When our house burned down and the ambulance took my father to the hospital. I was standing in next to our house with a couple of firefighters and police officers and I had to make decisions and sign papers about everything.
That was the moment when I realised buying alcohol and cigarettes and have a job is not the real sign of being grown up.
When I got upset that they changed the layout in the grocery store and heard songs I grew up listening to on the oldies station (specifically, the Offspring)
When after years of refusing to watch WWE or Star Trek, I finally gave both a chance and loved them both. Also, just being open to trying new things and experiences, instead of just playing it safe to the routine every time. I told my husband yesterday (and many times before that) that the 18 year old me that he first met would be shocked at how much I’ve changed as a person
Looking back and thinking completely different about the people and situation, getting better at just accepting things for what they are, (still a long way but) accepting my body more/caring less about looks, understanding the effects of socialization more, caring less about consumerism (still a long way), understanding that life can’t be 1000% super duper exciting every day, learning that I can only change my life myself
I started valuing time more than I valued opinions. Like at first, I was all about getting validation but then I caught myself ignoring the noise and focusing on things that actually mattered.
when i figured out that there isn’t an end stage of growing up that you just arrive at one day, there will always be new things to learn and new ways to improve yourself and behavior. the idea that there is a final, most ‘grown up’ form to achieve is an immature idea, it’s a misconceived fallacy
When I stopped being defensive or easily offended and irritated by things and just went with the flow. There are so few things in life that merit serious upset and you have a lot more peace when you let things go and stay positive
I don’t want to “debate” and argue anymore. It just isn’t worth getting worked up over and a) I don’t know what I’m talking about most of the time and b) neither does whoever I’m talking to.
It also makes me sad to see people living as though they don’t care about themselves or the people that care about them. Being cynical and detached isn’t cool to me anymore. I admire people who care and want to improve their own lives for the sake of others. I know I don’t see eye to eye with my own mom and dad on a lot but I also know they’re satisfied/comforted knowing I’m trying my best to make good on the life they gave me.
I don’t want to “debate” and argue anymore. It just isn’t worth getting worked up over and a) I don’t know what I’m talking about most of the time and b) neither does whoever I’m talking to.
It also makes me sad to see people living as though they don’t care about themselves or the people that care about them. Being cynical and detached isn’t cool to me anymore. I admire people who care and want to improve their own lives for the sake of others. I know I don’t see eye to eye with my own mom and dad on a lot but I also know they’re satisfied/comforted knowing I’m trying my best to make good on the life they gave me.
I no longer care about maintaining friendships that are one sided and/or conditional. Also, if they don’t show up for my kids then I don’t want them there at all. Simple as that.
When I chose me and put myself first. Then I got pregnant and that was a wild ride for itself.. Now a tiny human wants me to choose her and put her first.
So, now we are dancing to baby techno and drinking from a sippy cup, instead of doing molly in a club with some friends and rando’s.
I’m in the middle of unmasking late diagnosis kind of thing and it’s changing everything. I’m seeing the world differently. I’m seeing people differently. I’m looking back at all my actions, past to present, with new eyes. Not to judge myself, but to understand. For the first time, I’m realizing what I actually want and how I want it not filtered through survival or people-pleasing or masking just to fit in. It’s like waking up from a long, strange dream and suddenly feeling everything in high definition. It’s beautiful, heartbreaking, overwhelming… but real.
That’s how I know I’m growing. Because I’m finally meeting myself as I am not who I thought I had to be.
When I started craving independence and to have my own space, when I started thinking more realistically about my future and what I want from it. I was a dumb kid hell I’m still dumb (imo) but I was also not very realistic when I was younger I couldn’t fathom not wanting to spend time with my parents or why someone would want to live alone. I also didn’t seem to understand that my dream job was unrealistic (Or maybe I did but didn’t want to acknowledge it) ,but as I grew I started to understand better and started setting goals and points for what I needed to do if I wanted a chance to thrive in some way.
