn’t any kids on the street playing, squirrels crossing, or pot holes. I was simply grasping at the last few moments of peace I had before entering the house and starting a challenging 3-4 hour interaction with mismanaged emotions and unrealistic expectations.
Then, I realized I had been lifting that foot every time I turned that corner. 1 month later, I walked in and pulled the plug. It was a challenging 3-4 days, but it was the last of these segments.
His friends inadvertently revealed he had been lying to me the whole time while we were all on vacation together. I laughed along with the joke so his friends didn’t figure it out but looked at him and saw his face crack as he realized what just happened.
Ex from 2018: He questioned my intelligence for wanting a double date with my then best friend and her boyfriend whilst he didn’t know them :’). He didn’t ‘feel like getting to know them’
When I confronted my partner for cheating so they moved everything on me and snatched my phone to look through it. They said I’m 0probably the one cheating then saw the messages with my ex and said “I bet your still dating him! I bet you know I’d confront you and told him to argue back when you end the relationship!” In which I responded “Dude that was a year ago! How would I know that you’d accuse me of cheating BEFORE we got together?” In which she said I probably hacked the messenger system.. like bitch are you delusional?
She told me I “resented her coping mechanisms” for begging her in tears to stop driving drunk. Then she told me she didn’t have enough money to come visit for Christmas (we were long distance and had last seen each other in October and everything was so, so, so good,) forbade me from coming to her instead, and immediately turned around and bought tickets to like 7 concerts instead.
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When I realized I was spending more time justifying the relationship to others than actually enjoying it with my partner. Red flag.
She cheated on me with her ex and got pregnant. Then apologized and asked if she could move in anyway.
When she was pushing things in the relationship incredibly fast & was hyper focused on the roadmap she seemed to have set out.
Felt like we were roommates, she kept crossing boundaries i placed and deemed me as “controlling”. Also i paid for everything (rent, food, stuff she wanted, and the cat the SHE WANTED). I never felt appreciated ever. Funny thing is she was the one that broke up with me, and i was totally fine with it.
When he became a cocaine addict
Last relationship before my current: He accused me of faking sick to get out of spending time with him. When I sent him a picture of myself with the positive covid test I’d just taken, he told me to come over and be sick at his place. I didn’t want to drive across town, I just wanted to sleep and be sick in my own damn bed rather than around someone who had really begun to annoy and anger me.
When they stop genuinely smiling while they’re with you and the joy they feel, feels forced it’s time to let them go.
With my ex: I realized I didn’t want to tell him anything that happened to me anymore because the risk of a bad reaction was just too high. I basically had become a passive listener.
When you’re afraid to even share personal things because the person will make you feel bad for them, that’s a pretty dire sign.
10 yrs of no sex and the pandemic was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I was sick to my stomach when I had to see him. He wasn’t even a bad guy, we’ve been together for almost 3 years, but suddenly my gut told me that wasn’t the right guy for me.. I hurt him a lot.
He had been emotionally abusive and controlling all the time we were together. I left the first time he hit me.
She planned out how to kill my entire family and the next relationship she cheated on me and had proof.
When she put a gun against my head and pulled the hammer back when I told her I couldn’t deal with her temper anymore.
When we looked into the immigration system
She hung up on me over a joke, I had previously expressed concern over hanging up instead of speaking about the matter that bothered or created a negative reaction.
When you are not happy any more, when you are actually struggling to maintain a normal relationship. When you keep justifying to yourself why things are not good right now. These all made me realize it was not worth it to continue like that
When they make you more miserable, than happy.
He stopped wanting to hold my hand. He sighed when I called. He withdrew.
When he stopped communicating with me and wouldn’t get help w his depression. I still love him to this day
When I was asking this question to friends or googling the question
When he asked to come over to MY apartment to watch a TV show on Disney+…I thought he meant WITH me…then when he got here proceeded to put the show on and told me to go do whatever I usually do when I get done with work and I wouldn’t be interested in his show.
i went to see a movie with my brother and had a great time goofin around. after the movie, i felt i was walking to the gallows. the sharp contrast between joy and dread really put into focus how unhappy i was, and i couldnt go another day.
