How do I (27F) stop comparing my bf (29M) to my ex (34M)?

TLDR: My (27F) current boyfriend (29M) is the absolute sweetest man on the planet and I can’t stop comparing him to my ex (34M) who was the complete opposite. I don’t miss my ex at all, but I think I’m a bit traumatized.

I am going to try to keep this as short as possible. I met my current boyfriend (29M) a little over a year ago. We got along well from the start, had a lot of similar interests, and all of our first dates were absolutely amazing. True fireworks every time we hung out. (I’m grinning just thinking about them now) I was still dating multiple people at this time and ended up settling down with someone I had known a few years longer & wanted to reconnect with, my ex (34M).

I was with my ex for about 6-7 months, and most of it was miserable. We were long distance and visited each other every 1-2 months. Even when things were good, I felt like I was someone who was around only to keep him from being single, less of a person to share life with. We would argue over the careless things he said to me or how I felt neglected/unappreciated in the relationship, and we would end up arguing for HOURS over why my feelings should matter, how I need to pick my battles, how I should have approached him differently if I wanted him to react a certain way. He also usually took those times to tell me all thing things I do that he had a problem with but wasn’t going to say anything about. Mind you, I take pride in the way I communicate with people during conflict (10 years of therapy) so this threw me off. I use “I feel..” language, I try not to place blame or accuse. I cried a lot. I felt like i was going insane begging for basic attention and affection. Begging to be heard and understood. I never considered myself as a needy or codependent partner but he had me genuinely asking myself if I was asking for something unreasonable, if the love so desired even existed. I even agreed to go to couples therapy towards the end of our relationship at his suggestion; which to his dismay actually solidified the end of our relationship for me. Feel free to ask for info if you need more insight, but I want you to understand I miss absolutely nothing about this partner or relationship.

During this relationship, I was not at all in contact with the future boyfriend (29). It wasn’t until about 3-4 months later that we ended up going on our last first date, which, as expected, was absolutely amazing. I’m telling you, sparks flew any time I saw this man. I ended up moving to a new state a few weeks later, and within that same month, he flew out to me & asked me to be his girlfriend—easy yes. Things have been fantastic since then, but I’ve realized I am traumatized. For example: I had to express a boundary to my boyfriend that I had. I literally held onto the conversation for a week because I didn’t want to argue about it (we have never argued). But when I finally told him, he was super normal about it, even reassured me that I could always talk about anything that bothered me. I cried once we got off the phone. I never say it to his face but my ex would have never let me live that down. When my boyfriend found out I was getting into houseplants, he bought me a mister and some plant hats (sent to me in a care package with a stuffed animal & confetti and a long love note)…my ex would only buy me shoes because he liked shoes, and only the ones he liked. My boyfriend is generous, thoughtful, patient & so so sweet. I truly love & adore him completely. He is truly the only man I see.

Sometimes I’m fine comparing them, because it keeps me grateful of the hell I escaped from, but there’s also a part of me that feels guilty for still thinking of my ex at all every time my man does something sweet. I just want to keep the moments & memories sweet, not taint them with moments where I didn’t think I was worth the effort.