When I started not being able to tolerate things I used to be able to tolerate, and realized that my anger is a call to action for something to change. Consequently, it enabled me to intentionally establish my boundaries.
Also, when I realized that some things that used to be fun are parts of a chapter of my life with that (past) version of me, meanwhile the present version of me may not find those things fun anymore. There’s acceptance in the changes, and being aware that they’re part of the process. As one grows, one also elevates their pursuits of happiness.
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Went from like 5’7 to 6’0 between freshman and senior year.
When you look back at some stuff and cringe rather than getting mad and blindly start defending your choices.
you stop playing video games…
When I looked back at past me and barely recognized him.
Some stuff just doesn’t interest me like it used to
When I stopped arguing to win and started arguing to understand… and also when hangovers started lasting three business days.
When I realized that staying in is just as much of a flex as going out.
And that 9 PM is a perfectly acceptable bedtime.
When my idea of fun shifted from “chaotic spontaneity” to “planning six weeks ahead and still maybe canceling.
When people start growing hair in places they didn’t have it before… This is normal and nothing to be scared of…
I started to realize that being a people pleaser won’t get me anywhere. Now me can be a mean lil b but i love her. She knows how to stand up for now.
I start admiring trees and plants
I got hair in places I never had it before.
when i no longer wanted to be who i was.
When our house burned down and the ambulance took my father to the hospital. I was standing in next to our house with a couple of firefighters and police officers and I had to make decisions and sign papers about everything.
That was the moment when I realised buying alcohol and cigarettes and have a job is not the real sign of being grown up.
Responsibilities.
My pee pee started to pew pew.
When i stopped putting up with bullshit from “friends” out of fear of upsetting the social order.
No longer connecting or feeling like I resonate with the same people. Many friendships started feeling forced and no longer fulfilling.
When I noticed that I genuinely enjoy and appreciate interacting with the people who surround me.
When I got upset that they changed the layout in the grocery store and heard songs I grew up listening to on the oldies station (specifically, the Offspring)
When after years of refusing to watch WWE or Star Trek, I finally gave both a chance and loved them both. Also, just being open to trying new things and experiences, instead of just playing it safe to the routine every time. I told my husband yesterday (and many times before that) that the 18 year old me that he first met would be shocked at how much I’ve changed as a person
Funny enough i have these thoughts that you mentioned whenever I check back myself in the Photos app, nostalgic.
When i started getting excited to receive or get household items. Cleaning supplies, cleaning tools, and kitchen stuff.
When I didn’t react by arguing with my brother. He told me, I’d changed, I have, I don’t argue to be right, any more
When all of the holidays lost their magic
If you realize, you aren’t.
When my pecker stopped pecking.
I no longer held the same childish beliefs as the students around me
Looking back and thinking completely different about the people and situation, getting better at just accepting things for what they are, (still a long way but) accepting my body more/caring less about looks, understanding the effects of socialization more, caring less about consumerism (still a long way), understanding that life can’t be 1000% super duper exciting every day, learning that I can only change my life myself
I changed and waking up to realizing I wanted a different life than the one I was currently living
I started valuing time more than I valued opinions. Like at first, I was all about getting validation but then I caught myself ignoring the noise and focusing on things that actually mattered.
when i figured out that there isn’t an end stage of growing up that you just arrive at one day, there will always be new things to learn and new ways to improve yourself and behavior. the idea that there is a final, most ‘grown up’ form to achieve is an immature idea, it’s a misconceived fallacy
When I started realizing what I was doing was accomplishing nothing, and when I realized a lot of the people around me were dragging me down.
When I stopped being defensive or easily offended and irritated by things and just went with the flow. There are so few things in life that merit serious upset and you have a lot more peace when you let things go and stay positive
When I started walking away from toxic people instead of giving into what they wanted from me
When my boobs started to hurt 😝 I’m almost up to a B cup. Not bad for 41.
