Hi Reddit, this is my first time posting and it’s a little long but I really need help. I 19f live in a apartment with my newly adopted rescue dog. I do not live with my parents, but there name is on the lease. I work full time and pay most of the rent and do the upkeep for the place. I will say my parents do help me out and I’m beyond greatful for all they do for me. Here’s the issue though, my parents do invite people over to my apartment when I’m not home, without asking or telling me. Most of which are extended family I’m not close with or family friends. I’ve tried to ask them not to invite people over at all, as I am the one that lives there and I feel that it should be my choice to invite people over. It turned into a huge argument, they do help me a lot, so i eventually dropped it and just asked that they at least tell me when people are coming over. Today I was having some titling being done in my kicten as my apartment is 70 years old and needs some major upgrades. I was lucky enough to be able to have my father over while the work crew was here, and my poor pup was locked away in my room. He’s gets stressed and with the construction happening I was worried. He scared of people at first. So looking at my ring doorbell and seeing my mother brought her coworkers over (who I’ve never met) really pushed me over the edge. How do I go about setting this boundary with my parents about having them at least tell me when people are coming over? I’d appreciate any feedback and maybe I’m in the wrong but I just need some help.
Edit- I work full time and I am in college, the current financial arrangement helps me prevent the need to take out student loans, I fully plan on cutting all financial ties when I’m finished with school but am still a couple years out.
Edit 2- I do understand that they help pay and that in part this is there place too. I just want to know when people are coming over and if at possible they could invite people when I’m home. I’ve accepted that them inviting people over isn’t going to change. All I want is to know when they are and I’m having a hard time setting this boundary.
Edit 3- answering for commonly asked questions!
From my understanding they invite friends over cause they are proud of my situation and want to show there friends. I also live near campus so possibly could be another factor.
My parents have a key for emergencies. Sometimes for my job I need to travel hours away so something were to happen they could get into my place if needed.
I can and would will take out student loans if this can’t get worked out but it’s a last resort for me, I like to set these boundaries first if possible as I feel it would be the best solution for all.
Update- I was the one having the misunderstanding. I appreciate everyone’s feedback on how to approach this my parents. For those who do mention my grammar I will say I English isn’t my first language and I don’t speak it at home, so the feedback there is very helpful cause I am learning :).
And now for the update, I called my father last night and just asked why they brought people into my house? He said that they didn’t. I mentioned that I saw it on my camera. My camera is pointed in front of my door with a view of my parking spot, but when you walk past my door it looks like you are walking inside. My parents are using my parking spot when I’m not home. We live in a metro city and most parking places you have to pay for. My apartment is in walking distance of most places so they use my parking spot so they don’t have to pay for downtown parking. They believed I was accusing them of inviting people inside which was the cause of the agrument, when I showed them my camera footage they understood where I was coming from. From what I see is, they park into my spot and past my camera and head inside, which leaves me to see them parked in my spot for hours leaving me to believe to be at my place for hours, when in fact they are not. They did admit to stopping into my place a couple times to use the bathroom or grab water ect, which led to the your “house needs to be clean” comments. They also have invited family members over to show off my place when I first moved in without my knowledge at the time but claimed it was only a couple times and figured it was okay cause it was family. I am going to adjust my camera tonight with the hope of reducing the blind spot by my door so I can see them walking past rather then believing there walking inside, and they agreed to giving me a little bit of a heads up when they are heading over. In the end it was just a misunderstanding which caused us both to get defensive. I do appreciate everyone’s comments on how to approach this conversation with my parents, cause it did truly help. I hope you all have a wonderful day and thank you all again 🙂
