Hello, I hope you’re having a wonderful day. I listen to your podcast, Father Knows Something, and Midwest Married. I’d genuinely appreciate your opinions. So… I love my husband. I have cultivated activities he would enjoy. I research topics that interest him. I read books he’s read. The list goes on, but the idea is that I pursue him and his desires, likes, interests, etc. I on the other hand only receive acknowledgment when I’ve begged for it (and you can’t truly enjoy something you’ve begged for iykyk).
In the beginning of our relationship I thought it was understandable since we were making two lives become one. Surely there would be conflict to an uncomfortable degree. Right? He grew up in a broken home as did I, so our barometers for “healthy relationships” were CLEARLY skewed.
We’ve been married for 11 years and together for 12 years. Our last fight something in me just… died? I used to fight for us or have hope. Now, now I feel hollow. I don’t even know what I’m fighting for. I know I’m supposed to love him regardless if he loves me. I’m looking back on our entire relationship and see no desire to KNOW me; to know what makes me who I am.
I say all that to say, he is not evil he just doesn’t love me. I can’t change him. I can only change me. So, how do I find peace and joy in a marriage where it is one sided? We have three young children and I’m a SAHM if that changes your advice. Divorce is not an option.
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Backup of the post’s body: Hello, I hope you’re having a wonderful day. I listen to your podcast, Father Knows Something, and Midwest Married. I’d genuinely appreciate your opinions. So… I love my husband. I have cultivated activities he would enjoy. I research topics that interest him. I read books he’s read. The list goes on, but the idea is that I pursue him and his desires, likes, interests, etc. I on the other hand only receive acknowledgment when I’ve begged for it (and you can’t truly enjoy something you’ve begged for iykyk).
In the beginning of our relationship I thought it was understandable since we were making two lives become one. Surely there would be conflict to an uncomfortable degree. Right? He grew up in a broken home as did I, so our barometers for “healthy relationships” were CLEARLY skewed.
We’ve been married for 11 years and together for 12 years. Our last fight something in me just… died? I used to fight for us or have hope. Now, now I feel hollow. I don’t even know what I’m fighting for. I know I’m supposed to love him regardless if he loves me. I’m looking back on our entire relationship and see no desire to KNOW me; to know what makes me who I am.
I say all that to say, he is not evil he just doesn’t love me. I can’t change him. I can only change me. So, how do I find peace and joy in a marriage where it is one sided? We have three young children and I’m a SAHM if that changes your advice. Divorce is not an option.
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Why can’t you divorce?