When I was 17, I acted on a lot of fantasies that usually involves something non consensual or bdsm in nature (keep in mind, nothing physical happened thankfully and everything happened on discord chats). I barely remember what happened now but all I know is that since I consume a lot of non con fiction (even now but I’ve mellowed out and have been on and off it since it doesn’t give me the satisfaction anymore), it made people uncomfortable which caused me to lose a lot of friends. I’ve been trying to lay off the hardcore porn but sometimes I relapse and it made me remember of the bad old times so now I feel extra bad. I wanna change but I feel like it’s already too late to even start. I can’t change the past and the only reason why some people stayed is because they don’t know about these fantasies that I had. What do I do?
How do I forgive myself for stuff I’ve done at age 17?
r/Advice
Comments
You’re not a bad person for what you explored at 17, especially since no one was physically harmed. That was a confusing age and the guilt you feel now shows you’ve grown. It’s normal to have conflicted feelings about dark fantasies but what matters is how you live now. You can’t undo the past but you can learn from it and make better choices. Not everyone will understand and that’s okay. You’re not too late. You’re already changing.
You were 17 and online. You can’t change it, but you can learn and do better now. It’s not too late. Therapy helps, blocking the old stuff helps, focusing on who you want to be helps. Let yourself move forward.
I have struggled with my actions in the past I’m sure everyone does, the only thing I can say is learn from your experiences. Make better choices for you and your future don’t dwell. I find new hobbies instead of finding time to think.
It’s good that you’re reflecting and trying to change that’s a big step. You were 17 and still learning. What matters now is what you do going forward. Try to be kind to yourself, seek support if needed, and focus on becoming the person you want to be. Growth is always possible