I reconnected with people who actually did and still keep making me feel heard and loved. The more i gave my time to them, the more i also wanted to focus on me and doing things i enjoyed by myself too.
I kind of disappeared. He knew I was moving out but he started trying to get violent so I sped up the process. I moved out early. So he came home to me and all my things gone. By then I had changed all my info and hadn’t told anyone where I lived. There was like two more weeks in the lease and the rent and bills had been paid for that month. I had gone and personally delivered my keys to the leasing company. I let my friends in the office know that if anyone called looking for me to tell them I was no longer there. When he started calling/ txt I didn’t answer just sent a picture of the keys in the leasing office. And I blocked him, his family and friends in everything. I seriously didn’t think I was going to leave him. He kept trying to guilt trip me into letting him stay with me because he hadn’t looked for a new place. And he just kept trying to make me feel crazy and convince me I owed him. I didn’t take the bait. Eventually he gave up creating new phone numbers and emails to try to reach me.
„To be seen is to be known is to be loved“ this sentence right there woke me up from the fantasy of our relationship to the actual reality of two people not knowing much about each other.
i had to treat it like grief. no closure, just waves of sadness and healing. some days i still miss who they were to me.. but i don’t miss how small i felt trying to keep them.
My body was showing me signs that I should stop talking to him. I walked away and dealt with depression. This happened 2 years ago and he contacted a few months ago and we are back together
I ripped off the bandaid, dumped them, and I told myself over and over, “one day I will meet someone who makes me glad I made this choice.” I was right.
Finally told myself the truth: for some people it’s just a game. They were never serious. There’s no way they loved me like I loved them, because I would have never, ever hurt them the way they hurt me.
When the thought of staying started to mess with my self perception, I refused to let a man affect everything I had worked so hard to build so I took my power back and ended things. It was brave and empowering.
I left town. I knew he wouldn’t leave me, he was loyal but didn’t love me. I loved him but felt I deserved more. I had to split. The distance helped me shape a new life without him.
Say the things you need to say. How much you love them. How much it hurts. Ask your final questions to get closure if possible. Then move out and cauterize the wound. Go low to no contact, cry, be messy in front of your friends and family, keep going to work, invest in your health, and take it a day at a time.
Don’t let a lost love torpedo everything else. But let yourself feel the grief. At first it will be massive and incomprehensible. It will get smaller.
Still haven’t. sure we’re seperate but I think of him all day every day and I miss him so much. its even worse that its on good terms. technically I could text him and we could chat if I wanted.. but he deserves space and peace and I dont deserve to be waiting for him forever.
I wasn’t happy about going NC with my brother, but, at the end of the day, he’s a drug addict and an alcoholic with a serious case of Peter Pan Syndrome. His vices are his priority and there’s nothing that I can do about that. He’s not going to change his ways and I was tired of being used and treated like garbage. As far as walking away from him is concerned, I did what I felt like I had to do.
Hi! I had a really bad breakup like this a few months ago. It was horrible but it got better. Busied myself, joined the gym, made an effort to work on myself. Every couple of weeks I slipped up and texted him, but he was thankfully very good at not giving in and telling me what I wanted to hear. He at one point got frustrated and asked why I felt the need to text him so often so I told him the truth and that I couldn’t help myself because I still cared about him, so he made some room for my texts and quietly read whatever I had to say but never said a word. Eventually I texted him to say I wanted him to know I’d still care about him even after I’d fully let go, and I think that was the moment I kind of freed myself. I’ll probably always have love for him in my heart, and it was important to me that he knew that. I just don’t feel like I have to remind him anymore. It’s definitely a grieving process, and some days are terrible. But the terrible days are less and less frequent as time goes by. I’m now trying to meet other people and realising it’s not the end of the world. Much love and many hugs to you OP 💗 I promise it’ll all be okay
I told myself over and over that I would not let somebody else take me out of my own character. I spent a good amount of my young adult life figuring out my own values, morals, and who I was as a person, and he couldn’t take that away from me. Staying would go against everything I stood for, and although it was sad you have to do it for yourself.
I prioritized who I was, and who I wanted to be over how I felt about him. I surrounded myself by things that were healthy, people who genuinely cared, and cut him off like a cancer. Finding strength in your sense of self, and not letting somebody take an ounce of who you are or your energy away allows you to grieve the loss with grace.
