I (23F) went with my bf (25M) to a strip club. I’m bi and my bf and i have had many conversations about going to one for months. We finally got the opportunity to go to one yesterday since neither of us had to go to work. We had a talk about boundaries in the car before going in and everything. It was a full nude club so it was overwhelming bbs and psy. I was trying to relax trying to enjoy it, but it’s like i forgot that i’m also attracted to women and all i could focus on was how much is my bf enjoying this?
When we got home he started initiating sex and i could not for the life of me get in the mood. He ate me out and touched my boobs and i just felt nasty. We started having sex and i just zoned out. He noticed and stoped and felt so guilty which he shouldn’t because i never told him to stop and i wanted to be with him in that was i really did. all i could think about was all the girls at the club and the men who are probably married or with gfs that were there and i felt gross. i feel like my boobs and body aren’t special any more. this also only happened last night so i’m still processing. i don’t know how to start a healthy conversation to unravel all the feeling i have about this experience.
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Well your insecurities took the best of you. However, it seems that you noticed that this isn’t for you. Which is fine. Give yourself some time. Chill a little.
Hopefully the insecurity will fade with time and this will be a valuable learning experience. There’s probably no way to instantly feel better about it.
FAFO, you experienced something and decided it’s not for you. Mentally distance yourself and build back stronger shouldn’t be an issue unless your bf wants to revisit.
Don’t even have to make it too serious, hey that experience wasn’t for me, felt ick. Leave it at that.
You need time, and if you are affected that bad, ask for him to not go there anymore. One thing to realize though is that you didn’t put your body on display, meaning to your boyfriend, it is still special as he is the only one to see and enjoy it. ^^
It’s totally normal to feel this way after something so intense and out of the ordinary. Take your time to process, and when you are ready, be honest with your boyfriend about how it made you feel – no pressure, just real talk.
It’s completely understandable to feel shaken after an experience like that, but try not to let it define how you see yourself, your worth isn’t tied to any single moment, and while it’s okay to question your comfort, remember that what matters most is how you feel about yourself in the bigger picture, maybe take some time to suggest on what truly makes you feel confident and grounded outside of that situation.