You know those realizations where something just clicks and it’s what you were kind of thinking for a while but then you just get a type of confirmation?
I realized that a connection I have with someone might not be as deep as I felt it to be. I think I have just been a part of the dopamine pool. It’s not to say they didn’t really feel any type of real closeness. I think that’s real. But I think I am just one of many “feel good” things they chase. I think any “drug” will do. It’s whatever is available that is giving the most charge at the given moment. Well, whoever.
It’s a long time pattern that nobody has really been the exception for.
I don’t think I want to subject myself to being that in someone’s life. I think what I want is steady, real, and legitimate. I’m not a fan of temporary, or being traded out for when something else, someone else, is more exciting. You can’t really have your cake and eat it too.
I realized that even though this is pretty shitty to be on the other side of, I can’t even take it personally. It is in their nature. People, women in particular, are just their drug of choice. Somehow I found myself here.
Thinking. I don’t want to be that role that in anyone’s life.
Im reevaluating the relationship as a whole, but I don’t know where to place it yet that feels doable for me.
-ages in that bracket somewhere but not on the money, connection-it’s complicated
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Temporary can sometime go on for years, everything is fine and suddenly your dumped to the wayside. Make it legal and lasting before its too late.