I’ve recently lost my wife. She passed unexpectedly and was still young. We met young and had 20+ years together and I’m not coping well at all. Making her happy and comfortable was my reason for being.
All of the plans I’ve worked towards my entire adult life just became impossible. All my goals and progress evaporated. My home doesn’t feel like a home anymore and is painful to stay in. Luckily, we didn’t have children due to medical issues.
So, can anyone who’s been there before offer me some guidance please? How did you survive a loss like this?
Comments
I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, but I’ll be praying for strength and peace during this incredibly difficult time for you, bud. Sending you love.
try/widowers
It is the best place for these question. I know through personal experience
Just time mate. It will take time. Probably quite alot of it. But you will find new reasons for being and begin to rebuild. It will get easier, even if it’s never going to be easy.
I’m sorry for your loss.
My mother died recently (cancer). I know it helped my father to try to do things right to make her proud of him, even though she isn’t with us anymore.
Would your wife want you disintegrating in the face of her loss? I assume not, it’ll take time for the shock to subside.
I don’t think anybody can tell you how to get through this other than through time. I lost my first wife after 17 years of ovarian cancer. She was only 37 years old . somehow I muddled through. not very long after I met somebody new and wonderful and tomorrow is our 23rd anniversary. There’s something out there for you. You just have to get to that point. stay engaged with people. Let people that care for you do things for you. That’s a gift to them. They are grieving too, and they want to do something. Good luck.
It’s okay to not be okay right now, losing someone that close is huge. Just take it day by day lean on people you trust and maybe look into support groups. You don’t have to face it all by yourself.
My best friends gf died a few weeks before their wedding. I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, but time has helped him, and time will help you. It might take a long time though. Make sure you get all the help you need in this period.
One day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time.
One day at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a time.
Remember her, be compassionate with yourself, and lean on friends and family.
I’m really sorry you are going thru this.
I lost my wife and partner of 10 years, and mother of our daughter, about 9 years ago to a short battle with cancer. You’re feeling grief. It’s horrible now. Feel it. Don’t let yourself wallow in it for too long. But feel it. If you push it away, it’ll just eat you slowly and kill you. It will get better with time. You will establish a new baseline. It won’t be the same as your prior baseline, but it’ll be yours. You’ll learn to live your life and live with the loss at the same time. I cannot emphasize enough, feel it.
Things that will help you in the meantime… Therapy, friends, social groups, hobbies, experiencing your life.
as someone who has been there, don’t make any rash decisions
Some memories never fade. Some broken heart just stay broken. That’s why they make bourbon in Kentucky, it won’t make it any better but for a moment it doesn’t hurt as bad.💔
Get out there and get living, for her.
Grief counselling helped my mom a lot when my dad passed away. He was 52 when he passed so also quite young. Our local hospital had grief counselling programs as well as some through the churches. My dad was her one and only so she’s remained single for 20 years by choice and probably will remain for life. I’m very sorry for your loss.
This is honestly one of my own biggest fears.
I’ve dealt with dudes that have PTSD/survivors guilt. (Veterans). Honestly man, it’s a process. Feel what you feel. You have to. Don’t drown it, don’t numb it. Just feel it and go for a walk. Physical activity is crucial in the healing process. Don’t be ashamed to take time alone to think and reflect but also don’t be afraid to do group activities.
Well without kids you are going to be really lost for a really long time. Idk how to tell you to deal with it without family to be there for you and to count on you.
Hopefully you have a large and robust friend group.