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Backup of the post’s body: Hi Reddit, this is my first time posting and it’s a little long but I really need help. I 19f live in a apartment with my newly adopted rescue dog. I do not live with my parents, but there name is on the lease. I work full time and pay most of the rent and do the upkeep for the place. I will say my parents do help me out and I’m beyond greatful for all they do for me. Here’s the issue though, my parents do invite people over to my apartment when I’m not home, without asking or telling me. Most of which are extended family I’m not close with or family friends. I’ve tried to ask them not to invite people over at all, as I am the one that lives there and I feel that it should be my choice to invite people over. It turned into a huge argument, they do help me a lot, so i eventually dropped it and just asked that they at least tell me when people are coming over. Today I was having some titling being done in my kicten as my apartment is 70 years old and needs some major upgrades. I was lucky enough to be able to have my father over while the work crew was here, and my poor pup was locked away in my room. He’s gets stressed and with the construction happening I was worried. He scared of people at first. So looking at my ring doorbell and seeing my mother brought her coworkers over (who I’ve never met) really pushed me over the edge. How do I go about setting this boundary with my parents about having them at least tell me when people are coming over? I’d appreciate any feedback and maybe I’m in the wrong but I just need some help.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Stop accepting financial help and take them off lease then change the locks
You maybe don’t know it yet but it is their apartment) they are on the lease, they give you money to cover the rent. It is their place
When things are calm sit them down and explain your side. If it turns into another argument and they refuse to respect your living space, you’re going to have to deal with it until you are able to cut financial ties with them.
Theu have made it very clear they will not ever respect your request. They feel entitled to your space.
If you want them to stop, you need to sever your dependence on them entirely, because their help apparently comes with strings attached.
If you can’t afford the place without their help, then it might be worth getting a cheaper apartment, becuae I just don’t see you being able to convince them to change.
You need to tell them it’s an invasion of your privacy and space to show up unannounced or when you are not home. You are an adult and they need to respect it is your living space and not theirs, just because they cosigned for you does not mean they are entitled to your apartment without your permission. If they argue or push back go to your landlord and tell them for safety reasons you need them to change the locks at your apartment. They might charge you a small fee but it will prevent your parents from accessing your apartment without your permission.
If they argue, end the conversation because it is clear that even at their age they are disrespectful assholes who can’t have a civilized conversation. Do not feed into their behavior by arguing back, that’s what they want because they clearly like having control over you and treating you like a toddler instead of an adult.
ETA: if they show up unannounced, do not open the door and refuse to receive them.
Are you sub leasing from them? Because if so they can not do this because you are their tenant but if you are all on the lease, they have equal rights to use the apartment and the only way for you to enforce this is to get them off the lease or move.
Either way you need to cut all financial ties.
It’s very disrespectful and a huge invasion of privacy that they are doing this.
Edit: a word.
Try taking advantage of the situation, stop doing the housework!
That way, your parents will either stop inviting people over, or clean the place themselves. See if you can’t get free housework out of this!
What do you do when the guests arrive?
Perhaps you need to find a cheaper place to live? Your parents are abusive. They are on the lease and believe they have autonomy. They do not respect you or your space.
Walk around in your underwear. Embarras them, they will get a clue.
I don’t know but it’s completely bizarre behaviour for them to invite people over to YOUR apartment even if they’re contributing financially.
They want to invite people over? Do it in their own house.
Well if it’s their place, stop paying any rent, let them evict you. See how long they last 😁
You can:
Pay the landlord to Change the locks
Move to a different apartment, fully managed completely by you
If there’s security ask them not to let people in
Roll over and accept being walked on
Best of luck
As long as someone is helping you financially this will always be the dynamic. Either stop accepting the help and get peace of mind or continue to take the help and deal with boundary issues . It’s not right but your situation is almost always how it plays out .
Just leave some dildos out
Wow. You aren’t in the wrong. I would say, “Mom and Dad, I appreciate being able to live in this apartment on my own. I couldn’t do it without your help. But please stop inviting ANYONE over to the place where I live. Not relatives or co-workers or anyone else. Don’t say “It should be my choice.” Say, “I pay most of the rent here. My dog is here. All my valuables are here. I don’t want anyone here when I am not home.”