My last ex had BPD. She got pregnant due to carelessness on both our parts about a week into us being official. We were together for 7 weeks in total. Initially she was completely adamant that she wanted an abortion, which I of course respected (and agreed with, we’re both 22 and in our final year of university). She did a complete 180 on this a few weeks later, and went full psychotic on me in the process. I had to be hospitalised for a nervous breakdown. Which she then said I was an attention seeker and used that to manipulate her. I broke up with her then. Tried to reconnect a week later as I still had no idea if she was going to keep the kids or not — I tried to be as loving and supportive as possible, while also telling her that she was unstable and the things she had said to me were vile. I ended that message by saying “I will try to support you wherever and whenever possible, and with your consent of course”. She took parts of that message, sent them to our mutual friends, called me insane, inferred I was an alcoholic, then messaged my roommate saying I was threatening and coercing her into getting an abortion. I said the absolute opposite. I said if she decided to have the kids, I would commit 100% to them and her (while also saying that doesn’t mean we should be together). So, yeah, round about the insanity mark was when I decided to cut my relationship off.
Probably like others, I was overlooking red flags.
She quit her job and was making no effort to find another. Lived with her parents for the whole year and a half. I wasn’t allowed to have female friends but she had a guy friend then one day she had the gall to face time him while riding in MY car. And she was causing my bank account to go empty. Broke up with her and that night met a 10/10 on bumble that was an amazing girl
Whenever we’d get into any disagreement and talked it out her feelings were always valid but when I tried to speak on mine I was always wrong and shouldn’t feel the way I felt.
She was never in the wrong and she never admitted to doing wrong even if it really was her fault.
I was getting tired of things and a bit worn down trying to keep it going. Went for Chinese and opened a fortune cookie….”with enough time and pressure, even an iron rod can be worn down to a needle” and that solidified it like a sign. Had a few good ones from that place and a buddy went and got a few good ones too. It created a saying between us….”when all else fails, get a fortune cookie”.
He wanted to get married and I didn’t.
For me, it is when the other person and I kept going around the same issue over and over again. Well, we aren’t dating but we were interested with each other, but he was more interested in dating me while I just wanted to be friends for the time being. Basically, when you are having mental breakdowns. He isn’t a bad person but he was gaslighting me into dating him. So yeah… Sad I lost a friend but it was the best for us.
When he made a joke about getting rid of me (not in a murdery way, but in an I’m saying it sarcastically but I could tell it had underlying truth)
When I stopped missing him.
We lived an hour away from each other, so it was a bit of an effort to go to each other’s homes. At some point, thinking about the journey, or plan to do something central wasn’t worth it to me any more. I got more joy being alone, or hanging out with friends who lived near by.
I was the one to break it off.
I no longer wanted to spend time with them. When I did spend time with them I was thinking about not being with them.
When not having the relationship felt more appealing than staying in it. In other words, when the combined good and bad parts of the relationship came out to be less positive than the combined good and bad parts of separation.
When I heard myself talking about it and realized if I were my friend listening I would tell me to end it. 🙁
When I realized he just didn’t want me around anymore. And that he didn’t think of me as his person or accept me for just being me.
I dreaded spending time with him, didn’t want to kiss him anymore.
She basically cheated so I talked to her about it, and she ended up gaslighting me into thinking it’s ‘normal behaviour’ between friends and that my reaction to her actions was the problem, and I somehow ended up apologizing to her at the end of our conversation.
When all five of our kids said I really needed to divorce her. It’s a long sordid story. I did divorce her.
Every single thing I did and said would set her off. Her temper was terrifying. I felt like my very existence bothered her.
It occurred to me that he didn’t really know me. He did not care to get to know me. If you were to ask him what my favorite bands or movies are, I am positive he would not be able to answer the question. Our relationship always revolved around what he wanted to do, what he wanted to watch, and just him overall. This was one of many things I began to resent about him.
I wouldn’t call him a bad person, but he was definitely self-centered.
When how I acted in the relationship bled into my daily life and started walking on eggshells with everyone. Also feeling “weightless” the second she left to go on a month long vacation with her family
When i realised the girl i pursued for 4 months was not the person I assumed her to be. My fault there
The cheating didn’t hurt anymore. I felt indifferent. I knew that I would be heartbroken if I stayed or left. So I left, and I was broken over it. It took years to heal from,
someone else caught my attention. i was young and kinda confused but i always had morals. figured im not into that person and didnt want to string them along.
couple years later i met the person who grabbed my attention, now we are engaged & have been together for 5 years
When he cried and got his tears on me i just felt annoyed
I didn’t end it but after about a month I realized it was 100% for the best because he started to make me feel really bad about myself almost anytime we saw each other in person
When he was late going out with his friends because he was helping me clean my sick dog’s vomit off the floor during my lunch break at work and said, “Why doesn’t the dog just die?” All the love and respect I had for him immediately evaporated into thin air that moment.
