i turn 18 in two months, and for my birthday i kinda want to get a small nose piercing. just a little stud. i think it’ll look pretty on my face and I’ve been wanting one for a while.
thing is, my immigrant mother isn’t very partial to them. its funny, because she pierced my ears as a baby, but whenever she sees someone with a septum piercing or belly button, she does a pearl clutch. i’m scared she won’t accept me asking for a stud.
it doesn’t help she kinda sees me as an extension of herself? like, she’s always scared of “looking bad” or if i “represent her in a bad way” she gets embarrassed. she’s once said she wishes i were a little kid again so she could dress me up however she wants.
i promise she’s not crazy. she’s very caring and is a good person. she just has…odd beliefs.
please help!
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What would happen if you just did it after you turn 18?
I pierced my nose at 25. I called my mother to tell her in advance of visiting because I know she would not like it. When she saw it, she didn’t like it, but she got over it.
It’s your body and you don’t need to convince her since you’ll be an adult but you will have to deal with her reaction. I actually got a nose piercing when I turned 18 and my mom did hate it. But her clutching her pearls did not ruin my enjoyment of having a nose piercing. You can totally do it but you probably can’t convince her to like it or agree with it or pay for it.
Get it when you turn 18
So, I understand that you want your mom’s acceptance. However, you may never get it. You’re going to be 18. Just get it.
When you’re 18, you can pierce what you want. But you also have to live with her until you’re able to move out.
The day my parents dropped me off at University (I had been 18 for 2 weeks), I walked up the street to the mall and got 4 more ear piercings. This was 1992 so that was weird then. As the 90s progressed I got many more piercings!
My mom was livid, but she got over it. 30+ years later, those piercings did not spell the beginning of the end for me, nor did they define me. Nothing bad happened.
I have lots of piercings and tattoos.
Mom still doesn’t like it but we have a great relationship anyway.
Well tbh you don’t really have her convince her lol
Just go do it if you want, obviously a nose ring is not big deal and doesn’t change you as a person so you be the example you think she needs
So…… here’s the deal. Once you turn 18 you’re legally allowed to do what you want as long as you’re considered a legal adult.
That said. Your mother will be fine & will get over it. My father hates tattoos with a passion. Guess who has 13 of them? This chick. Guess who got over his daughter having tattoos? My father. Guess who started the trend of tattoos with the kids? Moi. I’m still the most heavily tattooed, but all of us have them & he just accepts it.
Ultimately, your parents will guide you into adulthood & teach you the values & beliefs they want you to uphold. It’s your choice what you do with those teachings. You also have to remember that your mother is going to have the beliefs that she does but they can change over time. It is what it is. It’ll be fine.
You don’t. Plenty of my friends were in your shoes, most of the parents got over it. Sometimes one still grumbles about it, and we’re in our 30’s.
The best thing you can do is research your piercer and keep it clean. You don’t want anything going wrong in general but also you’ll never hear the end of it too.
Wait til you are a18. No permission needed if in the U.S.
I’d wait until you were no longer living in her house. Good luck. It took my mother a very long time to let me go.
My mom is much the same. It’s rough, especially when you’re young and want to express your personality. I desperately wanted to dye my hair purple in high school but didn’t want to disappoint my mom. It took e until I was 42 to dye my hair and she still said “I see you dyed your hair and unnatural color.” Ugh.
It’s 2025. No one is going to judge you or your mom for a piercing. I say just do it. She will be mad initially, but I firmly believe we have to have at least one fight with a parent to become an independent person.
Tell her you’re pregnant and after she wakes up from passing out say, “Just kidding…I just got a little stud in my nose.” Might put things into perspective 😆
I think there’s a big difference between piercing ears and piercing the nose. I don’t think her beliefs are odd, it’s more of a personal preference and you’re her kid. My kids were not allowed to do such things before they turned 18. After that, they were adults and could make their own decisions. They, of course, we’re on their own for every aspect of it including the cost, healing process, and care of it. Any jewelry they wanted for the piercing was also on them.
Before spending any money on any of this, they had to first meet any obligations first. Car insurance, car payments, tuition bills, etc.
This is one of those cars where it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
If you’re 18, she should respect your autonomy
Your parents have full control over you until you realize that they don’t. You can’t make her approve, but you can make decisions for yourself when you’re ready. The age at which we are ready to make our own decisions and accept the consequences varies widely