If it turns into an argument, so be it. It won’t kill you.
I have a Ring camera that announces, “You are being recorded.” Maybe you can program the doorbell to do that. And consider getting door alarms.
Damn, yeah, it’s a bad situation. Sadly, there’s no one-size-fits-all argument to solve this. Whatever the problem is, lies in the relationship you have with your folks. How did the previous argument go? What was their point of view? Is there a reason they don’t respect this boundary? Why do they invite folks to your place? Is it closer to downtown or something? They sound very gregarious, which often includes some fuzzier boundaries. Is that something that happens to them with other people too, or is it them not wanting to cut the umbilical cord? Etc.
TL;DR: There’s a lot of context needed to give any solutions or arguments.
Toxic, but become a nudist
Why are your parents bringing random people over?? This is number one here. No matter who is on the lease, or why they cosigned. Doesn’t matter if they come over themselves. But, what weirdo parents are bringing their friends and coworkers to their kids apartment? That’s definitely not normal and the only issue here.
Also, if they are being overprotective, and is just them, they also should stop that…but it’s less weird. The extra people are the key here. People with nothing better to do? GTfO. Purpose not explained? I can’t think of one reason for parents to be hanging around with extra people at YOUR place.
If you can’t take away their keys, change the locks. If you have to, get another job and take them OFF your lease. Cut them apron strings now.
Do your parents live in the same town? Do you understand why they prefer to have people over to your place rather than their own?
Put up a big sign in a prominent place when you are out saying “you are now trespassing. [parents’ names] do not live here and do not have the resident’s permission to be here with you”
It sounds like your parents think of this apartment as an extension of their home. They are on the lease and are paying for it. I think they feel that it’s there for them to use to entertain. You should have a place of your own with your name on the lease that you pay for. Until you have that you have no say in the matter. I’d like to hear what they have to say about this issue.
Follow the fun responses: underwear, dildos, dirty apartment, etc.
Embarrass the parents a couple times and they will start giving you prior notice.
This is your clue that you don’t let people pay for major things like this in the future because they’ll use it against you.
Are they showing off how well you are doing? Or using your apartment because it’s convenient? It’s not right either way, but at least if it’s the first option, then it should drop off once they’ve shown off enough. I’m sorry they are invading your privacy like that.
Even though they owned your home when you were living with them as a kid they wouldn’t invite people over to hang out in your room would they? No because it is your personal living space and you deserve your privacy.
They are doing this to help you avoid student loans. Not to have a place to host friends and family! That’s massively intrusive.
Frame it not as paying some of your rent but paying some of your tuition. That is essentially what they’re doing.
They don’t get unfettered access to your space and they have to respect your boundaries.
If you lived in a dorm that they were paying for, they would never do this.
Having people you don’t personally know and / or aren’t aware are coming over when you’re not there is awful. Total invasion of privacy.
They don’t accept you as an adult or respect your autonomy.
I have an adult student / part time working kid who has to live with us due to the extremely HCOL place we live.
We have gone out for the day so they can have friends over in peace. We don’t go into their room without an invitation.
We also pay the majority of their life costs (health insurance, medical, groceries, some essential clothes and shoes, public transport). They pay for fun stuff (snacks, going out with friends, some clothes, tattoos etc) and are saving for the future.
It isn’t difficult to respect someone’s space, life and wishes.
Do there live there too? Are they bringing people to meet you, to show off the place, to hang out? What is their motivation? Do they also bring people over to their own place all the time? Is there a reason they choose your place?
Do you have a key to their house by any chance because why not just go over there since they’re always at your apartment?
Your options depend upon your jurisdiction. Can you confirm the following?
>•Your parents do not own the apartment, but they are the legal tenants per the lease
>•Your parents do not live there, part time or full time
>•You are not a legal tenant per the lease
>•You live there full time
>•You pay most of the rent, with your parents covering the remainder
Additional questions: Does the landlord know that you are living there, and that your parents are not? Could you afford to live there without financial assistance from your parents?
