Hey everyone, I’m 18, and I’m in a tough spot with my long-distance girlfriend. She’s from Minnesota, I’m from Romania, and we were together on and off for about a year. The relationship has been complicated, and now she’s cut all contact with me. I desperately want her back but don’t know how. Here’s everything that happened:
Our Relationship:
We dated for about a year, mostly online because of the distance.
I struggle to express feelings clearly, and she once said I might be a sociopath because of that.
She has serious mental health issues, including a stay in a psych ward, which she once said she missed.
She struggles emotionally and has borderline personality disorder (BPD), which she mentioned.
The Party Night and Crisis:
On the same night, I went to a party where I was drunk. Before leaving, she seemed a little anxious about me cheating and told me “don’t cheat.”
At the party, one of my friends saw me texting her and took a photo, then shared it with others. I panicked because long-distance relationships aren’t accepted here, and I didn’t want anyone to know.
I messaged her to unfollow me on Instagram to hide our connection from my friends but didn’t explain why (I was drunk and scared).
I slept for about an hour at the party, woke up around noon, and messaged her that I was awake.
She replied quickly with “hii” and “hi,” but I didn’t reply immediately because I was still drunk and out of it.
Later, she sent messages like “guess who relapsed,” “wooohooo,” and “I’m sorry I can’t,” which made me think she was struggling seriously.
We then had a long Discord conversation that night where she talked about being scared, drunk, and self-harming. She said she cut herself that night. I tried to comfort her but felt overwhelmed too.
After the Night:
Eventually, she blocked me on Discord and Instagram and disabled messages from anyone she doesn’t follow, so I have no way to contact her now.
What I Did After:
I wrote a long journal entry pouring out everything I feel my love for her, how obsessed I am, and how scared I am to lose her.
I edited some of my old Discord messages to include parts of that journal, hoping she might see it if she ever checks old chats.
I’m thinking about editing my last messages to say I’m giving her space and that I’ll be there if she ever needs me.
Other Important Context:
Over the year, I had many attempts to reconnect after being blocked or ignored sometimes trying very hard, sometimes less.
I don’t want to push or pressure her but I’m terrified of losing her forever, especially with zero contact now.
I’ve messed up communication before, especially when drunk or panicked.
I don’t post on social media, so she wouldn’t see indirect messages from me.
I don’t want advice about cutting her off or about toxicity I want to reconnect healthily and get her back.
TL;DR:
My long-distance girlfriend blocked me after a tough night where she relapsed and self-harmed. I tried to comfort her during the night but wasn’t fully there because I was drunk and panicked. Now she won’t talk to me, and I have no way to reach her. I want to reconnect without hurting her or myself. How do I get her back?
Comments
You don’t.. sorry.
It’s long distance and you’re only 18. You’ve both got a lot going on, things sound super unhealthy and unstable to begin with. I think you accept this thing is over and move on, trying to find a more sustainable and realistic relationship that isn’t a crazy level of LD. You’re just a single button click away from being blocked and removed from her life.. and that’s been clicked now.
Why would you want that? What do you get from this relationship? And, why would you like to stay in contact with someone who apparently does not want the same from you, hence the blocking.