We are both in our 20s. To sum it up me and my girlfriend got past the honeymoon stage and that’s it. There’s major incompatibilities in our relationship that can’t really be fixed, i’m a Christian and she is a Muslim, I am studying to be a scientist and she doesn’t believe in evolution(which can be incompatible with Christianity, I am aware)
I saw a reel she liked on instagram and it was about a groom was leading the Islamic prayer during the wedding, meaning he stopped the wedding for prayer time. Her liking this means she approved and that might be what we is looking for, but like I said i’m a Christian and i’m not even getting into the incompatibility of the science. We had serious arguments about me going to bars(I know half of this is about religion, but i’m working on it)
I won’t back down because I see it as my freedom, although I asked her to come with me and she said “She doesn’t enter environments with alcohol”.
Before this next part, for both not being an asshole and if you don’t believe me for religious reasons, I will never cheat. I recently just started a new internship, I plan to create a company in my field, and I met a girl who is also in her 20s who does the same thing as me. We talked about working together in the future(it’s a niche field with not many students in the first place, especially not in my country) and it’s clearly headed towards us spending a long time together, while in that professional environment we don’t get too close we are still planning our lunches around each other and going out to them alone and just talking and there is clear chemistry, even the other interns noticed.
All in all, it’s very clear that my life is very aligned with my coworker and the chemistry means that it is likely heading towards us spending more time together, while my girlfriend and I are opposites.
I helped my girlfriend start a company and love her presence, I just know that she is thinking marriage in the next couple of years and I want to focus on my career and to not string her along and also want someone who is more aligned with my life and where i’m headed, the honeymoon phase becoming over it became really obvious that it won’t work and I want her to be with someone who will give her what she wants and make her happy, which unfortunately is looking like it won’t be me.
Comments
Breaking up with someone because you are incompatible does not make you a bad person. Just be straightforward and honest with her.
I understand her as muslim. These are points that are important in islam. It is unfair to her to not be honest with her. If you are not aiming to marry her just talk to her and explain that it is not the future you are looking for. Eventually she will understand.
Dude, if we’re being real here, sounds like you two are on completely diff life paths rn. Sucks but it is what it is. Relationships ain’t only about love, compatibility matters big time. Peacefully break it off, wish her the best. You both deserve someone who complements your beliefs n goals. As for the co-worker, tread carefully bro. Mixing biz n pleasure ain’t always smooth sailing. Cheers!💯👊🏽🍻
Letting her go is the best you can do for both of you. She will be hurt but not as bad if you stay in the relationship, knowing there’s not a way you could see the long term working out. You’ll both feel free, just may take her time to realize it more
Are you the person she wants to marry? Because it sounds like you aren’t. I would start by asking her that question point blank. See how she responds. If she says something along the lines of “well, if you make these changes then yes” you can say I’m not changing. See how she responds then.
Some people would consider this manipulative but truthfully it’s leading her to the conclusion that you’ve already come to. I have to think she would feel better about the relationship ending if she makes the decision its not right.
It’s ok to break up if you find out along the way that the person you are dating is no longer compatible. It doesn’t make you a bad person if you are being honest.
What would make you a bad person is if during the break up you gave her a rundown of everything you didn’t like about the relationship, or attacked her beliefs ect. If you use the breakup conversation to make her feel small and bad about herself (which so many people do) then that would be a bad thing to do. You keep it simple- just “we aren’t compatible anymore” and leave it at that.
Stop worrying about being “the bad guy”. If you want to end it just end it. No excuses needed. You don’t owe anyone a relationship.
You’re being honest with yourself and you know the differences are things you don’t want to change. You’re not a bad person at all, honestly it’s the right thing to do for both of your sakes. She needs to be honest with herself too and what’s best for her is someone that aligns with her views
Just talk it out and be honest
Break up. This ain’t gonna work.