Your
Refusal to accept student loans means you are tied
To them. Which means they see you as a child and therefore you just have to put up with it. You want their money. You put up with the visitors. Or. Pay your own way. That’s your choices.
While you are morally in the right, you risk them cutting you off financially if you fight this. Is this a risk you’re willing to take?
When we bought our first home my MIL offered to pay the down payment. While the $ would really have helped, we declined it because of the strings attached.
You say in front of the people they have brought over Mum Dad I’ve asked you multiple times to stop bringing people to my home it’s making me uncomfortable. The people will feel very awkward and parents will be embarrassed.
Why don’t they invite people to their own home? Why would they want to bring them to your place instead of their own? This makes zero sense to me. Leave the place a mess and they’ll get tired of that or cleaning up after you.
Why are they bringing random people over? Are they just showing off?
Time to leave porn and dildoes around the apartment. Either that or change the locks. We would put a new doorknob lock set on any apartment we rented and keep the old one to put back when we moved out.
So if they have there own place why are they inviting stranger over to your apartment? Tell them the landlord doesn’t like the traffic and is planning to evict you if it keeps up. Tell them the neighbors talked to him and they suspect your selling drugs out of there.
Uhmm get your own apartment is a good place to start
I’m trying to understand how that works . Why do they bring people over when they have their own place . “ hey Sarah , I know I have my own place but wouldn’t it be fun to go over and sit in my kids apartment “ . This just doesn’t make sense.
Unfortunately you’re not willing to make sacrifices for independence, so you have to accept the downsides of being dependent.
If they say ‘if we can’t come over then we’ll stop paying’ you have nothing to come back with. They don’t seem to care how much this stresses you so you’re sol.
A boundary is where you say what you will do if “X” happens, and then you do it. As people have said it would be something like “if you don’t stop bringing people over then I will take out a student loan, no longer need support from you, and change the locks so that you can’t come in”
You’re making a request. There are no consequences if your parents don’t honor the request. Your parents feel entitled to do this because of their monetary contribution, and there is really nothing you can do about it
Commenting again: saw another person suggest new locks. That seems like the perfect solution.
Change the locks OP. And only give them a copy if they agree to check with you before they bring someone over.
Why are they bringing people over anyway?
People keep giving you good solid advice and your reply comment is the same spiel about being a college student and working full time. Why’d you ask for advice if you’re just gonna repeat the same excuses? Either take out student loans or change the locks or stand up for yourself.
Change the locks. It’s really simple.
Why are people there when you’re not home? Are your parents hosting people at your place instead of theirs? If so, why? It’s odd, even if they are helping financially, why are they inviting guests to your place? Is it to visit you, are they staying overnight, is it for meals? I’m so confused by this.
Honestly, you need to start making them and their guests uncomfortable. Leave dirty dishes out on the side, leave a big stinky poop in the toilet, leave skimpy underwear around the apartment and put porn on loop and close your bedroom door so they think they’ve walked in on something.
Hang some really kinky sexual art right over the couch. Put dildos on the countertops.
Yes, what are your parents doing with “their” guests there? Entertaining? Snooping? I’m confused
Unfortunately, you’ve already asked them and they’ve answered.
Suck it up for these last two semesters and then you can cut the financial ties and either find a different place or change the locks on the one you live in now once you take over the lease.
Just remember these defining years of suckage and boundary trampling and know they’ll make a power play anytime they offer/“gift” you money.
What are they doing there? Using it as a satellite living room?
OMG this is really weird! I have 3 grown children and would NEVER
all of my kids gave me emergency keys, too, I never had to use them! My youngest even told me I could come by any time if he wasn’t home, it didn’t have to be an emergency but just like if I wanted to drop stuff off. I still never!