I asked if she was done and she said yes. She had never said that before, so that was my answer.
Things had been hinging on his promises for change for months with little action and continued lies. Then, he started ghosting me.
When i realized how miserable I was and that we couldn’t stand each when it was just us.
When I tried to kill myself because I didn’t want to go home and see him. Then when I left the hospital and came home a few days later, he asked why the dishes weren’t done.
Then.
When his scent made me nauseous and I dreaded going home.
As cheesy as it sounds, but sex is the best indicator of healthy relationship. If you notice that your partner (i mean both genders) regularly is not in the mood, ask questions.
When my ex’s drinking got so out of control, I suggested he go to AA.
His response? “I have a PhD, I’m above AA”
I broke up with him a day later.
I was ridiculously easily seduced by someone else and realised how unhappy I was.
I noticed that in my notes it was all letters about how bad he made me feel and like only 2 love ones
So many times I knew but it took years to walk away. Kept hoping he would be the guy I fell in love with again. Took someone saying stop living in the past to realise that I was.
When you are expecting too much about your relationship.
Not ending a relationship, but when I realized dwelling on unrequited love was harming the person I cared about it changed me. Had to be willing to let them go for both our sakes.
When you start ask yourself about it.
When all my clothes were in the front yard and the locks had been changed. I realized right then that I was being disrespected and it was time to move on.
We only saw each other once a week for about an hour or two. And I wasn’t excited to see him. I knew it was coming to an end
When he caused me to miss my Grandads funeral.
When I realized she criticized me more than uplifted me.
When she found out all her friends wanted to see so I showed them
Felt so much better when the other person wasn’t around
My wife died.
When them being near me made me physically ill
When he blamed me for his cheating, he then admitted his family hated me even though I tried really hard with them even buying them Christmas gifts. It really hurt but I was done.
When I found a naked man with my (ex)girlfriend in our bed.
Or when my father-in-law threw me out of MY house, because we had discussed his staying in the house…and my girlfriend supported him.
When my opinions were weaponized against me.
When any idea that is contradicting her means you’re calling her wrong.
When you can’t voice how you feel without it becoming about her.
When your oldest tells you he sees how mom treats you.
I knew years before I was able to get away 😞🤕🩸
When she cheated
It started slowly. Not bothering to defend myself against the constant attacks, to the point he even kept calling me out for not being bothered anymore because I wouldn’t argue back and just apologised. Then I started to realise that I just felt on eggshells around him constantly cause you never knew how he was going to react to anything. The final nail in the coffin is when I realised he reminded me of the chaos and pain of my childhood and all I was doing was just retriggering myself over and over. Finally believed that life would be better without him. 3 years later I was very correct and have made strides in my healing
When I was away on holiday with my family and got a text from him and my first thought was “oh ffs what now?”
My ex had three days off of work and on the first day, I had gotten home and she was wrapped in a blanket watching reruns of Law and Order. I made us dinner and we ate and watched TV and it was fine.
Second day, came home to the same thing and a sink full of dishes from the day before. No issues on my end. I made us dinner and we went about the same routine.
Third day, came home to her in blankets still watching law and order. Garbage was full and there were two days worth of dishes in the sink now. So I changed the garbage, and started doing the dishes so I could make us food since she had eaten the left overs for lunch each day.
I still don’t really understand it, but she started going off like “you don’t need to make me feel like a lazy piece of shit as soon as you get home!” Followed by lots of getting yelled at for keeping the place clean and wanting to eat food when I got home.
That’s when I started feel like nothing I could do would be right and felt uncomfortable in my own house. So I started looking for ways to spend more time at work or just avoiding my house all together. Realized that was no way to live and that I needed to get out
When he threw a coffee table at me.
This was a friendship, not a romantic relationship.
But my best friend ditched me on plans to go on a cruise together. A family member had died a few months previously, and I really needed a little distraction.
Relationship did not end right then, but I should have known then…
When her mother called asking if I have seen her in the past week. I tried calling her, she went awol. About a month later discovered she relapsed on heroin and lied when we met about she was living in a certain place for a month after college when it was actually drug rehab she got sent to. Odd because she was as WASP as one could be in American society. Never saw it coming.
When he started hitting me. We constantly argued and he couldn’t control me so I think he was frustrated. After the second time I started planning to leave. This was the early 90s and I was in my early 20s.
When I wanted to hit him back.
When talking to them felt like an obligation rather than a pleasure
When I realized I was in a relationship.
