For example, when a romantic partner gives you great sex but can’t do commitment, or you have other amazing connections in some way but you also have a major dealbreaker. Would love to hear your experiences!
How did you resist going back to a person you knew was bad for you?
r/AskWomen
Comments
I gained some self worth 🙂
I’m wondering this too
I didn’t want to go back. All the stuff that ‘did work’ lost all value and appeal because of the things that didn’t.
I no longer had any space in my life for anyone that was less than amazing,
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Trial and error. We cycled over and over…he would pursue, I would engage, he would retreat, I would get angry and ignore him when he finally came around. And again it would start…he would pursue…and I was optimistic every time. Until one day I wasn’t. Some people choose chaos…you have to make the decision to hard pass on anyone that hurts you more than they make you happy.
Stop thinking about them fondly. Replace fond memories with all the shitty things they done in the past.
Remember all the differentials. The fact that he hates sushi and gags whenever you want it. Think about how he never wants to see the movie you want. Think about all the compromising and sacrifices you made. Then go out and indulge yourself in everything you love to do. Eat all the sushi you want. See every movie you wanted to see. Think about how if you were still together how you wouldn’t be able to do it.
Delete all his texts, delete his contact info then block him.
Say everything bad they did out loud. Literally listen to yourself say “I want to go back to the guy who did xyz to me”
Imagine how embarrassed you’d be if you said that to your friends, family, or it got on the internet.
Lol, basically shame yourself into having self respect.
my ex cheated on me many times, i forgave him every time, and then he broke up with me. i told my friends we broke up. 2 months later he wants me back and im too embarrassed to say yes, even though i want to, because my friends would think poorly of me. and now that i have an ounce of respect for myself, i feel silly for that being my reason, but grateful that it worked lol
I divorced her and that was the end of that
He tried to unalive me several times.
I thought about all of the times he made me feel inadequate or made me cry over stupid things.
Moved to another country 🤣🤣🤣
After I broke things off, I deleted his number and blocked it (on my phone and WhatsApp) and unfollowed and blocked him on instagram (he has a private account so I’d have to request to follow him again, which is another barrier.)
We didn’t have mutual friends, so this cut off all ways for me to communicate with him. Then you just don’t go to show up to his house and let time take care of the rest.
I don’t we hook up regardless
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When I first read the question, I thought about my Dad, not a romantic partner. I cut my father off going on 5 years ago, and I’m often tempted to reach out to him. I have to tell myself that who I want/who I deserve is not who he is. I gave him way more than enough chances before, hoping he’d change. One more chance won’t do anything.
Realizing that letting a guy do damage to me emotionally is just a continuation of the emotional baggage I was saddled with from an abusive childhood. It’s pure poison and the cycle ends with me.
I used to have this problem. I realized that I was not lonely enough to let someone treat me like that
I think about how embarrassing it would be. Shame is a very effective driver for me. I personally slightly look down on women who settle and make questionable decisions with men, so would I want to be viewed that way too? The answer is no.
I moved across the country and found a man that treats me like a Queen who’s a decade younger. He’s 34, I’m 43.
I started playing Baldur’s Gate 3.
I wasn’t given much of a choice, but I will say that sometimes you have no idea how badly you were being treated til someone treats you well. Luckily they’d had enough too, or I would have kept going back to a very harmful situation
Can I say that I went back every single time, got burned and cried myself to sleep. I tried many times to not hurt myself by doing this but the truth is I just gave in every single time, knowing full well that it won’t last anyhow so I might as well have ‘fun’ while I’m in it.
I put space in between us, more and more space gradually until I no longer felt like I needed them in my life. I stopped looking at their social media, stopped initiating conversations, and then ultimately stopped hanging out with them. It takes time to heal, but I have realized that I can’t heal when I still feel close to them.
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ChatGPT talks me out of it😂
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