For those who are aware of the reason why you lost attraction to their partners I am curious to know what’s the reason behind it.
How did you realise you were actually not attracted to your (ex)partner?
r/AskWomen
For those who are aware of the reason why you lost attraction to their partners I am curious to know what’s the reason behind it.
Comments
He wasn’t a partner, but I ended things with my last FwB because he smokes. Everything fucking smelled like smoke when he visited me, even if he didn’t smoke that day because I asked him not to.
I will never have a partner again who smokes.
A shame, because he was a really great guy aside from the smoking.
Was with a FwB, we’d normally go to his house for sex, he started getting REALLY into weed, would get high for days on end, slowly as time went on everything about him just got gross
His skin got nastier
His smell was horrid
His teeth got gross
His hair was greasy 24/7 even after showering
He got super lazy in bed and just in general
Eventually I was blunt (No pun intended) With him and told him that I was done being his FwB because the weed made him a much worse person.
When he disrespected me it was game over.
He was disrespectful and unapologetic. No amount of heart to hearts, crying, and depression made him consider my feelings. It was all about him and how he felt and what he was doing. He wanted our lives to only be about him and I was just to spread my legs when he felt like giving me attention. You can imagine the first thing I pulled away when I lost attraction.
Disrespect. Ignorance. Inconsiderateness. Such a huge turnoff.
It started slowly… One day, he didn’t smell the way he used to. Suddenly I hated it. My body started to reject him – frequent breakouts, constantly exhausted after hanging out with him, muscle aches. Then, he would turn to spoon me and my skin would crawl from the feeling of his breath on the back of my neck. When he touched sensitive parts of me, it hurt. I started wearing baggier clothes and stopped wearing makeup. Then I was depressed but like EXTRA depressed. He would say the meanest things and I’d try to defend myself, but that always felt so like. Useless.
Finally, I just couldn’t get my gal going anymore. Not with him, not on my own, not at all. I started to wonder if I was asexual. It took WAY too long for me to realise that I just didn’t actually like him. I fought so hard for that relationship, but now that I look back at it I can see how all the signs were so blatantly obvious. Of course I wasn’t attracted to him. We’d met on a dating app and I had only swiped right accidentally. To my friends, before things got serious, he was titled “Grim Guy”. (Because the state of him was so. Yikes.)
Anyways, that relationship lasted 2 years longer than it ever should have.
Lack of sexual activity even though we were together a lot and in private
He became apathetic. Couldn’t hold an interesting conversation and no sense of humour.
Was asleep very early every evening around 6 pm and complained after 9 hours of sleep he was still tired. I felt drained being around him.
He’s not a bad person, but he’s not my person
Sometimes you just stop feeling it less connection, no spark, more like roommates than partners.
It was a slow burn. I saw him saying he would do something or set a goal and then actively do nothing towards it. After happening multiple times I stopped seeing him as a person of his word. When we broke up I would have still said I was attracted to him I. Some level, but his actions post breakup burned down any remaining physical or emotional interest I had in him. The bright side is a used respect as my barometer for if I wanted to keep seeing someone after that. Instead of asking is this guy attractive or fun, I asked do I respect him. If the answer was no, there are no great abs, or fun jokes that will make it worth either of our time (even as a hookup).
There were multiple reasons why, we wanted different things in life (he wanted kids, i wanted to go to college), i started to get annoyed about the things i liked abt him before, and the moment i realised i didn’t like him anymore was when we haven’t had sex in months, he was away for the weekend and that weekend was the happiest i felt in months. When he texted me he’d be home in an hr my stomach dropped again. Broke up not long after that.
Like others have said, when I started to realise he didn’t care about how I felt or how his actions affected me.
He started treating me like shit and he became ugly real fast. He isn’t the most attractive man, but he had moments where he’d make me feel special and that made him so hot to me. After the kindness disappeared, so did his beauty. Attraction soon hit an iceberg harder than the Titanic after that, lol.
Verbally abusive and lazy. He wouldn’t take steps to better himself, the words not matching his actions.
I realised i would rather be alone and happy than be with someone and feel so alone.
I broke up with him after at least a year of feeling like we were never resolving problems together and moved cities.
He begged for me to return but when I stayed in my old house with him for one night, he hadn’t done a single thing in preparation, no food, nothing, even the bed sheets were dirty. His friends came around, as usual he made no effort to talk things through.
I realised suddenly that I’d been living with an immature, sloppy boy who prioritised his friends, not the sexy man who love bombed me 5 years earlier.
I’d been so enamoured that it took distance and a return for the switch to finally click in my brain and he became instantly unattractive.