TW: Blood/menstruation
Bf and I had a quick fun time before work (no intercourse) the other day and while on the way to work I mentioned that he, “REALLY hit the right spot today.” Bf got his feelings hurt saying how could I lie to him about hitting the spot before, which he does ALL THE TIME. I tried to explain to him that he does hit it all the time that day was just extra good. He still thinks I’m lying. I get to work and realize I started my period. Which means all the lady bits are swollen (which explains why it felt so good). I try to explain this to him but he’s not listening.
There’s been a lot of outside stress this week and I just dont know if this is his way of dealing with the outside stress by pulling away or if this stupidly is the end of us. I love this man with all my heart. Is there something different I can do or do I just let it go?
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I have too many questions
Tell him to learn to take a compliment, ugh. It is as if he doesn’t want you to enjoy it. I would tell him that his calling you a liar about something s intimate is ruining sex with him for you, because how can you even enjoy it now if he is just going to accuse you of lying if you do. Then take a nice really long break from him, like weeks, that turn into months, then years.
Let it marinate for a few days. Not everything needs to be addressed immediately
Sex with same person feels different at different times, depending upon how things are going around or in the lifestyle. Study’s have shown sex just before or during menstrual cycle feels more intense and pleasurable. If that’s difficult for your bf to understand, then sadly not much can be done.
I can tell you part of why he thinks that way. 90% of men are conditioned to think that we have 0 idea what we’re doing in the bedroom and that a woman is going to lie to him every chance she gets just to keep him happy. So we’re conditioned to basically roll our eyes while in the back of our head we’re thinking “Sure thing dear.. Now how many other guys have you told that to over the years.. Are you telling me that because you’re hiding something?” Most women I’ve dated (age 40 btw so I’ve got a decent amount of experience) Have never been that open when a man pleases them. But boy howdy do they let us know when we fail. So we’re conditioned to think we’re failing even when we’re not. And all it takes is one bad experience to screw up the way we look at our sex life for most of our adult lives without therapy.. Personal story here without too many details unless folks want them. But when the woman you lose your virginity to tells you she only slept with you to shut you up… Yeah.. Those wounds never really go away. So my best advice is try to help him through the outside stress and then ask him why he feels like you’re lying to him about it. Most men prefer the direct approach so we don’t have to guess. Can’t promise he’ll talk about it right away let alone at all. But if he loves you he’ll open up