I gave him an ultimatum I knew he wouldn’t fulfill, was shocked when he started to, and then split via one of his other women picking me up after yet another episode of him treating me like shit. But the point of the ultimatum was put up or watch me stand up — and walk out. So when he tried to flip flop again, I held firm.
Never give an ultimatum that ends with you leaving, unless you’re prepared to leave. I was still so wrapped up in it financially I needed that confirmation. It was hella tough. Still fkn is unfortunately. But most days, it’s 10x better than being with him. And !!!EVERY GD DAY!!! I’m happy that I finally did what had to be done.
When my ex dumped me, he removed me from everywhere and didn’t block me on his phone number incase I needed something / he needed something; at that time I had finals, so imagine how much I was griefing over our 8 month relationship that was going so smoothly and only ended because he thought I wasn’t paying enough attention and that I was being dry although he encouraged me to focus on my studies.. anyways
Even if he kept his phone number; I thought of it, and I thought maybe I just need to stop expecting an apology because he rushed and dumped me without thinking. I loved him so much but he hurt me, badly, so I blocked him from my end on everywhere so I can stop expecting a response from him, or an apology.
It was very difficult for me to end this relationship after three years of living together. But when I started listing in my head all the times he had hurt me, tears came to my eyes and I was determined to end it all. (Although, to be honest, it didn’t work the first time).
Let it go piece by piece until you can fully detach. Because if the other person won’t respond, the connection will eventually fade. Your feelings might not disappear right away, but that silence, that lack of effort is your answer. And maybe, that’s the only kind of closure you’ll ever get. But it’s also the acceptance you need to finally move forward.
Comments
I started focusing on my personal goals and growth.
I reconnected with people who actually did and still keep making me feel heard and loved. The more i gave my time to them, the more i also wanted to focus on me and doing things i enjoyed by myself too.
I allowed myself to hate them with extremely deep rage. Took the longing away. Also, I had a daughter I needed to protect. She has always come first.
I kind of disappeared. He knew I was moving out but he started trying to get violent so I sped up the process. I moved out early. So he came home to me and all my things gone. By then I had changed all my info and hadn’t told anyone where I lived. There was like two more weeks in the lease and the rent and bills had been paid for that month. I had gone and personally delivered my keys to the leasing company. I let my friends in the office know that if anyone called looking for me to tell them I was no longer there. When he started calling/ txt I didn’t answer just sent a picture of the keys in the leasing office. And I blocked him, his family and friends in everything. I seriously didn’t think I was going to leave him. He kept trying to guilt trip me into letting him stay with me because he hadn’t looked for a new place. And he just kept trying to make me feel crazy and convince me I owed him. I didn’t take the bait. Eventually he gave up creating new phone numbers and emails to try to reach me.
[removed]
I made plans for my own next steps in life and started working through them.
„To be seen is to be known is to be loved“ this sentence right there woke me up from the fantasy of our relationship to the actual reality of two people not knowing much about each other.
i had to treat it like grief. no closure, just waves of sadness and healing. some days i still miss who they were to me.. but i don’t miss how small i felt trying to keep them.
My body was showing me signs that I should stop talking to him. I walked away and dealt with depression. This happened 2 years ago and he contacted a few months ago and we are back together
I had to remind myself love isn’t enough if the basics arent there – trust, respect, shared goals. Hardest choice I’ve ever made…
I ripped off the bandaid, dumped them, and I told myself over and over, “one day I will meet someone who makes me glad I made this choice.” I was right.
I focused on myself by working out, hanging out with friends and family. I also was working late also.
[removed]
Accepted the fact that our values are no longer aligned and that I have to let him go. No words. Just disappeared in silence
Finally told myself the truth: for some people it’s just a game. They were never serious. There’s no way they loved me like I loved them, because I would have never, ever hurt them the way they hurt me.
When the thought of staying started to mess with my self perception, I refused to let a man affect everything I had worked so hard to build so I took my power back and ended things. It was brave and empowering.
I left town. I knew he wouldn’t leave me, he was loyal but didn’t love me. I loved him but felt I deserved more. I had to split. The distance helped me shape a new life without him.
Say the things you need to say. How much you love them. How much it hurts. Ask your final questions to get closure if possible. Then move out and cauterize the wound. Go low to no contact, cry, be messy in front of your friends and family, keep going to work, invest in your health, and take it a day at a time.
