You can’t make him but you can make it more likely to happen to developing a relationship with him. Get it know him. Talk about things with him. Be vulnerable with him.
And know that he may not want to talk about some subjects with you, regardless of close you are.
Careful asking questions you might not want to know the answers to. I’m 56, a lot has happened in the last 60 years – casual cruelty you can’t even imagine was par for the course not that long ago.
More than one person from my childhood would go to jail now.
If you’ve asked directly and he clams up, then he either doesn’t want to remember those times, or doesn’t want to reveal them to you. You’ll have to ask others who knew him, or let it go. He has earned his right to privacy.
Ask open-ended questions. Things that require more than a yes or no answer.
"What’s the funniest thing you remember from elementary school as a kid?" How many times did he cut school or fake illness to get out of tests?
"How did your Dad/Mom teach you how to (activity)?"
"What one thing about Grandpa stands out the most from your early childhood?"
You do not say how old he is. But maybe ask him about his favorite TV show as a kid. Did he tape songs off the radio? Where did he have his first kiss?
Does he talk about his past at all? People who like to reminisce usually do so, without being encouraged to. If he does, you could build on it next time he brings up a memory.
You might work your questions in to what you’re doing at the time. For instance, if you’re watching television, "what shows did you enjoy when you were growing up?" Or you could ask his advice about a problem you’re having at work, and ask if he had similar issues.
If you have trouble getting him to reminisce, it’s possible he doesn’t have vivid memories, and it’s as frustrating to him as it is to you. Check out r/SDAM
Comments
You can’t make him but you can make it more likely to happen to developing a relationship with him. Get it know him. Talk about things with him. Be vulnerable with him.
And know that he may not want to talk about some subjects with you, regardless of close you are.
Don’t bug him, some people just are more stoic and don’t like to relive the past or reminisce.
Why, if he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. My dad was a semi famous POW, nope didn’t talk about it much.
Careful asking questions you might not want to know the answers to. I’m 56, a lot has happened in the last 60 years – casual cruelty you can’t even imagine was par for the course not that long ago.
More than one person from my childhood would go to jail now.
Start asking him questions about his life. Ask him about his childhood, his years as a teen, everything before what you remember
If you’ve asked directly and he clams up, then he either doesn’t want to remember those times, or doesn’t want to reveal them to you. You’ll have to ask others who knew him, or let it go. He has earned his right to privacy.
Ask open-ended questions. Things that require more than a yes or no answer.
"What’s the funniest thing you remember from elementary school as a kid?" How many times did he cut school or fake illness to get out of tests?
"How did your Dad/Mom teach you how to (activity)?"
"What one thing about Grandpa stands out the most from your early childhood?"
You do not say how old he is. But maybe ask him about his favorite TV show as a kid. Did he tape songs off the radio? Where did he have his first kiss?
Was he in scouting? Alter boy? Teacher’s pet?
Does he talk about his past at all? People who like to reminisce usually do so, without being encouraged to. If he does, you could build on it next time he brings up a memory.
You might work your questions in to what you’re doing at the time. For instance, if you’re watching television, "what shows did you enjoy when you were growing up?" Or you could ask his advice about a problem you’re having at work, and ask if he had similar issues.
If you have trouble getting him to reminisce, it’s possible he doesn’t have vivid memories, and it’s as frustrating to him as it is to you. Check out r/SDAM