I can’t even imagine having the audacity to not only come by when they’re not home and just let myself in, but also bring other people!! What in the world. None of my friends would even be comfortable with that, nor would I be be comfortable invading their grown kids’ spaces, like what in the world!
LOL I am so appalled, but for real wtf is your parents’ problem, this is outrageous
Just take your clothes off and play dumb
Obviously, your parents do not respect your boundaries and you need to do something about it. Change the locks change the code.
So do they not have a home of their own to entertain in? How can a rented apartment for a college kid be something that interesting or worthy of sharing?
be more messy! they wont want to have anyone over.
a more sustainable solution though, try talking to them from a place of how it makes you feel. Like your privacy is not important to them, like theyre infantilizing you with not respecting your space, etc. That you know and appreciate that they help out so much, it makes you very uncomfortable and paranoid.
Even if youre years out of being able to have your own place, I would mention how much you love staying there but with these breaches in trust and privacy, you might start saving up to have a place further from them (a little bit emotionally manipulative, but hey, you do what you gotta do).
Start giving lessons. First one is use of their, there and they’re. Secondly, do it in a bathrobe.
Why can’t they have company over at their own house if they want to visit? This is just weird
Just have a nice talk with them. Let them know that you don’t feel comfortable with them coming over unannounced and with people. What if you had a male friend over for a date or something, and they just showed up. It wouldn’t be good. If talking doesn’t work, then go with the other advice and leave inappropriate stuff around the apartment
Have the landlord change the locks if you can. If you can’t, tell your parents that key was for EMERGENCIES not this weird open house tour. Then tell them it has to stop. It probably won’t. So the next time they do it, in front of the audience they brought, you hold out your hand and demand your key back right now. Don’t raise your voice, just calmly repeat:
“I need my key back. As I told you when I gave it to you it was for emergencies. I have asked you not to bring strangers into my apartment without warning, I can’t keep doing this, I’ll take the key now.”
Why do your parents invite people over to your apartment? Do your parents not invite people to their home? This is weird and out of line. Just because they help you doesn’t make it okay for them to disrespect you.
Their name is on the lease.
Yup I agree dirty dishes in the sink and clothes to be washed in bathroom.
Even if your mom is proud I think maybe she could alert you so you could clean up.
I think this is really bizarre. Who are these people that are so fascinated by your apartment? That’s just weird. Your apartment is your private space, even if they’re helping you out. I would never do this to my kids and I think your parents are out of line.
Try changing the lock to a keypad that you can change remotely. That way if you have an emergency and need to let them in, you can activate their code. Otherwise not.
Won’t help with when your father has approval but other times.
Take out loans. It’s better than constant boundary crossing.
Why are they inviting friends / co workers to the apartment instead of their home?
Start inviting people to their home they will get the hint
Boundaries are not requests that you make that are optional- they have shown you repeatedly that they will not honor these requests… boundaries are lines that we enforce ourselves to protect our space, emotional and otherwise… they may help financially, but you are an adult, and this is your home, your personal space… Either they respect the boundaries or you change the locks… don’t budge unless you enjoy the constant negotiation of your reasonable boundaries… conflict is uncomfortable, but sometimes compromise is toxic, and it’s important to fully define where that line is. 🤷🏻♀️ Good luck.
Tell each and every guest directly that you wish they had let YOU, the resident, know they were coming. Ask each of your mom’s coworkers for their phone numbers so they can inform you in the future when your mother invites them over. Let each and every guest know they need to tell you when they’re heading over. Put the guests in the middle of it and maybe your parents will wisen up.
Change the locks and don’t give them a key. If they come over without asking, like your mother, tell her “Now is not a good time; call and we’ll set something up,” and don’t let them in.
If you feel you can’t do that, leave really embarrassing stuff out — big dildos, butt plugs, ball gags, porn magazines, all in plain sight.
If your parents name is on the lease, its thier apartment, not yours.
You need to get thier name off, and keys yours only. They don’t need a copy of keys.
