Woman here. I’m attractive, but I was an ugly duckling growing up so I never grew into my femininity or learned to flirt.
Men – what makes you feel flirted with? Bonus points for stories / literal Youtube links of girls flirting, I’m that mystified. Sometimes when I see girls flirting it seems like they just act ditsy or stupid, but there must be something more to it.
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Sexual innuendo, or flirty double entendres usually works as a good starting point. Or just a small touch on the arm shoulder. A wink, a genuine smile, held eye contact. Compliments work as men unless model attractiveness rarely get random compliments so it’s a sign you like them.
The best flirting is the direct type. ‘Hey would you like to go out’, ‘You’re good looking’, etc.
Smile. Laugh. Touch his shoulder. Fiddle with your hair. Compliment him, especially his appearance. Stand just a little closer than people normally would. Go out of your way to talk to him.
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Its gonna depend on the guy. Some of us are good at reading body language and intent. Others are not.
For me? I generally ignore women who flirt by acting ditsy.
Don’t even bother with this.
Dating is an economy, not a science.
Use your currency (personality, looks, etc etc etc) on the right man and everything will fall into place.
Maybe I’m not the norm but I don’t enjoy being flirted with because I don’t like verbal games. If it doesn’t come natural to you, better do what does or else it might come off as inauthentic.
An honest compliment will always go a long way with men See something you genuinely like about him – smile, clothes, the color if his shirt? say just that.
Compliments, eye contact, showing interest in my life and even slight touches can do the trick. Obviously dressing in something appealing to the eye can elevate that as well (as in more traditionally feminine outfits).
There is more to it… theres a model / singer who is super attractive who doesnt seem to be able to flirt, the fact i can see that over TV / radio says its more a whole person thing (i wont go in to it here), but there will be many other symptoms.
Do you enjoy anything mechanical and maths?
Do you prefer guys to be abit more direct with you, in that you might want to be like others flirting but really the idea of guys not being direct is something you wouldn’t like?
Compliment us. It’s very rare that it happens and when it does, it makes our day… and we remember.
My current fiancé was pretty direct.
We randomly met at an singles event(we did know each other from uni). It was nice to catch up, but we didn’t get that much time. Wasn’t sure how much, or if she flirted at all. She texted me the next morning, and asked me out. And we been together ever since.
Showing interest is key, having fun and maybe like small touches can help.
I do think that you have to show that you are treating whomever you are flirting differently than who you aren’t flirting with. I can’t tell if someone is nice or flirting, and bet most guys will miss hints as well.
Being direct is unusual and is something guys aren’t used to, so most guys will probably appreciate it.
I waa going to make a long comment but a lot of good answers here.
Ask me out or simply come chat calmly about something you might see on me like a book, coffee or whatever else and I’ll take it from there. It can just be a compliment on my hair or clothes.I’ll propose a coffee and I can lead the conversation.
You just have to keep giving me attention basically and I’ll see that as flirting, just generally being interested in me.
I don’t want you to be dumb or ditsy just genuinely interested in me, slight touches too like rubbing shoulders etc.
Some guys won’t understand that you’re flirting, especially if you’re not good at it. Also, for many guys, a women flirting with them is like a unicorn, it won’t happen to them so it’s the last thing they’ll expect.
See this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw
Best to just strike up a conversation and ask him out for coffee.
just a compliment will do for most men feel like it’s rare enough that even a simple one would be seen as flirting
You look at a guy from across the bar,
Make direct and contact and hold their gaze,
When you know you have their attention, and they are staring back, maybe out of curiosity, maybe out of being weirded out, you set the tone by slowly raising your drink up and start playing on the straw with your tongue.
Interpretive dance (usually some form of the robot) almost always does the trick. Get increasingly aggressive and speed up until your intentions are clear.
Just paying attention to a man. Talking about normal everyday life. If he is enjoying this then if an opportunity comes along a causal physical touch will make him feel more attracted to you than before. This is a good example of a simple way to start Good Luck
laugh at our jokes
I’m gonna be blunt. 80% of women will go for 20% of men (roughly). Those 20% men will know and probably expect you to flirt with them. The rest will be oblivious unless you are absolutely explicit. You need to distinguish them. If you notice that a few of your girl friends are falling for the same man as you are – that’s probably a man who knows when he is being approached even if he doesn’t admit it. I’d say that’s your starting point. From there on every man is different but there are a few general starters. I’m gonna list one.
Imagine you want to have a coffee with a man just to learn more about them as a friend. It’s as easy as “hey, wanna grab a cup of coffee”. Most men won’t recognise that they are being approached here so don’t think they reject you if they decline. It could be many other reasons. Try a few times or ask for an appropriate time. Once you have the coffee – be nice, show interest, ask questions, sneak in a compliment or two. If you like to move forward – “spending time with you is a real pleasure, I’d like to learn more about you. Would you like to go out on a date with me?”.
Then post on reddit “what to do on a first date”.
Keep it light and funny and positive. Flirting is less of comming on hard and more of a fun build up of jokes and little acknowledgements. The ditsy stuff “works” on some guys when it’s a clear 180 from the usual method of being and talking. It’s like a brick that hits you in the face that says “hey she’s trying to flirt”, but honestly – natural jokes and fun pokes are 1000 times better, at least in my case.
Keep it light, funny, uplifting and roll with the funny and you’ll do wonders. Smart and secure guys see this as a fun teasing game.
Physical touch.
We’re really stupid.
You could say, “Hey, want to fuck sometime?” and we’d be like, “This is a test.”
But put a hand on our arm or touch our face with your fingers, and we’ll be wrapped around your fingers.
We can’t touch you.
You can touch us.
Just be friendly and chat… if he reciprocates, invite the guy out for coffee. Guys will universally take that as a compliment. In my experience, young women are very very awkward when trying to make a move, so you shouldn’t feel awkward about being awkward. (Best story here is a coffee shop cashier who caressed my hand when I was paying at the drive through.) On the date itself? Be warm, friendly, use physical proximity, touch, tease (about harmless stuff). Try to keep things lighthearted and fun.