Within the past few months I (18M) have noticed my gf(18F) being less and less affectionate. She doesn’t really show me physical affection anymore besides the occasional kiss when we’re done hanging out. Im being left on delivered for increasingly longer periods of time. I’d also like to add that we’re both 18, been dating for a year and a half and about to go off to different universities. I’m going to talk to her about this the next time we hang out, but I’m not sure when that will be and I need to clear my thoughts so that’s why I’m making this post. What should I say to her when we talk? Why is she being more distant? Am I overreacting? Any help would be appreciated thank you.
TLDR: I’ve noticed my girlfriend growing distant and I need advice on what to say to her.
Comments
I want to help you. I just wanted to point one thing out, if you’ve brought up how she was being distant with her already and she has continuously been distancing herself without explanation it doesn’t seem like she’s putting forth the same energy you are. Love yourself before anyone else, okay? If you don’t know when you guys will be hanging out again and you’re leaving soon, I would message her asking if she has time to talk about something between y’all. Make sure it’s not one-sided. Leave room for thought.
Figure out if she is going through something, struggle with something or what is going on in her life at the moment. Just be curious and a good listener. Ask questions about how she is feeling about what she is going through. Validate those feelings as normal, justified and that you would feel the same.
Sometimes a good listener is enough. But figure out what she additionally needs and wants from a partner based on the above. Do not be too direct in requiring her to solve this problem for you, but you can come with suggestion to things you can do/do more of and ask if that would be to her liking or not.
Try not to comment on “her becoming distant”. You can instead phrase things from your POV. What do you need/want more of? Look back on examples of situations where you were really happy and if she would like to do something similar again so you could have more of that in your relationship.