My girlfriend and I just graduated high school and will be attending 2 separate colleges 5 hours apart. I have been with her for more than 2 years and have been struggling with overthinking with many relationship things this past year. My girlfriend and I are close to breaking up ever since I sadly told her I wasn’t sure if i loved her almost a month ago. I am overthinking about this a lot. I feel content talking to her in person and we text often, but I don’t see her often during the summer. I feel like I don’t miss her ever, even when we used to see each other during school. I like hanging out with her and doing stuff like getting food with her and going to the aquarium with her, but what if I only enjoy that because I like the activities themselves and not being with her? I truly want to love her and I feel so nice holding her in my arms and showing her affection, but I am unsure if I love her. On top of the lack of missing her, I don’t know if I care about her. It might be overthinking, but I feel emotionally absent when I think about if I want her to be happy and have a better future. When i’m with her, I feel like I try to make her happy, but I also can’t seem to remember any of my emotions when I’m with her. I feel like a terrible boyfriend and I don’t know why I love her or how she makes me feel. I do know that I believe nobody can fill the void she will make if she leaves and I want to spend my future with her and only her. When I talk to her, I never am bored of her but am often making jokes and having a good time. I am just scared that not missing her and my overthinking about not caring for her when she’s away from me means that I don’t love her. She wants me to be certain that I love her and she doesn’t want to be in a relationship where her boyfriend is unsure if he loves her, which I understand. How do I know for sure if I truly do love her and how can I build my love for her?
*TL;DR;: How do I know for sure if I love my girlfriend?
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Comments
Honestly, I usually hate the cliches of ‘you just know’ but I really think that applies to love in this sense. Your gut and your heart and head will be aligned that you love her, if they’re not, I would’ve thought you don’t. Even with all the overthinking and anxiety over it all, you will still know if you love her (speaking from experience). I’m sorry I can’t be of more help! It may be worth taking some time to think about the future of this relationship to avoid hurting her further, whilst also being kind to yourself 🙂
If you can’t tell by two years in, you probably dont. And that’s not a snarky comment. You should definitely feel it.