How do I accept my parents for who they are and not who I want them to be?

Hey everyone, I appreciate any advice.

My parents are mostly great people. They’re nice and have given me and my brother a lot.

But the more I grow and learn about discipline (like in life, being a disciplined person) and taking care of your mental health the more I realize they’re both terrible at controlling their emotions.

Like, my dad will get frustrated or upset about something and it’s like he can’t process that things aren’t exactly as he expected them to be and it’s like this dark cloud comes over him and he starts acting very sour and spiteful.

My mom gets really stressed out about stuff and wears it over everything, like it’s like the stress has to become the center attraction. My dad drank a lot when I was a teenager and my mom would come and cry to me about how she didn’t know what to do and I had to “be strong for the family” and I was like am I not the one who’s supposed to be crying right now??

Things have gotten better but they still overwhelmingly give in to their emotions and I feel like they’re not even processing that they do it, they just give in when they’re frustrated/worried/upset and it’s very stressful to live with.

I just don’t get how to accept them for the flawed people they are, because I feel like the more I learn the more I judge them for their not knowing any of it. I had to force myself to stop being their therapist so it’s hard for me to talk to them about things, and any attempt I’ve made to talk to them about their actions was met with a wall of defensiveness.

I’m saving up money to move out but it’s a slow process, and even then I feel like my relationship with them has been strained for so long I don’t know how to fix it anymore.