There’s this creepy old dude that’s bothering me (18f) at work. He randomly walked up to me one day when i was on my break outside. I heard someone breathing heavily and i looked up from my phone and he goes to me, “oh, are you on tinder talking to all the men?” and then he winked at me. I remember thinking wtf? Who says this shit? I don’t know you like that you weirdo.
Remembering he was a regular customer, i tried to be polite as possible, i just told him, no. I don’t do that and I have a bf. Hoping he would get the hint to leave me alone. But no, he started asking me old I was and how long I had been with my bf. Then he started going on a rant about how he can’t trust people, how unfaithful people are and all this other bs. Eventually, I cut him off because I had to get back to work thankfully.
Since that weird encounter, he still comes into my work. Always looking at me really creepily, like kinda sexual. Always eyeing me up and down. I hate having to serve him. He always says weird comments like, “you look good, today”. “Your hair looks better that way”. Just saying stuff about my appearance.
And if i’m doing other work on the floor, he keeps walking up to talk to me and standing way too close. I always take a step back, but he will move forward. Like he has no concept of personal space. Sometimes, when he’s standing from afar, I can see him just staring at me and it makes me really uncomfortable.
I’ve told my boss and other co-workers about him and they kinda just shrugged it off, although they did agree with me that he was creepy. My boss also told me that the guy asked him for a job. I started freaking out but my boss told me not to worry he didn’t hire him and said no.
I want him to leave me alone but I am afraid to say something to him.
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Frustrating. If he comes in again, you could ask your boss to intervene and say, “May I help you? She is busy with her work.” If someone else could serve him during your shift, that would be good. And don’t go anywhere alone when you’ve spotted him. Ask coworkers to keep an eye on you owing to the concern.
Where are you located? US?
Basically just be really shitty to him. Serve everyone in front of him. Overcharge him. If he talks to you be outright rude – “I didn’t ask for a running commentary on my appearance”
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Ask your boss – one on one – to help you out with the guy. Say he makes you nervous and not want to come to work. If he’s a decent boss he will push back on the old perv. If that doesn’t work then start hiding from him when he is around – he may move on. Failing all that you may need to get another job. Starter jobs are easy to find
How old is he?
“Back in the day” something like this was happening to my girlfriend. I told the manager they could handle it or I could handle it.
Then my girlfriend yelled at me.
Then she said, “That was cool.”
Management talked to him and I guess told him his options, that she had a crazy jealous boyfriend. I gather the whole thing was like “we think you’re fine, but we’re scared of this guy.”
Then he didn’t show up again.
In addition to what everyone else has said, you will need to stop taking your breaks outside in the general public for a while
Try to go somewhere else
Sorry
If you have his name, you can file a police report and let them know that he keeps coming to your job and making you feel uncomfortable.
Regular customer or not, this isn’t normal behavior.
Treat him like he has dementia. Loud, slow, talk. When he gets too close, talk to people near you and say stuff like, “oh, is Mr, Grimsly forgetting about personal space again, let’s help him.” Then look at him and say, “Mr. grimsly, remember, unless you’re family, we generally leave enough space for jesus between us”
Like, be as kind as sweet and doting and just do not believe for a second he’s not an old pathetic man who has forgotten how to interact with society and treat him just like that…
Call him Mr. Whatever his last name is. Like, you’re trying to not friendzone but dementia grandpa zone him.
Try out one or two “Mr. grimsly, remember we keep our napkins on the table or on the lap, not on the floor”
You get the idea?
ETA: oh, you’re 18, you might mean a 32 year old… yeah in that case (not dementia old enough), your boss needs to set him straight. Fuck old guys feelings. He’s being inappropriate, you told your boss, now make him do something about it or email his boss. Don’t bullshit. You standing up for yourself is the good and right thing to do.
I think your work needs to be more supportive! Boss needs to step in more for sure.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, it sucks working as a teenage girl face to face with customers sometimes. I used to experience this weird stuff too. I had one particular weirdo that would always try to talk to me just to tell me how attractive I am. My colleagues would jump in and say they needed me at the back. Boss didn’t ever bother coming into our department and he was useless, my colleagues would do what they could.
People really need to learn basic human decency, we’re just trying to earn a small wage as students/teens.
He’s going to need two things:
For you to tell him that he’s a customer and not a friend or person to date.