Passing my NREMT on the first attempt. Made me feel like I was choosing the right career path.
I don’t want to “debate” and argue anymore. It just isn’t worth getting worked up over and a) I don’t know what I’m talking about most of the time and b) neither does whoever I’m talking to.
It also makes me sad to see people living as though they don’t care about themselves or the people that care about them. Being cynical and detached isn’t cool to me anymore. I admire people who care and want to improve their own lives for the sake of others. I know I don’t see eye to eye with my own mom and dad on a lot but I also know they’re satisfied/comforted knowing I’m trying my best to make good on the life they gave me.
I don’t want to “debate” and argue anymore. It just isn’t worth getting worked up over and a) I don’t know what I’m talking about most of the time and b) neither does whoever I’m talking to.
It also makes me sad to see people living as though they don’t care about themselves or the people that care about them. Being cynical and detached isn’t cool to me anymore. I admire people who care and want to improve their own lives for the sake of others. I know I don’t see eye to eye with my own mom and dad on a lot but I also know they’re satisfied/comforted knowing I’m trying my best to make good on the life they gave me.
When getting bored of gaming and more specifically new games that I was hyped for. Supposedly.
When the hot girls in my high school were still hot in her late 20 and I’m turning into a fat uncle.
Legit loving useful gifts.
Losing my empathy and morality
Not looking to others for validation.
I just grew up and changed due to other people in my life but we all go through this
I no longer care about maintaining friendships that are one sided and/or conditional. Also, if they don’t show up for my kids then I don’t want them there at all. Simple as that.
In 2001 I went from single living w my dad to married w three kids (2 step, baby in December) and bought a house. Time to grow up I guess.
When I chose me and put myself first. Then I got pregnant and that was a wild ride for itself.. Now a tiny human wants me to choose her and put her first.
So, now we are dancing to baby techno and drinking from a sippy cup, instead of doing molly in a club with some friends and rando’s.
When you can careless
When I could accurately and quickly identify people with manipulative traits.
When I met the love of my life. We were married for almost 45 years until she passed away 😢 💔
When I started seeing things in a way different perspective
I’m in the middle of unmasking late diagnosis kind of thing and it’s changing everything. I’m seeing the world differently. I’m seeing people differently. I’m looking back at all my actions, past to present, with new eyes. Not to judge myself, but to understand. For the first time, I’m realizing what I actually want and how I want it not filtered through survival or people-pleasing or masking just to fit in. It’s like waking up from a long, strange dream and suddenly feeling everything in high definition. It’s beautiful, heartbreaking, overwhelming… but real.
That’s how I know I’m growing. Because I’m finally meeting myself as I am not who I thought I had to be.
When I started craving independence and to have my own space, when I started thinking more realistically about my future and what I want from it. I was a dumb kid hell I’m still dumb (imo) but I was also not very realistic when I was younger I couldn’t fathom not wanting to spend time with my parents or why someone would want to live alone. I also didn’t seem to understand that my dream job was unrealistic (Or maybe I did but didn’t want to acknowledge it) ,but as I grew I started to understand better and started setting goals and points for what I needed to do if I wanted a chance to thrive in some way.
When I no longer care or think too much whenever people don’t match my energy. If they don’t, I just simply stop and don’t force things.
I no longer cared what other people were doing on their Friday nights.
Realizing my parents were right about a lot of things, actually.
When I started not being able to tolerate things I used to be able to tolerate, and realized that my anger is a call to action for something to change. Consequently, it enabled me to intentionally establish my boundaries.
Also, when I realized that some things that used to be fun are parts of a chapter of my life with that (past) version of me, meanwhile the present version of me may not find those things fun anymore. There’s acceptance in the changes, and being aware that they’re part of the process. As one grows, one also elevates their pursuits of happiness.
When i started feeling guilty if i wasted time doing nothing.
The pattern in my choices changed, and I stopped fearing that change. I am a happier person because of it.