My friend (M25) girlfriend recently reached out to me about his porn addiction and chronic cheating. She revealed that she has caught him on Reddit, hookup, dating, and fetish apps, searching for women and couples looking for sex. She also received messages from multiple women saying they had matched with him on dating apps.
She went through his phone and found, to be exact, 10,000 files of porn and nudes of women he’s slept with or fantasized about. He’s even posted videos of himself having sex with women on multiple Reddit pages. She’s had multiple conversations with him about his behavior. He promises to change, but she says he just falls back into the same habits.
Last summer, she had to check herself into a mental hospital because of his manipulation and lies. I’ve known this guy since I was 16 years old (I’m currently 27), and I’m just trying to figure out the best way help him realize his behavior is affecting the women he’s in relationships with. This is the second time a girlfriend of his has confided in me about his behavior. Thanks
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Well if I was her I would have left him the first time he cheated. It’s her fault for staying with him at this point.
As your friend, I don’t know… that’s really weird to know
Tell her to get away from him.
And then it depends on your relationship to him. Is he a “friend”, or really close to you? If it’s the latter, then just go talk to him. If he doesn’t want help, you don’t need to help.
You could always just mind ur business.. can’t change something so out of your control but can definitely ruin your friendship by attempting to do so.. also really weird of her to “confide” this in you but also if a mental hospital didn’t work what are U gonna do…
He’s the one that needs to check into the mental hospital, not her. She needs to get into therapy to work on her self esteem and self love. It’s great to stand by your partner when they are struggling and to not jump ship at the first sign of trouble but this is just emotional abuse at this point. How can he do this to her? I get addiction, I’m have a major addictive personality, and I’m far from perfect but I’d run away from someone I love before I put them through something like this because of my addictions/ vices. She needs to break up with him. If he wants her, he can go get help, and prove himself to her.
It’s not her fault she managed to find a manipulative asshole, mental hospital is for mental patience if she isn’t that she needs therapist or trauma psychology not mental hospital, unless she has hallucination or mental problems she definitely won’t find help there, tell her where to find the proper help she needs, those two places if you can help her establish contact with one that would be for the best granted you are not responsible for that, but it would be very kind gesture if you do that
As for what to do tell him to seek help, he also needs to go to therapy I also have a bit of porn addiction his is like porn addiction x3 pro max sex addict evolution, he ain’t well in the head, he psychologically destroyed two women, even if you cut him off you would only gain something not lose, being friend with such a person should be fucking nightmare, and trust me there is little difference between manipulating women and men, chances are he has manipulated you as well without you even knowing, if you confront him and he turns it against you, that you are shitty friend or why are you harming him when he is simple victim or some crap that will make you feel bad, know I am right,nmanipulation is not about implanting emotions, it’s about manipulating them, he will make YOU, feel responsible for HIS behavior, if that happens it’s not that he can’t change it’s that he doesn’t want to change, and what you can do then is let him go before he drags you down with him