Change the lock.
I agree with everyone else. Embarrass them, make them not want to do it anymore. If they dont want to respect boundaries, show them what that really means.
How often does this happen, OP?
Weekly?
Have a friend stay and not tell your parents. Have said friend in on this and use your imagination. Would a female friend in underwear eating a pizza in the living room be enough of a shock? A male friend cooking in your kitchen?
You have to be able to be comfortable in your own home. Not knowing when people are popping in (whether you’re there or not) feels super intrusive and really inconsiderate.
Man I’d be hitting their refrigerator at 3 am. Running a load of rugs in the washer at 1am because you don’t want to hurt your washer and dryer. Next a load of sneakers and sandals in the dryer. Leave the condom wrappers on the side table of their couch. Grab their hooch and ‘borrow’ it.
Have their car alarm go off.
Seriously, does this affect your ability to settle in and study? If they take that seriously then all of a sudden your profs have unscheduled pop quizzes and tons of papers to write and you need the quiet time.
Get a deadbolt for your bedroom and a good doggie daycare for your pup.
I don’t understand. WHY do they keep coming over to your place AND bringing people?? Wtf is this about? Do they not have a home of their own?
Take your key back. Get a smart lock — set a temporary code that you share with them only when you need them to access your place. Change it back to a secret code when they shouldn’t be there. Also get a doorbell camera with audio and be ready and willing to confront them and their uninvited guests if/when they try to enter.
Put a sign on the door:’Attn. Mom’s name Dad’s name, stop bringing your weird friends into my apartment when I’m not home and without my approval.’
This is so weird. Your mom invites coworkers to go view her 19 year old daughter’s college apartment, even when you aren’t there? What the heck do they do there?
Hey, everyone, look at my daughter’s toaster!
Is your mom really self absorbed, and brags to people about how much she does for you?
I had to bite my tongue at my first impulse, which was to tell you to move and get your own place. However, this is really helping to keep you out of debt.
You should tell your parents that you feel violated to come home to find out strangers have been there when you weren’t there. Tell your mom that you can’t concentrate on school when your apartment is your parents’ social club. Tell them to please stop this, because this isn’t working for you.
If that doesn’t work, then be home as little as possible, finish your degree, and move to another state.
Ask them straightup in a respectfull mammer, if they help their daughter out, or is this a tit for tat arrangement?
Because if it is the latter, you can check if the money is worth it.
If you can afford some rent , could you look at a room in a group / share house ? Then you can say to the parents “ sorry but the house doesn’t allow visitors “
It’s weird. Why don’t they take their visitors to their place? It’s your place your paying the rent if they want to take over fully paying the rent then they can have people over this is rediculous
Your mom needs to see a doctor. This isn’t normal. Deter sightseeing by becoming a slob
Honestly you may as well still be living under their roof at this rate. At least then you are not paying full rent/bills etc for your own place – and still getting the exact same treatment from them re your privacy.
At least then you’d be clear on the boundaries and you could save up money for when you do finish college.
Meet the guests topless. Tell them that “oh, I wasn’t expecting anyone but my mum loves to bring people here unannounced.”
Why do they bring them to your apartment?
Do they walk your dog ever?
You must find your own place. This is extremely demoralising, they are treating you like a piece of property they can abuse whenever they feel like it.
It is abuse.
Can you not find a room in a dorm or a coshare that has costs you can manage yourself?
I think it would be worth extending your studies by a year or two, to be able to work a little more and have your own truly safe space.
Don’t take loans.
Give yourself time to think.
And move to a place they cannot have a key.
Or perhaps rent a room with a family or old lady, where the contract absolutely forbids having visitors. Not even for afternoon coffee, because they want their privacy.
I am very sorry this is happening to you, but you must set boundaries. Your mental health comes first.
Obviously…once you have your degree…move very far away. Maybe go abroad for several years.