Don’t let a lost love torpedo everything else. But let yourself feel the grief. At first it will be massive and incomprehensible. It will get smaller.
Still haven’t. sure we’re seperate but I think of him all day every day and I miss him so much. its even worse that its on good terms. technically I could text him and we could chat if I wanted.. but he deserves space and peace and I dont deserve to be waiting for him forever.
Crying
I wasn’t happy about going NC with my brother, but, at the end of the day, he’s a drug addict and an alcoholic with a serious case of Peter Pan Syndrome. His vices are his priority and there’s nothing that I can do about that. He’s not going to change his ways and I was tired of being used and treated like garbage. As far as walking away from him is concerned, I did what I felt like I had to do.
had to remind myself that love isn’t enough if I’m the only one trying. It hurt like hell, but peace is better than confusion
Hi! I had a really bad breakup like this a few months ago. It was horrible but it got better. Busied myself, joined the gym, made an effort to work on myself. Every couple of weeks I slipped up and texted him, but he was thankfully very good at not giving in and telling me what I wanted to hear. He at one point got frustrated and asked why I felt the need to text him so often so I told him the truth and that I couldn’t help myself because I still cared about him, so he made some room for my texts and quietly read whatever I had to say but never said a word. Eventually I texted him to say I wanted him to know I’d still care about him even after I’d fully let go, and I think that was the moment I kind of freed myself. I’ll probably always have love for him in my heart, and it was important to me that he knew that. I just don’t feel like I have to remind him anymore. It’s definitely a grieving process, and some days are terrible. But the terrible days are less and less frequent as time goes by. I’m now trying to meet other people and realising it’s not the end of the world. Much love and many hugs to you OP 💗 I promise it’ll all be okay
I loved him and he wasn’t happy. I only ever wanted him to be happy. That’s what love will do to you.
I told myself over and over that I would not let somebody else take me out of my own character. I spent a good amount of my young adult life figuring out my own values, morals, and who I was as a person, and he couldn’t take that away from me. Staying would go against everything I stood for, and although it was sad you have to do it for yourself.
I prioritized who I was, and who I wanted to be over how I felt about him. I surrounded myself by things that were healthy, people who genuinely cared, and cut him off like a cancer. Finding strength in your sense of self, and not letting somebody take an ounce of who you are or your energy away allows you to grieve the loss with grace.
I gave him an ultimatum I knew he wouldn’t fulfill, was shocked when he started to, and then split via one of his other women picking me up after yet another episode of him treating me like shit. But the point of the ultimatum was put up or watch me stand up — and walk out. So when he tried to flip flop again, I held firm.
Never give an ultimatum that ends with you leaving, unless you’re prepared to leave. I was still so wrapped up in it financially I needed that confirmation. It was hella tough. Still fkn is unfortunately. But most days, it’s 10x better than being with him. And !!!EVERY GD DAY!!! I’m happy that I finally did what had to be done.
I told myself I couldn’t repeat history again
When my ex dumped me, he removed me from everywhere and didn’t block me on his phone number incase I needed something / he needed something; at that time I had finals, so imagine how much I was griefing over our 8 month relationship that was going so smoothly and only ended because he thought I wasn’t paying enough attention and that I was being dry although he encouraged me to focus on my studies.. anyways
Even if he kept his phone number; I thought of it, and I thought maybe I just need to stop expecting an apology because he rushed and dumped me without thinking. I loved him so much but he hurt me, badly, so I blocked him from my end on everywhere so I can stop expecting a response from him, or an apology.
[removed]
I didn’t, they left me
It was very difficult for me to end this relationship after three years of living together. But when I started listing in my head all the times he had hurt me, tears came to my eyes and I was determined to end it all. (Although, to be honest, it didn’t work the first time).
Let it go piece by piece until you can fully detach. Because if the other person won’t respond, the connection will eventually fade. Your feelings might not disappear right away, but that silence, that lack of effort is your answer. And maybe, that’s the only kind of closure you’ll ever get. But it’s also the acceptance you need to finally move forward.
It took me a long time to realize that they weren’t the person they used to be. I didn’t care for the person they became, so I stopped caring at all.
A lot of people say that the opposite of love is hate but, it’s really indifference. What a relief it’s been to get there.