How do I fix my life before my parents find out?

I just want to preface that this post might be quite long and, lack a clear direction. So I apologise in advance.

So, I’m 16M, turning 17 in 2 months time. For the following to make sense I should preface that, I live in scotland, and in scotland you are allowed to drop out of highschool/secondary when you turn 16.

Anaways, I’ve been dealing with depression for a very long time. I want to say since the start of highschool, but I honestly don’t know, my working memory is pretty awful and I dont really remember a whole lot from before I turned 16, much less highschool. What I can tell you is that I’m pretty sure I have some sort of anhedonia. Most days I feel nothing. Literally nothing. I think it could be alexithymia as I dont really remember a time were I havent felt nothing, but I’m trying to be hopeful. That means no happiness or sadness, these are weird concepts to me and I can understand them logically, but I don’t feel them.

During highschool, I wasn’t really picked on, but nobody liked me, and it was for good reason. Because of that, I’ve never had any friends. I’ve never went to a friends house, or hung out or anything like that, mabye when I was 10 years old in primary but definitely not recently. It didn’t really bother me until recently, where I’m now starting to feel some genuine pain from loneliness but I wouldn’t describe it as sad.

Anaways, last year I quit highschool. I didn’t have a plan or a future, and i quite simply made it up to convince my parents it was the right thing to do. I never studied for my exams, got B’s and C’s and it was whatever. I could have done alot better but I couldn’t be arsed clearly (I was projected all A’s because I was considered to be intelligent, seems not haha). The real truth as to why I quit was so i could kill myself. I wanted to see my exam results, picture how my life could have been and then kill myself the next day regardless of the outcome. I’ve had multiple attempts before and after that time (around August last year), but that one was the one time my parents found out. I got assessed and it was also around this time it was mentioned I might have autism. I declined to get tested because I dont want that on my medical record tbh and personally I lack alot of the traits they mention, at worst i would be high functoning and id much rather go undiagnosed jn that case. I massively downplayed the whole event and my parents have slowly forgotten about it over time.

The one thing I will mention is that that day was the first time I saw my father cry. It was the only time I’ve ever felt genuine emotion, that being guilty and I still don’t like thinking about it. Breaking someone like that was a fucked up thing for me to do. I’ve never really opened up to them before or after that moment, to avoid upsetting them.

Anaways after that I started college in August, and I stuck with it until about January, when I quit. My parents dont know and I continue to go to “college” on college days to this day. I told myself I would look for a job instead and that hasn’t happened. I tried thinking about telling my parents all this, and that hasn’t happened.

So what the fuck do I do? I have 2 months at best before my parents will find out one way or another that I’m completely screwed.

Sorry I think I’m missing some context there but that’s all the info I’ve got in my head right now. Huge thanks to anyone who reads all of that.