Lately I’ve been feeling very isolated. I work from home and I do have friends who I talk to to daily but I want my partner to come home and ask me how my day was or once in a while do a check in on my feelings/how I’m doing and actually actively listen and empathize. Things feel very hard right now in the world and a little emotional support would mean the world. He will ask, but if I’m feeling any type of negative way I see him reacting in a way that he seems uncomfortable. Avoidant. I don’t feel heard.
This morning I expressed that I’m feeling like I don’t have anyone that does this for me. He said he’s sorry. I said that I feel like he doesn’t really do that either and he actually exploded. He does this anytime I try to talk to him about anything he perceives as negative and then asks me how I should expect him to react when I’m saying he’s “doing something wrong”. I’m just trying to have calm and open communication.
So this morning was “F you, F you, I do ask you, you’re crazy, I can’t believe you would even say that, I always ask you” then the silent treatment. He was enraged.
If shoe were on the other foot I would curious and inquiring WHY he specifically felt that way so we could work through it together.
How can I actually approach this situation in the future and actually get somewhere? Are there any communication techniques that you know of that I can utilize in this situation? Help .
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This sounds emotionally/verbally abusive to me. Does he often deny your feelings, or insult you when you try to express a need or ask him for something? There is no magic way to ask an abusive person for something that will make him less abusive and more loving.
You approach… By walking away and never looking back.
If a man at his big age can’t get his shit together to have an adult conversation…
He needs therapy and to do the work on himself. And he will not ever do that with you. He already knows what he can get away with.