My ex (M29) is still reaching out after 2 years of no contact. He is begging me (F28) to give him a chance and to hear something from me and that he would accept no matter what I say just for him to have his closure (he blocked me 2 years ago) I don’t have the energy to reply ever anymore and I respect my current partner. At first I never blocked him anywhere in his social media but I never replied to any of his messages even if he reached out year after. He would continue messaging me and seems depressed. I didn’t want my hatred to add up and I’m working on having positive feelings in my life, seeing his messages makes me feel like a bad person sometimes. I blocked him a month ago and he found another way to reach out again.
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You are not a bad person for having boundaries. The only person at fault here is your ex for going against them.
It’s okay to feel empathy. I think empathy is an amazing quality to have, just don’t let it colour your actions in this case.
He doesn’t need your response for closure. He just wants to have contact with you again and he knows you have a good heart.
I’d focus on knowing that he is not truly reaching out to you from genuine care. He is just trying to hoover you back into a relationship, with total disrespect to you and your current relationship, zero concept of healthy boundaries. Keep him totally blocked.
It’s really normal to feel torn when someone from your past keeps trying to reconnect after so long… especially when it messes with the peace you’ve worked hard to build. You’re not obligated to respond, and that’s okay, your boundaries are valid, and they help keep you grounded. But have you ever thought about how sticking to them might actually make it easier for you to move on in the long run?
Block him and be done with it. He’s an ex for a reason. Don’t jeopardize your current relationship in order to communicate with someone from your past. He’s an adult and he can take care of himself.