20M. I have a strong feeling that I need to have a huge impact on the world and be very influential. Along with that I want recognition and admiration from people.
I think about it every day. I’m constantly daydreaming about a life like that.
I know this is totally unrealistic and will probably leave me disappointed. How do I get rid of this urge?
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it shows you’re seeking purpose and connection. Rather than aiming for fame, try focusing on making a difference in small, meaningful ways through your work, relationships, and daily actions. True fulfillment comes from living with purpose, not from being seen. Start with what you can control, stay steady, and let any recognition come naturally.
Redefine your definition of impact.
Maybe.
Look at the lives of spiritual leaders and how they completely changed the word by doing very little and living a frugal yet unbound life. Spoke few lines but insipired generations and centuries.
It enticing to want to be recognized in today’s world considering that new stars are being created out of thin air everyday and seems realistic. However, even in today’s world, it’s very unrealistic.
Seems to me that you seek validation in the form of admiration from others. You may not even realize it but there may be someone that looks up to you and you wouldn’t even know. You’re fairly young but one day I think you’ll reach a point where you no longer want to satisfy people perceptions of you but would rather focus your energy on improving yourself as a human, citizen, and a son.
There’s nothing wrong with an aspiration. If you have the actual desire to make an impact, start small. Go to your city council meetings, maybe run for office or start volunteering for a candidate you support. You’re only 20, you have the whole world ahead of you, and can make the dreams come true that you have.
I used to be like that but I realized I just want to be happy making music and perming in medium to small seized venues around the world with a small but dedicated fanbase
You are basically daydreaming about external validation.
Just know that external validation is flimsy and frail and can disappear just as quickly as it appears. When you base your own worth on external validation you basically give up control over your own sense of self and place it at the whim of strangers. Which means that strangers have the power to make you or break you.
When you on the other hand base your self image on internal validation you build up a strong structure for yourself. You are in control. Your self image isn’t at the whim of others. It comes from you. Nobody can make nor break you – but you.
Which kind of person do you really want to be?
Focus on what truly matters to you and how you can contribute positively to the world around you. Start small! Volunteer, get involved in your community, or pursue a passion that excites you. You’ll find fulfillment in the journey itself rather than just the end goal. Remember, it’s about the connections you make and the lives you touch along the way.
I also had a very deep desire to be famous when I was your age. And I pursued it by getting myself a gig singing in a local nightclub. After a while, people started to recognize/come up and talk to me on the street when I’d just be out grocery shopping or otherwise going about my normal life – and it freaked me right the hell out. It had never occurred to me that with being famous comes a loss of privacy that I could not see myself living comfortably without. Even on that lowercase C celebrity level, I realized that the fame and admiration I sought come at a price that, for a lot of people is just not worth it. It’s exhausting feeling like you always have to be “on” in public. Anonymity is a luxury, and to straight-up steal a line from John Mulaney, likeability is a prison. Once you achieve it, you have to keep earning it over and over again.
I still get strong urges to be famous so that I can have access to the people I admire who are famous and be seen as a peer, but I realize that the sacrifice I would have to make to do that would make me a miserable person. Just some food for thought.
Don’t get rid of it, you have a fire, that’s what you feel. A desire to grow from a small ember into a blaze. Just find what you enjoy and what you want to be known for and start practicing/learning it everyday, obsessively.
It’s not narcissistic to desire prestige, just keep your ego in check and know that you’re doing it for yourself to achieve greatness, not for the perception of others. If you do it for the second reason you will not grow.
You’re manifesting!
There’s a significant hormonal complement to this. It will wear off in your 20s and 30s
it’s not unrealistic, especially nowadays with social media, but you need to put in the work for 5-10 years to master your field and some marketing