For a police officer to back you up if he keeps up his behavior. It’s a crime to stalk/harass people.
I’d also suggest you tell your manager that you’re at the point where these are what you need to do. He should get the message and step up to help you.
Your boss is shirking his duty. Part of his job is to protect his employees from harassment. If he fails to do that, you might need to take it to another level, like going to the police.
Have your boyfriend come in and say something to him.
Tell him to fu*k off, end of.
“I do not appreciate the comments and remarks you have made towards me, so can you please stop? This is your one and only warning.”
There you go.
You may also want to tell your boss to do something about it as you can file with the Labor Board, which states you are to work in a harassment-free workplace. If your boss allows this behavior, they can be cited or fined for allowing it.
Next time he does it Walk to an employees only section near a male co-worker and call 911 and tell them the fact he has been stalking you for days.
Start putting a roll of quarters in your pocket when he arrives.
Really your boss should be dealing with this.
In the absense of your boss doing their job properly you can politely and firmly confront him on his unacceptable behavior; ie
“Please stand a little further back, your making me uncomfortable”
“Please dont make comments like that, your making me feel uncomfortable”.
And even if it keeps going – “Please leave me alone, I asked you top stop and your not doing so. I dont want to have to escalate things.”
This is scary. I’d make a police report just so they have it noted on file and report it to management every time it happens. You need a trail of evidence in case anything ever happens
Boss needs to step up. Hey quit bothering my employees!
Tell him your a dude transitioning to a lady
If possible, covertly get his name & photo. Stop by the police department & ask for a detective. Tell him the creepy & inappropriate conversation this man is having with you repeatedly. Ask the cop to have someone stop by to observe when possible, when he’s likely to be there, to judge for themselves. If he’s that aggressive in public, he might be doing worse elsewhere. Could be on the sex offender list. Just FYI to them & drop it. With him directly, just firmly & calmly say ‘Sir, you need to back up out of my space.’ ‘Sir, is there something here at (name of business) I can help you with? If not, I have work to do.’ ‘Sir, I am not interested in your personal opinions. Please leave me alone.’ Say it a little louder so people notice, so if it continues, it’s now clearly unwanted attention. Or leave the area when he’s there. Or tell your boss you refuse to engage with someone who’s deliberately making you feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately it’s very typical of some men. I was always strictly business. Changed the topic or told them to stop (had to do this many times with coworkers, all married).
Tell your boss that you refuse to interact with him and give him the reasons why.
Dudes are creeps. Tell him you use to be a guy. You’re having trouble with the transition and think you should have been a worm.
Just start ignoring him. Or give him one word answers.
Email the corporate office of your company. Let them know there’s a creepy customer and your management has failed to keep you feeling safe at the work place.
Ask other employees to help out. If you are running a register for example use a code only known by coworkers and call when he is like 2 away from the register and one steps up to replace you..make preferably. When he asks where you went they can say you make her uncomfortable with how close you get to her, comments you make so from now on we are protecting her from people that can’t control themselves. It will only take a few times and it should stop.
I work at a large retail financial institution. A customer was creepy towards one of my employees and after i confronted him we fired him as a client. Your boss is not doing their job. I would find somewhere else to work
Get them to ban him; or you’ve quite simply got to go elsewhere.
Talk to the boss one more time. Tell your boss, I am trying to be professional about this, but he’s making me feel unsafe. If nothing is done, I will have to file a harassment complaint towards him the next time he steps out of line.
When he asked your age, were you honest? I would always tell the creepers younger. I lived as a minor for 23 years 😂
Usually when you include that he thinks you are underage and isn’t letting up, it gets attention.
I agree with what others have said here about your boss needing to step up.
If you want to stand up for yourself, when he makes comments about how you look, or tries to interact with you, just give him the hand and say “not interested,” and continue to do your job. If he gets too close, give him the hand and say “personal space,” and continue doing your work. Minimal effort and interaction on your part.
if i were you, i’d stay firm in your boundaries, don’t feel like you have to be overly polite just because you’re at work. if your workplace can’t support you in a situation like this, it might be worth asking whether it’s a place worth staying in at all.
I would contact the police and see if they can give him a no trespassing order. Perhaps even seek a restraining order. I would take his behaviors for serious.