My (41M) teenage son (17M) is one of the most laid back people I know and always has been. Recently however this has become a big issue as he is not just a “chill guy” anymore but this has transpired into something more. He puts zero effort into anything. It’s not even just school, chores etc. Most of the time he doesn’t even make an effort to meet with his friends or play video games or sports (he does these things sporadically but not routinely and he cannot commit to any of them).
I do not believe he is depressed as he is full of life and seems quite content in his way of life. It’s not like he’s curled up in bed the whole day or acting like a slob. He is just constantly spontaneous and cannot commit to anything. This also makes it hard for him to maintain his friends as when asked to hang out etc. he replies with “maybe” or “I’ll get back to you” and never follows through.
His gf of a year has recently broke up with him as she couldn’t handle his laid back/spontaneous attitude. I am growing increasingly worried about what will happen to him in adult life as he claims to have no clue about what he wants to do when he grows up and will “figure it out later down the line”. I am not just worried about him financially as an adult but also socially as I cannot see him making any new long term friendships/relationships.
We have had him tested for adhd a few months ago in case that was a factor at play but he does not have adhd. I also tried to put him into therapy last year but after 2 months he claimed it to be a waste of time as he had nothing to say/talk about (which I do actually believe) so he stopped.
What am I supposed to do now? I am at my wits end and growing more concerned about this each day. Any help would be appreciated.
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Backup of the post’s body: My (41M) teenage son (17M) is one of the most laid back people I know and always has been. Recently however this has become a big issue as he is not just a “chill guy” anymore but this has transpired into something more. He puts zero effort into anything. It’s not even just school, chores etc. Most of the time he doesn’t even make an effort to meet with his friends or play video games or sports (he does these things sporadically but not routinely and he cannot commit to any of them).
I do not believe he is depressed as he is full of life and seems quite content in his way of life. It’s not like he’s curled up in bed the whole day or acting like a slob. He is just constantly spontaneous and cannot commit to anything. This also makes it hard for him to maintain his friends as when asked to hang out etc. he replies with “maybe” or “I’ll get back to you” and never follows through.
His gf of a year has recently broke up with him as she couldn’t handle his laid back/spontaneous attitude. I am growing increasingly worried about what will happen to him in adult life as he claims to have no clue about what he wants to do when he grows up and will “figure it out later down the line”. I am not just worried about him financially as an adult but also socially as I cannot see him making any new long term friendships/relationships.
We have had him tested for adhd a few months ago in case that was a factor at play but he does not have adhd. I also tried to put him into therapy last year but after 2 months he claimed it to be a waste of time as he had nothing to say/talk about (which I do actually believe) so he stopped.
What am I supposed to do now? I am at my wits end and growing more concerned about this each day. Any help would be appreciated.
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