Get the keys back
If you can change tje locks. They clearly don’t respect your boundaries. Even if they help you, it does not give them the right to go in there like they do. And bring ginger strangers I to your home….. why is that even a thing?! That is odd, proud parents or not. They can show pics on their phone at best
Updateme!
Take your weirdest friends to hang out at their house when they aren’t home but stay until they arrive back
Again again again until they get it!
Blame it on your dog, say the dog gets very upset, confused and protective when strangers enter. Say you spoke with a dog trainer and that person said to not let ever unfamiliar people in the apartment without going through some kind of special lengthy introductory routine with the dog.
I don’t understand how they are using your place as a hangout- isn’t it terribly inconvenient for them? Do they live and work nearby?
Could you get a roommate to share the expenses so that you don’t need to have them on the lease anymore?
Unfortunately, if this is part of why they help you financially then this is what you have to deal with. Too bad they don’t see how they are souring their relationship with you.
Why in heavens name would they disrespect you like that? Tell them to stop or change the lock.
Parents while I appreciate all the help that you have and are giving me. I also appreciate respect and privacy. The constant inviting ppl I don’t know into my home, my safe space is both disrespectful and an invasion of privacy. The key you have is for emergencies. Your continued disregard and disrespect of my boundaries will result in you no longer having a key at all. Also please understand that when we made this agreement we did acknowledge and agree that this would be my home not yours and therefore you are guests in my home. No more visitors. Especially ppl I don’t know and no more pop ups where I’ve not been asked or informed. I love y’all and thanks again.
They are inviting strangers into their young daughter’s apartment without permission. That is reckless and unsafe. Even if it’s ‘just family’ – because all those cousins and aunties and uncles have friends – girlfriends and boyfriends – who may tag along. How does she know they aren’t stealing or casing the place and maybe unlocking a window or patio door to come back later? Now all these people know where OP lives and what schedule she keeps, too. These parents need their head examined; this isn’t just about boundaries. This is about safety and common sense.
Install an alarm and don’t give them the code.
Get a nice big bong
Technically, they’re your roommates and have every right to invite over whomever they wish.
Why would your mom’s coworkers want to go to her kids apartment. Is there nothing else in the world they could do together???
I moved in with my son to make sure he could finish his bachelors without having to take out loans to pay rent. even though I live here with him I would not being anyone over without discussing it with him. That’s just common courtesy.
It’s really kinda weird that they keep bringing people over, even strangers?
Since they won’t respect your wishes
I would tell them the next time they do it, “I had some cash and it’s gone.. someone you brought over stole my money”
I’m not going to give you advice because I’m sure that the best advice has already been given. All I want to say is that’s it’s weird of your Mom to bring her coworkers and even weirder that her coworkers accept. Why wouldn’t they just go to your Moms?
Leave embarrassing things lying around. X-rated artwork on the wall, underwear in the sink, etc.
“Mom. You’re not listening to me.
I won’t depend on you forever, and I’m losing respect for you since you’re proving that you don’t respect me.”
Leave a sex toy in the kitchen sink. You will know for sure if they are coming in. They will toss or hide it from their guest
Put nude art on the walls. Leave your feminine hygiene products prominently displayed in both the bedroom and the bathroom. Getting the habit of letting dirty laundry pile up just outside the hamper. prominently display multiple boxes of condoms. Eventually they will get embarrassed and uncomfortable enough with their friends and family seeing all of these things on the regular that they will stop bringing people over hopefully. Or at least start letting you know that they’re coming so you can put your things away.
Put speakers throughout and every time somebody comes to the door, that you didn’t invite, play p*rn at full blast. Nothing will make you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable than walking in on that😂
Two choices here:
1 – change the locks (I prefer this option)
2 – leave your house a mess with dildos and all kinds of unmentionables strewn across every available area. Used condoms (even if not actually used), liquor bottles, joints, bongs leave your underwear and clothes everywhere. Invite friends to stay over. Claim your space.