How did you do it?
I spent most of the past, almost, 17 years focused on raising my child, being with my husband (both of whom i adore) working hard at progressing my career, and moving all around the country which has been great. But not conducive to forming friendships. My husband and I have tons of fun together but I want those girlie/feminine, silly, fun friendships too.
2 years ago i started a mental health journey and finally got treatment for childhood trauma and started SSRIs whoch has essentially eradicated my crippling social anxiety. I also have more time with my close to 17 year old son being more focused on his friends (understandably).
Now, im ready for friends. Weve bought a house and settled down in one place. I have one very close friend I made at work a few years back whom has become like a sister to me, however she lives 5 hours away because I moved. I want local friends (couple friends or individuals) people I can hang out with, do fun things, laugh, support eachother (drop everything and help if they need something), and just enjoy their company.
I’m 37. I work from home full time (and have a great job, so changing jobs isn’t an option). I have simultaneously been on a big weight loss journey and am really eager to try tons of new things I didn’t participate in in the past (and things I may not have ever thought of).
Where have you made friends as an adult?
My teen organises his own hang-outs with friends via his phone so there’s no need for interaction with the parents of the other kids…. which was always how I made friends when he was little.
Would love any and all suggestions, especially “outside the box”. I feel like most people have those firm formed friendships as t this age and it can be so hard to find your “people”. Also there’s the challenge of us having been quite young parents, and so many of our peers our age have young families and are in the thick of being 100% focused on their kids needs and activities (understandibly). While we are edging into “empty nester” lifestyle years.
My interests are: outdoors (beach, nature, bushwalks), animals (obsessed), I like sewing, some craft/art (but not great at it), not into video games at all. I really love outdoors stuff but am not an adrenaline junkie nor super crazy fit. I enjoy camping and going out for meals, reading, would love to learn to dance (husband and i are thinking about joining a beginners salsa class).
P.s if, by chance you’re in the same boat and randomly live in Australia around 1hr North of Sydney…. let me know 😉
Comments
I’ve met friends through group-fitness classes. There are also some running and hiking groups near me that meet up regularly – as well as knitting circles and fiber art groups – which I’d imaging would be good places to connect.
In my 30s though, I find regularly scheduled activities that attract a consistent group of people is the best way to make friends.
Roller derby mostly.
I moved to Sydney in my late 30ies for work, I joined a bunch of Facebook and meet up groups specifically for women looking to make friends, I joined a few hiking groups and met friends through those groups, as well as social groups (I met my Aussie best mate when she posted looking for friends to go to an event in the Hunter with)
Volunteering is also a great way to meet people, I volunteered in Greyhound rescue just outside Sydney and met lots of lovely people and had a lovely time with the doggos (and adopted one of course ❤️)
I find so many people make lifelong friends from college, but I never went to a traditional university. I only kept one friend from HS but we live in different states now. Over the years I’ve had friends from working together but that would fizzle out once I got a new job in a quest to keep moving up. Same with roommates and moving out. Most recently I was in a long term relationship for 4 years and really didn’t have any friends but my partner. When we broke up I moved to a new state to start fresh knowing no one…
Fast forward to now, two years later I’m in my 30’s and have a ton of friends, some in other states but a great group locally and we hang out a few times a month, travel together for leisure or related events (below), concerts, cafe + craft sessions, meals, birthdays, etc.
I literally met them all online through a niche hobby community (crafting related, I can give more info if necessary!). We are all 30’s/40’s and I often find it wild how if I didn’t stumble across a hobby online I would probably have zero friends right now. The hobby has become such a huge part of my life (I’m teaching a workshop at an event next month, and just got back from an event a week ago!). I’m so grateful for how this happened and evolved and I really think hobbies, online or offline, are one of the best and only ways to make friends as an adult!
I have a few other friends from other ways too, like the gym, neighbors, and even one friend I met at a Taylor swift museum by complimenting her outfit, realized we were both going to a separate artists concert the next month and I was going alone so she invited me to join her and her friend. Now we have done lots of concerts and things together. But even that is in a way, hobby/interest related! Get involved on or offline with your hobbies and interests as much as possible and friends will follow 🙂 don’t shy away from online friends because that’s who all of my friends are besides the one story I just told – we just decided to meet and take it offline and it grew from there!
Honestly I think it would be cool if this women over 30 group had some planned meetups in various locations. So many women here express wanting to make friends. Some may think that sounds crazy, but most of us ARE genuinely just normal ass people with families and jobs and lives and want some friends!
Sorry this was so long lol!