So he says he has this rash on his groin. Or he’s been too tired or sore or what not. But I’ve found evidence that he is still masturbating. How do I get over my feelings of being upset about this? For some reason I don’t really like it when he masturbates. I feel it interrupts our sex life. Especially if he turns me down. Help please. I’m not trying to be a bad person. but it does make me feel inadequate.
How do I get over my partner rejecting sex with me but continuing to masturbate?
r/Advice
Comments
He’s either addicted to porn or he doesn’t fuck with u 😭 my thoughts tho idk
? I mean he doesn’t have to do anything with you.
You can tell him how it makes you feel, but don’t expect him to change his mind.
Have you ever heard that it is his choice?
You’re not a bad person your feelings are completely valid. Rejection hurts especially when it feels inconsistent. Try having an open calm conversation with him. Let him no it’s about control but about feeling unwanted or disconnected connection and honesty cane ease that insecurity
just tell her u need sex
and he still won’t ?
the girls on chaturbate are hotter than you
As horrible as it will sound. You need to figure out if this is make or break for you. Feeling inadequate sexually will fester in you. Then when an outburst happens, he will blame you for being ‘too much’.
You need to think about yourself and your needs. While he may feel inadequate for you, try to sit down and have a civil conversation about how you feel and don’t take no for an answer if he tries to avoid the conversation. If he wants you, he will understand and attempt to communicate it. If he says he doesn’t want to have intercourse with you and is fine with how it is, you will need to make the hard decision on whether you can handle that or walk away.
Please talk to him. Start by telling him you are insecure about why he avoids sex with you but masturbates instead. I am a man; I do not think his masturbation adversely affects your sex life IF it is in addition to shared physical intimacy rather than INSTEAD OF. I have openly told my wife, with whom I have sex once or twice per week because her sex drive is lower than mine, that I “self-pleasure” because of the differences in our sex drives. In fact, I find that shared intimacy enhances my fantasies. One possibility is your sex has become too routine, in which case you can spice it up a bit. If it becomes too much of an issue you may want to look into marriage counseling.
The rash may be making him worried about transferring it to you.
You can’t if you two aren’t sexually compatible.
And if he’s picking masterbation over actual sex that’s somewhat of a sign. It could be addiction to masterbating or porn but if he’s not willing to have sex with you at a minimum frequency that you’re okay with…… might need to rethink the relationship.
Now there’s some other things that could be going on. That rash…… he could seriously have one and it could possibly be infectious. Or he could just be a cautious person.
He could have legitimately had a busy week and thought pulling on his cock for a few min before passing out to sleep would be a better decision than having lengthier sex.
Maybe he got an STD and is embarrassed to tell you but doesn’t want to give it to you.
You need to talk to him, if he blows you off you need to make it a big deal. Ask him honestly why he doesn’t want to fuck anymore. And if that discussion goes no where…… looks like you aren’t compatible.
You’re not a bad person for letting this get to you. It’s a weird, bordering on shady behavior for someone who loves you to be consistently dodging sex without the communication to explain what’s going on.
Having a calm and open discussion would probably be the best way to handle this. It must feel pretty hurtful to face rejection like this, and you’re allowed to seek an answer longer than « its not you », but he doesn’t seem to want to provide it, which he is entitled to.
Externally, it does seem like he has some form of addiction, and making him feel safe and listened might be key to him opening up
If he fails to open up, it might be time for you to reconsider your relationship, as you are also entitled to feel satisfied and desired
Extra info might be helpful to understand your context: how old are you guys? How long have you been dating? Living together ? What was the « proof »?
He may be experiencing performance issues. Is he experiencing stress at work , home life , family any of those things. If he knows he is having issues it get even worse when he is trying to be intimate with you and the pressure to perform will be too much then he stop. Can’t even continue. You need to have a serious talk with him about what is on his mind. I can bet you that he is worried about not being able to satisfy you. Add that pressure to whatever else he has going on and it just makes it worse.
Believe him when he says it’s not you. When he hear how disappointed you are because he can’t start or finish it just adds to everything else. He probably does not want to start something he can’t finish so he will say he is not in the mood or whatever. As for masturbation? There no pressure on him to finish or be good so he is able to get off that way. It really isn’t you in the sense that you don’t turn him. It’s him putting all this pressure on himself and everything else in life. Talk it out and hear him. It won’t be easy for him admit, so keep that in mind. Good luck
Any examples given are just to explain what I was talking about. You need to stay within what you and he finds comfortable and go from there. Good luck
Have you considered opening up the relationship or leaving? Ive been with plenty of people and there is a total of one time that I lost attraction while seeing them. It happened within a week of meeting though. I would never lock myself into a relationship that the sexual compatibility was wrong
He should make an appointment to see a physician about the rash. (or walk into a Planned Parenthood if they still have those) That can’t be comfortable.
You need to get the sizzle back. This might help him stop what he’s doing and focus on you.
https://abbymedcalf.com/get-the-sizzle-back-in-your-relationship/
Is he gay ,❓