Sometimes he’s a mean jerk.. and by some times I mean atleast twice a day.. I can’t leave him fully yet as we have a baby together but I’m slowly moving in on my heart and I’m open to finding someone new.. it’s sad and my heart breaks because i love him so. But I need a giver like myself what can ya do.
When she was killed by a drunk driver.
She stopped to suck d that’s a biggg red flag
When you spend a lot of time thinking about how life would be if you weren’t together. Not just kind of day dreaming, but getting quite detailed. Where would I live? What’s my budget for being on my own? Who can I stay with if we break up until I’m back on my feet?
Also, when the reasons to stay are a fear of starting over. That’s a sunk cost fallacy and not a reason to be with someone.
When she started doing things that her mom did to her, to me. At the beginning of the relationship, she said “if I ever start turning into my mom, run”. So she did, and I left
When she was going through my phone when i slept 🙁
Asked my partner to please have their parent move out of our matrimonial home, and to stop working every weekend so we could be a family since we have a 2 year old child.
After years of trying talk about it and being stonewalled or the receiver of tantrums, it came to separating and selling the home.
Another tantrum happened and I said “You know I’ve been unhappy for a long time, I’m not being treated fairly and honestly more like a nanny than a partner – What did you think was going to happen ?”
They answered – “I thought you were just going to accept it”.
After that (even though the separation papers were already signed), I knew there was no going back. They clearly didn’t care about my happiness at all. Just wanted to live their life how they want, and have me take care/run the house and watch our child alone every weekend, while dealing with no privacy and an intrusive mother in the house.
I became afraid of telling her my true feelings and desires out of fear she’d react badly, and then I realized I’d been faking who I really was for years because I’d stopped being myself so she didn’t get upset.
When you fantasize about being alone and it being much better and happier than your current situation
ldr witha big age gap
In my past relationships I always find myself avoiding spending time with them. I’m like woah. That’s not normal. I’ll catch myself, well I gotta get going, need to run some errands on the way home. I find isolation to be a safer option. It’s never due to a catastrophic event. These are great women. I’ve tried weathering the storm. It’s always me losing interest. Not sure why. But it’s the avoidance when I realize I’m not feeling it.
Multiple mutual friends asked me if I was bothered that she was getting really close with another friend. When I was truly willing to admit to myself that I didn’t care, I knew it was time to move on.
It became super clear that we were only together because we knew how big of a life change divorce would be, but holy shit was it worth it.
For me it’s time right now but I’m really struggling with it. Just had our 10 year.
But I just don’t like him as a person anymore. Even if I love him, I don’t like him. I get happy whenever he leaves the house. I can’t tell if I feel so much more alive when I’m on business trips because I love traveling to new countries or if it’s because I’m away from him
I dreaded going home
When I realized he wouldn’t do the things I did for him.
When he told me he wants to get married and start a family, and I thought: oh, no…
When I would have a panic attack before I would see him 😕
I would stop at the gas station on the way home from work and grab two tall beers. I’d pull up into the driveway and just sit in my truck and drink the beer before going inside.
Once inside, it was like walking on eggshells. Constant nagging. Anything that came out of my mouth was idiotic. She would accuse me of cheating. The list goes on.
I deployed for 10 months, saw some terrible things over there. Came home, she wouldn’t come pick me up. I had to get a cab.
I contemplated suicide. I was totally dead inside from my deployment. I’ll never forget, I was laying in bed, staring at my shotgun up against the wall. Basically thinking about how easy it would be. She walks in before her shift at the hospital, takes one look at me and says, “you’re not going to kill yourself, right?” I said, “I don’t know.” She proceeds to slam the door and leave.
About two weeks after my return, I find out she’d been sleeping with her scuba instructor and was on every dating app imaginable. She said that she had the apps because she wanted friends and didn’t know they were for dating.
Needless to say, I kicked her ass out. She’d been living there rent free for 4 years. Never contributed a thing with the exception of destroying my mental health.
I’m happily married now and am doing okay. Getting away from her was a very good thing for me.
I didn’t like how I was behaving towards my ex and towards myself. Continuing to be with her meant becoming someone I was not proud to be.
When I realized I no longer trusted them to keep me safe or care for the ones I loved.
When being around them gave me more anxiety than it did happiness and ease.
When I realized that staying was costing me my peace more than leaving would. The emotional disconnect, repeated patterns, and feeling like I was shrinking myself just to make it work all started to feel too heavy. It wasn’t one big dramatic moment it was more like a slow build-up of clarity. I realized I deserved a relationship where I didn’t have to constantly explain my worth. That was my sign.
She told me it was over. In retrospect, I should have seen it coming when she really cooled off over the last week and half before
He went to prison.
