Went out with a guy I like and he wanted to go to bed after a good make out sesh but he was having some performance issues.
I honestly found it cute and endearing. I’d like him to be more comfortable and to make him feel good. What should I do?
How do I help a guy who is too nervous to perform?
r/AskMen
Comments
Just take your time, be patient . He is going to feel pressured to a degree, by himself and real or imagined expectations. It might take him a little to overcome that.
Assuming you are reaching the foreplay level, just take it slow so he can become comfortable being exposed to you.
Suggest blindfold in the bedroom. Gives him more control and makes him less self conscious
Don’t make it about a performance. Let whatever happens be okay, reassure him, and mean it.
Don’t look until he tells you to
He shouldn’t drink much if he does drink. Maybe you should encourage him with your words because he might like to hear a side of you that he’s unaware of,
Try an aphrodisiac
Any sexual activity that doesn’t require a hard dick. If he is worried that you both having a good time depends on his dick, you’re both gonna have a bad time. Play in other ways. If you can get off and be satisfied without PIV, that will relieve the pressure on him, turn him on, and boost his confidence.
The #1 thing you can do to help is… Nothing. Don’t change what you were doing (unless he asks you to), don’t make a whole conversation out of it, don’t judge him, and above all, don’t take it personally.
Act as if it is… well, exactly what it actually is: something that happens sometimes, and isn’t a big deal. And make it clear you like him and want to see him again, just so he doesn’t get in his own head about it later.
(I would also recommend keeping the “cute and endearing” comment to yourself.)
Stick to foreplay and have him get you off first. Takes all the pressure off the dude and let’s sex be the celebration it’s meant to be.
Tell him to imagine everyone in their underwear.