She’s been nothing but kind to me. Everytime I’ve let my gaurd down she’s always supported me, but recently I’ve started to lose feelings for her. I hate myself for that and I’ve tried my best from the past few months to like her back but i simply can’t… I don’t wanna give her any false hopes and waste her time, can anyone advice me out on how am I supposed to break up in such a way she doesn’t get hurt much… Thanks…
How do I break up with my gf?
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She’s going to get hurt. There is no nice way to tell someone you don’t love them anymore. You just have fortify yourself and do it.
This works best if she’s in a group setting. Ask everyone to raise their hand if they are in a relationship, when she raises her hand say something like “you may want to put your hand back down”.
Just tell her how you truly feel. Maybe best way is to write it down as it’s hard to explain all things that you feel verbally. You can give that note or share that text in person and discuss afterwards. Also you have to discuss that as soon as possible as it’s worst when such decision comes from nowhere and there are no opportunities to do anything about it from either side.
How comfortable are you with “how to fake my death” or related questions being in your google search history?
You’ve gotta just bite the bullet and be honest, there’s no other way. It will hurt her no matter how you word it.
It’s like ripping a plaster off, painful initially but for the best in the long run. Trust me, staying with someone out of pity or fear of hurting them will slowly kill you so do it asap for both your sakes.
By text. Try ‘Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville’ I saw it work on tv once….
She will get hurt. The question is not how to do it without hurting her but how to do it in a way that is kind and honest.
Meet up with her. Tell her you need to talk to her.
When you’re in person with her say “I’m ending our relationship”. Don’t sugarcoat it or be wishy washy about it. She will be upset and maybe angry too. Be kind but firm. No there’s no changing your mind and there’s nothing she can do.
You can’t make it better for her, if she needs support then tell her to ring a friend or family member. Don’t accept her calls or meet up with her again after.
For what its worth you’re not a bad person and don’t hate yourself. You don’t owe her a relationship. But you do owe her honesty and kindness.
You already ready have a good start OP. Tell her what you told us.
1.) She’s an amazing, kind, and supportive person
2.) You care about her still (you’re bothering not to hurt her feelings )
3.) You don’t want her to waste her time and want her to be with someone who loves her as much as she loves that person.
4.) Do your best to make the break up as smooth as possible, helping her move or maybe giving her money for a counseling session. Your girlfriend deserves a love you can’t provide her.
dang she’s fat huh
You should essentially tell her exactly this. Be as honest as you possibly can, make sure she knows it was nothing that she did wrong and that she’s a good person, that she deserves to be loved. Tell her you respect her too much to conceal the truth, and that it would be morally wrong to waste her time when you know that your feelings for her have changed.
No matter what, she’s going to be upset and hurt. Just try your best not to be vague about what you’re saying, it will help her accept your decision and eventually move on. If you are wishy-washy she might think the relationship can be saved.
She’s gonna hurt . Just be honest.
I think your mind has been fucked-over with by horrible dating experiences with psycho bitches, that you got used to the thrill of being abused and when someone is nice, you lose interest.
You should rather work on yourself and ask yourself how you can work for the relationship instead of throwing your hands into the air after trying nothing, but passively watching your emotions.
A relationship is hard work and the more you work for it, the more you emotionally engage. Uness you are a psychopath. Then, you won’t engage any more.
No matter how, it’s going to cause pain and sadness. Are you sure it’s not just the end of the exciting honeymoon period of all relationships? I mean, I clearly am not head-over-heels with my wife like I was on our first month or so, but I do love her dearly. I just knew my feelings would change and they would not stay as vivid as they first were. A lot of breakups seem to be just people chasing that initial feeling like addicts chasing their first high.
Better tell her than string her along
You can’t control how she feels so make it about being as uncomplicated and speedy to get to the point as possible.
“Hey, I’m not sure if you’ve felt the disconnect recently that I have? If I’m being honest, I’m struggling to regain the spark we had and I’d rather leave it that way. I don’t want to progress further in our relationship and I don’t want to dull the memory of how much I have enjoyed our time together by having to work at it. I hope you’re ok. Do you want me to stay and chat for a bit or do you want me to accompany you somewhere?”