When I realized that she could not hear me when I told her what I needed to move forward. She was dead set in her belief that I needed to do what she wanted me to do and there simply was no negotiation. She was willing to wait until I came around, but not willing to do anything I asked to help me get there.
I caught him having sex with another guy
I expected to work a job and help support the kids my SO wanted far more than me, I also insisted he participated in raising the kids and had to spend time with them because there was no way any marriage of mine was going to be spent with me doing 99% of the labor on kids. It was a mutual breakup.
He ended up marrying someone else 6 months later (I don’t think he cheated I think he just wanted to start a family fast). About 5ish years into his marriage he has 2 kids, 3 jobs, and basically only gets to sleep when he gets home. He regretted not wanting what I did.
When he called me “useless” for forgetting to hang up his jacket.
And when I started looking at other men.
My girlfriend told me
Watch this video by a comedian. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2syrkrm/
I was so tired all the time, felt incredibly lonely being with her.
The truth is we both tried our best in that relationship. But I realized our love languages were completely different and it was never going to improve. That was incredibly difficult to accept because we both cared for one another.
We’re both moving our stuff out tomorrow back to our parent’s place.
She told me.
When you have to ask yourself.
When they told me “I won’t cheat on you that much.”
he did something unforgivable. 👋🏼 byebye
When HR told him in private they were giving him 3 months to sit at his desk or even at home and look for jobs on payroll, just don’t say you’re getting fired to anyone, then he told everyone he was getting fired and then he DID get fired immediately after that. He fucked himself out of a good deal like usual so I quit
When the police came to tell me “sir, we need to have a serious conversation. The gas lines to your house were clearly sabotaged – the plumbers putty on all of the fittings is fresh and has not dried because your (estranged) partner loosened all of the fittings with the gas on, while you were asleep inside. His prints were all over them. We believe he wanted to blow the house up with you inside. We are treating this as an attempted murder now and your entire home is now a crime scene and you cannot go inside. We are evacuating all of your neighbors as well.”
Pretty much that. Never spoke again until the legal proceedings
As I turned the corner on my street and first saw our house about half a mile in the distance, I would unconsciously lift my foot off the gas pedal.
There wasn’t any kids on the street playing, squirrels crossing, or pot holes. I was simply grasping at the last few moments of peace I had before entering the house and starting a challenging 3-4 hour interaction with mismanaged emotions and unrealistic expectations.
Then, I realized I had been lifting that foot every time I turned that corner. 1 month later, I walked in and pulled the plug. It was a challenging 3-4 days, but it was the last of these segments.
His friends inadvertently revealed he had been lying to me the whole time while we were all on vacation together. I laughed along with the joke so his friends didn’t figure it out but looked at him and saw his face crack as he realized what just happened.
We were living like housemates and I didn’t miss him when he was away.
Her last words were something about how she will chop my dick off.
I remember kicking her out like the very same minute lol
Disrespect. Lie. No accountability of actions.
Ex from 2018: He questioned my intelligence for wanting a double date with my then best friend and her boyfriend whilst he didn’t know them :’). He didn’t ‘feel like getting to know them’
When I couldn’t think of one way my life wouldn’t be better alone.
When the ick just would not go away.
When they didn’t help me through a miscarriage and they didn’t care that I lost our baby at all.
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, but I finally left after that.
When I realised I wanted to live…😅
When I confronted my partner for cheating so they moved everything on me and snatched my phone to look through it. They said I’m 0probably the one cheating then saw the messages with my ex and said “I bet your still dating him! I bet you know I’d confront you and told him to argue back when you end the relationship!” In which I responded “Dude that was a year ago! How would I know that you’d accuse me of cheating BEFORE we got together?” In which she said I probably hacked the messenger system.. like bitch are you delusional?
The sex was blah and the general juice was not worth the squeeze.
Which of my relationships are you talking about? The one who cheated or the one who was free loading me the whole time.
Edit: I sure know how to pick ’em 🥲
When she cheated a second time I decided it wasn’t an accident it was a habit.
When I had a pregnancy scare and his jokes about “fixing it” by pushing me down the stairs didn’t feel like jokes anymore.
She told me I “resented her coping mechanisms” for begging her in tears to stop driving drunk. Then she told me she didn’t have enough money to come visit for Christmas (we were long distance and had last seen each other in October and everything was so, so, so good,) forbade me from coming to her instead, and immediately turned around and bought tickets to like 7 concerts instead.
I’m not into necro so it had to physically end that day but in my heart and soul it’s a different story