Tl;dr This is a long one sorry!
My (20F) boyfriend (20M) is so defensive about everything and it’s been making me feel as if I can’t speak up about how I feel because it always leads to an argument.
Today we’re currently on holiday and it’s his birthday and we are arguing because I felt kinda disconnected from him. For example I was cuddling with him but he was on his phone then I started to get intimate and whilst I was doing it I even had to tell him to put his phone down cos he was so busy watching TikTok and YouTube videos about football which he could watch at any time.
I then decided to move a little quiet as I didn’t want to say anything as 1) it’s 1am on his birthday and 2) every time I say how I feel it leads to an argument.
But it was eating away at me so all I said to him was I’m feeling a little disconnected right now.
Immediately his tone switched and was like but I’ve kissed you but I’ve cuddled you how can you feel disconnected you’re weird piss off how you doing this on my bday etc. and it was exactly how I knew it would be and I wish I didn’t even say anything. I was calm the whole time and explained how I felt but he told me to leave him alone and said he’ll talk to me in the morning, I tried to explain leaving things until later on will just cause resentment between us but he doesn’t care (which he also stated). He even told me to find someone else which he usually tells me every time we argue which I’ve stated I don’t like when he says that because it feels like a cop out instead of taking accountability for the issue at hand.
I apologised for bringing it up and said I really didn’t want to ruin the beginning of his birthday I just didn’t want to hold in how I felt but it’s too late I’ve been ignored when I try to explain anything told to piss off, fuck off, that I’m weird, when it’s my birthday he does everything to make me happy but on his birthday it’s just another day and I have to make everything about me.
I seriously understand it’s not right to bring it up on his birthday but I felt disconnected in the moment and just wanted to feel closer to my boyfriend on his birthday 🤷🏽♂️